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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by catlady on January 18, 2008, at 21:43:10
I started therapy with a new T in october. She is very nice, but the age thing sort of bothers me. I am 45. She is a couple of years younger than me. All the therapists I had before were older than me. I find myself missing the nurturing and closeness I had with them. So I was wondering are your therapists older or younger than you? Does it bother you? Is it working? Please let me know.
Posted by Dinah on January 18, 2008, at 22:03:58
In reply to therapist older or younger?, posted by catlady on January 18, 2008, at 21:43:10
Between four and five years older. It's weird to think that he was way younger than I am now when I first saw him. Yet I saw him a parental figure and thought he had all the answers. It's fine to me, but it might feel a bit weird to him.
My internist and gynecologist are both younger than I am, and I admit I sometimes wonder how much they could possibly know. But I guess as I get older I'll have to accept that.
But for a therapist? I'm not sure. Age might make a difference to me.
Posted by MissK on January 18, 2008, at 22:16:09
In reply to therapist older or younger?, posted by catlady on January 18, 2008, at 21:43:10
>So I was wondering are your therapists older or younger than you? Does it bother you? Is it working?
Don't know her exact age. Early forties (based on a comment she once made about 40 not being so bad), which would make her a few years older than me. Doesn't bother me and my therapy seems to be working.
Posted by raisinb on January 19, 2008, at 8:56:39
In reply to Re: therapist older or younger? » catlady, posted by MissK on January 18, 2008, at 22:16:09
Mine is nearly my age (a couple of years older). I'd been basking in the (for me, safer) assumption/fantasy of her being much older (at least five years) until she mentioned how close in age we were. I remember yelling at her, "I don't want to know *that*! What is *wrong* with you?"
All other Ts I've seen have been significantly older, and the transference has been nowhere near as intense and multilayered. All kinds of issues surface that never would, otherwise (if I wrote them all down I'd break the longest post record or something). Age sure does make a difference!
Posted by frida on January 19, 2008, at 13:44:49
In reply to therapist older or younger?, posted by catlady on January 18, 2008, at 21:43:10
Hi,
i guess it also depends on the personality, style of the T...and how you feel with her/him...I am 31, my T is around 60. She's very nurturing and a mother figure to me. I feel protected by her. I don't know if i could feel that with someone younger or the same age as me. The only thing that worries me about my T being 60 is to think of the possibility of something happening to her.
Maybe you just need to give it a little more time to see how you feel with her? Does she inspire trust in you?
all the best,
Frida
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