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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on September 17, 2008, at 22:03:14
and I think other people hate me too
I think there's good reason
I know I am not likely the focus of others' attention, but I feel so incredibly self conscious
no T this week
Posted by lemonaide on September 17, 2008, at 22:09:58
In reply to ugh, I hate myself today.........., posted by obsidian on September 17, 2008, at 22:03:14
Well I don't hate you, I think you are funny, smart and great to chat with. But I know the feeling of hating oneself, I get like this, especially around PMS time. Maybe tomorrow you will feel better. Plus no T can do it to you too, sometimes we just need that extra fix of therapy during the week (((OB)))))))
Posted by Angela2 on September 18, 2008, at 8:39:11
In reply to ugh, I hate myself today.........., posted by obsidian on September 17, 2008, at 22:03:14
(((((Obsidian)))))
Posted by rskontos on September 18, 2008, at 10:39:41
In reply to ugh, I hate myself today.........., posted by obsidian on September 17, 2008, at 22:03:14
Obsidian,
I don't hate you either, in fact, I look forward to your posts and/or threads. You often have so much insight. Sigh. It is so hard for us to see how worthy we are isn't it?
I do hope you feel better. Maybe our hugs can help out.
((((((Obsidian)))))
rsk
Posted by lucie lu on September 18, 2008, at 10:40:52
In reply to ugh, I hate myself today.........., posted by obsidian on September 17, 2008, at 22:03:14
Years ago, I had an absolutely brilliant clinical psych professor. We were talking about a woman who had been admitted to the psych ER with a paper bag over her head. She wouldn't remove it because she said she would turn everyone who saw her to stone because she was so ugly that death rays and other bad things were shooting out of her. Knowing that we were all thinking "Wow, this is really weird," the prof said, "It is only a matter of amplitude. How many days do we wake up feeling something of those same feelings? Can we really not identify with her? We are all human, most of us just don't need to use paper bags."
So, my dear Obsidian, you are having one of those "paper bag" days. It happens. Be good to yourself because it will pass.
Hope you feel better soon.
Best, Lucie
Posted by Dinah on September 18, 2008, at 11:05:45
In reply to Ah, those paper bag days... » obsidian, posted by lucie lu on September 18, 2008, at 10:40:52
I like that. May I borrow it?
I certainly have my paper bag days.
Posted by Dinah on September 18, 2008, at 11:12:41
In reply to ugh, I hate myself today.........., posted by obsidian on September 17, 2008, at 22:03:14
And every other day I can remember.
Is it possible that you have shame attacks? I get shame attacks that are very similar to anxiety attacks. I imagine it would be possible to get shame/anxiety attacks.
I call them attacks, because while sometimes I beat myself up over things I don't like about myself and am perhaps able to rationally think myself out of them, other times they're more like a panic attack. It's impossible for me to think myself out of the underlying shame (or anxiety). All I can do is hold on to the knowledge that the shame attack will eventually end.
Darned if I understand it, but I know I've experienced it. I remember one came on me one time, and I was standing in church and listening to "Amazing Grace" and for the first time in my life I understood the meaning. That I was a wretch. I'd never thought of myself as a miserable wretch, but suddenly I understood. I was so filled with shame.
I think it's some sort of temporal lobe thing (although I'm sure there are those who would say it was just a long overdue insight). It came and went like an anxiety attack, then came and went a few more times over a relatively short period of time. I've never seen it described in the literature, but I do believe it exists because I experienced it.
Posted by Nadezda on September 18, 2008, at 13:28:33
In reply to Re: Ah, those paper bag days... » lucie lu, posted by Dinah on September 18, 2008, at 11:05:45
Hey-- maybe we could start a company that manufactures paper bags for days when people need one. We could branch out into different types of bags-- high fashion, velour, raggedy ones, etc If it catches on, it really would be a huge boon to humanity--
I know that I personally could use several for different occasions.
Nadezda
Posted by Sigismund on September 18, 2008, at 15:39:43
In reply to I like you today » obsidian, posted by Dinah on September 18, 2008, at 11:12:41
>I think it's some sort of temporal lobe thing (although I'm sure there are those who would say it was just a long overdue insight).
Couldn't it be both? You find yourself looking at yourself from a particular angle, and it can be really difficult. I never know really what's valid and what's not. It can seem pretty valid at the time.
Posted by lucie lu on September 18, 2008, at 16:45:34
In reply to Re: Ah, those paper bag days... » lucie lu, posted by Dinah on September 18, 2008, at 11:05:45
Posted by obsidian on September 18, 2008, at 19:17:10
In reply to Ah, those paper bag days... » obsidian, posted by lucie lu on September 18, 2008, at 10:40:52
I just bought a shawl (tears)
Posted by obsidian on September 18, 2008, at 19:22:00
In reply to I like you today » obsidian, posted by Dinah on September 18, 2008, at 11:12:41
yes, I feel absolutely ashamed of myself
absolutely, incredibly ashamed of myself
like why the hell am I living kind of thing...
god
Posted by obsidian on September 18, 2008, at 19:43:11
In reply to Re: Ah, those paper bag days... » Dinah, posted by Nadezda on September 18, 2008, at 13:28:33
sounds like a nice art therapy practice ;-)
Posted by lucie lu on September 18, 2008, at 19:49:14
In reply to Re: I like you today » Dinah, posted by obsidian on September 18, 2008, at 19:22:00
Obsidian,
The story about the paper bag was just to make a point with a little levity but was not meant to detract from how badly you feel. From your last post, you are feeling REALLY terrible, more than just a bad day. Are you in touch with someone? Are you safe?
(((((((((((((((Obsidian))))))))))))))))))))
Worried...
Lucie
Posted by obsidian on September 18, 2008, at 20:24:22
In reply to sorry obsidian, posted by lucie lu on September 18, 2008, at 19:49:14
I'm ok, I'm just really sad
I've got one more day of work to go, and then I can go home and make art about how I feel and sleep a lotit's alright really
I would really call someone if I needed to
I am regressing I guess
I don't mean to, I just feel like a have to
Posted by obsidian on September 18, 2008, at 20:27:41
In reply to sorry obsidian, posted by lucie lu on September 18, 2008, at 19:49:14
oh and don't worry, I really didn't take it the wrong way
I thought you actually understood the feeling very well. It was actually quite helpful.
I really did feel like that today. It was nice that someone could identify it for me.
Posted by lucie lu on September 19, 2008, at 8:22:14
In reply to Re: sorry obsidian » lucie lu, posted by obsidian on September 18, 2008, at 20:27:41
Oh yes, I do understand - I have a closetful of them for my own use. But my bag wardrobe needs spicing up. I like Nadezhda's concept and will probably invest in her company (once Wall St calms down).Humor helps.
NRN,
Lucie
This is the end of the thread.
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