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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by raisinb on April 12, 2008, at 7:59:32
My therapist's practice is moving her office in a couple of weeks. We've been talking about it in sessions for awhile now, and I know it's very upsetting to me in a way I can't quite articulate. When she brings it up, the walls of the current office (where we've spent three years of sessions) seem to expand, leaving a lot of empty space in the room, and my feelings shut off.
My T doesn't seem to get it. She says "it's another change" and "inconsistency is difficult," but to me this is bigger than a missed session or a fight.
Yesterday I was writing about it in my journal and I started sobbing. I felt like I wanted to ask her for *something* from that office--like a piece of the carpet, or a strip of the wallpaper--but I just feel like that would be so silly. I just want something tangible, to show that all those sessions happened, that they were real (why do I feel like they aren't otherwise?)
But this is starting to feel like a major loss, and one that the person who's been in the room with me all this time doesn't feel.
Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice?
Posted by ladybugsmom on April 12, 2008, at 11:37:00
In reply to having a tough time with office move, posted by raisinb on April 12, 2008, at 7:59:32
I am getting ready to go thru the very same thing for the 2nd time with my T. It is very unsettling. My T is very understanding about it. Change is hard. Especicially when it is being done to us and we do not have a say in it. When he moved offices the first time I really paniced and there were some tears. And he said something that really helped and has stuck with me. "It's not the place that made the therapy safe, it's the person." So, when he told me about a week ago that he was moving his office again and remembered how hard the last move was and wanted to give me plenty of time to prepare myself I have made this my mantra--its not the room, its the person, its not the room, its the person. I have been telling myself that over and over again. And it helps. It also helps that my T takes his personal furnishings and pictures because I use a picture of his as my safe place so that will be in his new office. So I do empathise with you. It is natural to panic because it effects your life as well. But it will work out. Just remember...its the person who is safe...not the room.
Posted by seldomseen on April 12, 2008, at 16:20:29
In reply to having a tough time with office move, posted by raisinb on April 12, 2008, at 7:59:32
You know, I think it is a great idea to ask for something of the old office to take with you. I don't think it is stupid at all.
My T moved as well. While the change was a little unsettling, I actually like the new place better now.
Also, ladybugsmom is exactly right I think. It is the person that matters and not the room. I suspect that when you get in the new office, and your therapist is the same old person, you'll settle in pretty quickly.
But the anticipation of change is so hard.
My T has an immense collection of books, and seeing the books in the new space helped too.
Seldom.
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on April 12, 2008, at 23:18:02
In reply to Re: having a tough time with office move » raisinb, posted by seldomseen on April 12, 2008, at 16:20:29
Although it will probably be hard, it might actually have some benefit too. My T moved 3 times in the 6 years that I saw her. It is hard to describe, but I sort of felt like as I was leaving the old office behind, I was leaving part of the old, unhealthy me behind. I was growing into a new space. I hope you can reflect upon the growth you have experienced in therapy and view this as the beginning of a new chapter. Does that make sense?
Best,
EE
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