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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Looney Tunes on August 20, 2008, at 11:19:05
I am interested in what different therapists do when a client quits.
What have been your experiences?
Posted by raisinb on August 20, 2008, at 11:47:43
In reply to When you quit, what does your therapist do?, posted by Looney Tunes on August 20, 2008, at 11:19:05
I've talked about quitting for much of my three and a half years of therapy, and I actually quit twice.
My therapist would do everything in her power to let me know that she wanted me to stay and that she thought we could work through our problems. However, when I finally did quit, she respected my decision and didn't contact me after I left.
Ultimately, your therapist has to let you do what you feel is right. Anything otherwise would be crossing a boundary.
I am glad I quit both those times; the breaks were helpful to me. I'm also glad I went back.
Posted by Phillipa on August 20, 2008, at 12:28:35
In reply to When you quit, what does your therapist do?, posted by Looney Tunes on August 20, 2008, at 11:19:05
No contact a bill if one was owed usually pay cash though. So no further contact. Phillipa
Posted by healing928 on August 20, 2008, at 13:08:47
In reply to When you quit, what does your therapist do?, posted by Looney Tunes on August 20, 2008, at 11:19:05
When I decided to quit my t, he suggest a final session to talk about what didn't work, what did work, and what he could have done better. I have started seeing him again, but he was really supportive through my process, and continued even when he wasn't my t through phone calls and email. But everyone is different
Posted by Poet on August 20, 2008, at 14:22:53
In reply to When you quit, what does your therapist do?, posted by Looney Tunes on August 20, 2008, at 11:19:05
Hi Looney Tunes,
I quit and then went back after two weeks of being majorly depressed about quitting. My T looked hurt when I said I was quitting and honestly looked happy to see me when I crawled back.
Poet
Posted by Annierose on August 20, 2008, at 17:48:06
In reply to Re: When you quit, what does your therapist do? » Looney Tunes, posted by Poet on August 20, 2008, at 14:22:53
I quit therapy years ago during a session. My t did call me the following week (when I didn't show up for my standing appointment). She urged me to come in one more time to talk about my decision. When I declined, she accepted my decision and there was no further communication.
I urge you to tell your current therapist your feelings and more than that, your fantasy of what you wish she would do if you did quit.
Posted by Dinah on August 20, 2008, at 18:30:09
In reply to When you quit, what does your therapist do?, posted by Looney Tunes on August 20, 2008, at 11:19:05
My therapist said that I taught him all he knows about quitting.
I did it several times in the early years. He'd always say that he would really like me to come in one last time to discuss it. Once when I said something cynical about him wringing one last fee from me, he offered to have me come in for no charge. Then we'd talk out whatever was bothering me and if I decided not to come back, he'd express regret, say that he enjoyed our time together and would miss me, and reminded me that he was available if I ever needed him in the future. Once I lasted two weeks before crawling back. He never made a big deal about that at all, and never made me feel in the slightest big ashamed.
We talked about it years later, when I had quit quitting. I hadn't realized how much it confused and upset him at the time. He still remembers that he said on one of those occasions that he'd miss me and that he cared about me, and that I looked at him and told him I didn't care about him and wouldn't miss him. He teases me about it now, in a friendly way. But I think it bothered him then. It must have, since he still remembers it. He didn't mention it until long after though.
Posted by stellabystarlight on August 20, 2008, at 18:42:58
In reply to When you quit, what does your therapist do?, posted by Looney Tunes on August 20, 2008, at 11:19:05
My therapist got teary eyed and said he didn't want to say goodbye. He wanted to leave it as a break so that I could come back anytime.I was honest with him and told him I had to quit due to transference pain. He got quite emotional and apologized for my pain, but I said goodbye.
But...I ended up caving and went back after a few months. We've had our ups and downs since then, but our therapy relationship is actually starting to work out for me. I'm finally beginning to feel like I'm becoming stronger and making changes in my life. I have no regrets about quitting and going back. Good luck.
Stellabystarlight
Posted by Cecilia on August 21, 2008, at 4:12:06
In reply to Re: When you quit, what does your therapist do? » Looney Tunes, posted by stellabystarlight on August 20, 2008, at 18:42:58
I quit twice, the first time my t called me and I went crawling back in about 2 weeks. The second time we had a huge argument, she said some very hurtful things and after 7 years it was over, she never called, no way in a million years would I have called after what she said. I sure would have saved a lot of money if I hadn't gone crawling back the first time. Cecilia
Posted by nebulae on August 21, 2008, at 20:21:49
In reply to Re: When you quit, what does your therapist do?, posted by Cecilia on August 21, 2008, at 4:12:06
Cacilia, what happened? What did she say? I am really interested to find out, because my therapist is quitting me right now and had said some out the blue things too.
Posted by Cecilia on August 21, 2008, at 23:32:16
In reply to Re: When you quit, what does your therapist do? » Cecilia, posted by nebulae on August 21, 2008, at 20:21:49
The thing that was the final straw was when she told me that she dreaded our sessions. Whether consciously or unconsciously she had to be trying to get me to quit. I wasn't very good at therapy, but after 7 years she had to know that one of my biggest fears/issues was thinking someone cared about me when they didn't. This was 11 years ago, still hurts so much. Cecilia
Posted by susan47 on August 27, 2008, at 18:55:17
In reply to Re: When you quit, what does your therapist do? » nebulae, posted by Cecilia on August 21, 2008, at 23:32:16
This is the end of the thread.
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