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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 9:57:40
Does anyone else ever get really anxious that you're going to mess up your appt. time when it changes? Mine changed this semester, and even though I have it written and confirmed it orally with my T last time I was there and saw him check it on his schedule, I still am nervous. It's this whole feeling that I always have that I can't trust my own memory and something inevitably will go wrong. Does anyone else ever feel this?
sunnydays
Posted by muffled on January 18, 2008, at 10:07:05
In reply to changing appt times, posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 9:57:40
I check my time right B4 I go and still get nervous!!
I also fuss if T is late. cuz what if I had the wrong time? I would feel embarrassed!
Oh well.
Still bugs me, but not AS much!
M
Posted by Dinah on January 18, 2008, at 10:15:15
In reply to changing appt times, posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 9:57:40
I always get it in writing, in his own hand. It's kind of silly since we are generally at the same time each week. But with my OCD it's a good precaution.
Posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 10:41:57
In reply to changing appt times, posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 9:57:40
I've been crying for 20 minutes now. I really really really really wanted to see him today and his secretary called and said he was in the office, but he was going home because he didn't feel good. I wanted to see him so much. It's not fair.
sunnydays
Posted by rskontos on January 18, 2008, at 10:49:57
In reply to changing appt times, posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 9:57:40
Sunnydays, you want to know what I did?
Well, I arrived for my last appt. I thought about 5 minutes early. Well try 2 hours early. And I walked in another young man was there. He asked me if my appt. was at 10:15 and I said I thought it was. Now my p-doc rights it down for me in his own hand like Dinah's.. (MY pdoc does my therapy). I wrote it down in my calendar. Dr. X called the young man back and he said Dr. X there are two of us back here. And Dr. X came back and say me.. And he says just you wait right there. He said I have you down for 12:15 but wait right there. And I am thinking for an hour are you kidding. So as soon as they leave I go to my car. Well I happened to know where the guys' care was as he parked in front of me. And he came out got in his car and left. I said oh Sh*t. Now I have to go back. I go back and Dr. X is out in the hallway looking for me. He says come on it. And my inner voices are screaming stupid stupid stupid. And so on and so on...I start crying of course, and he says don't cry and dont fret it is ok. No harm is done. That young man can come back easily but you I am not so sure will come back. Well he was right. And he said it is my fault I have not given you a set time and that is not right. I can change the day but the time should be consisent. I was floored. He took the blame and I said no it was my fault and he said no it wasn't. Dont' think about it any more. He besides that young man is doing well and doesn't mind.
I go home and fine the card he wrote for me. And I never remember seeing that time. Weird isn't it. I think it is strange how that work. But it worked out because I saw how far he would go to accommodate me.....still made me feel good and weird all together. So no I absolutely can't trust my own memories or eyes. I have parts that try not to get us to therapy and obviously they took over but they didn't win. Or someelse pointed out to me they tried to get us there 2 hours early. Ever how you want to look at it......provided I would have waited 2 hours. But in end it worked out......amazing though he still saw me.....SO yes to your question....and you are definitely not the only one, I am probably the worst one in the bunch......
rsk
At least to my p-doc I looked the stupidest.....LOL
Posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 12:04:05
In reply to he cancelled, posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 10:41:57
I keep thinking he's going to be gone forever. And I desperately want to call him, but I can't because he's sick. And I just want to know if really he left because he doesn't want to see me this afternoon. I really really wanted to see him. I was going to be good, I had a lot of stuff I wanted to talk about. I keep telling myself he can't help being sick, but the little girl part of me says, "But I wanted to see him. If he really cared he wouldn't have gotten sick." Which is ridiculous, but the little girl feels frantic right now that he's going to be gone forever, or out for months like the time he hurt his back or something.
Help.
sunnydays
Posted by Phillipa on January 18, 2008, at 12:40:22
In reply to :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(, posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 12:04:05
Don't know where you live but a bad cold like virus going around now spent Christmas and New Years on the couch. He may have that and just need rest try not to worry. I'm sure he feels horrible about letting his clients down. Phillipa
Posted by muffled on January 18, 2008, at 13:48:55
In reply to :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(, posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 12:04:05
Sunnydays, he might not be back....life has no guarantees, but y'know what? I think he WILL be back. Winter is the worst time for viruses, there's tons going around here right now. So I'd say the odds are WAY in your favor that he won't be sick for long, and will be back again quite soon. I think your kid pretty much knows he will be back, but she still scared. Can you try and distract yourself? Can you write down all your wild thots, and then follow each one up with a logical, true, answer.
Eg: 'My T is gonna be gone forever'. You can refute that with, he has been gone for periods of time, many times before, but he has ALWAYS come back in the past. There may be a delay, but he comes back.
And there's stuff your kid is pannicking and thinking and feeling, at this point adult you knows its not true, but your kid won't listen. You can try yelling STOP! out loud to try and get her attention, and then reassure her kindly.
Then there's all the relaxation stuff, and trying to be around others who you are comfortable with.
This will pass SD.
Ride it out.
Do what you can to be more comfortable.
M
Posted by JoniS on January 18, 2008, at 15:27:41
In reply to changing appt times, posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 9:57:40
Hi Sunny
Sorry you don't get to go to T. That always bums me out too. Just look at it this way. You have to wait til next week, not 10 weeks from now :o)
You could post that good stuff here that you wanted to talk to him about.I ALWAYS fear that I am coming at the wrong time. did it too, a few months ago. I walked in at 10:00 and he said - you're early. I said I am? how early? He said 3 hours! OOPs. I felt stupid. I said sorry, I'll be back at 1:00.
I am actually having that fear you mentioned - that mine wont come back. He assured me he will (before he left) but for some reason I wonder...
I hope you are able to put your disappointment out of your mind and find other ways to get what you need. I guess that's what we're supposed to be learning when we play this "waiting game"
Take Care,
Joni
Posted by Dinah on January 18, 2008, at 16:22:25
In reply to he cancelled, posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 10:41:57
Poor guy. He must have felt pretty bad, since he doesn't ordinarily cancel.
I offered to let mine go home today. He was restless and said his back hurt, like maybe kidney stones. But he said it wasn't bad enough for me to leave.
You must confess that however much you wanted to see him, you wouldn't want him to barf on you or anything. It's far far better for him to go home if he's feeling unwell.
Posted by seldomseen on January 18, 2008, at 19:17:13
In reply to Re: he cancelled » sunnydays, posted by Dinah on January 18, 2008, at 16:22:25
plus, I don't know if your therapists office is anything like mine, but it is pretty small.
Anything he had, you likely would have caught.
Nice guy, he's looking out for you! At least he called - or had someone do it. He's thinking about you.
Seldom
Posted by Dinah on January 18, 2008, at 20:51:04
In reply to Re: he cancelled to Sunny and Dinah, posted by seldomseen on January 18, 2008, at 19:17:13
Quite true. Certainly I remember times when I wish my therapist had decided to stay home and keep his germs to himself. :) However much I generally like to keep my appointments.
Sunny, I can understand why you would have liked a direct call. I think I would have been worried or distressed by an indirect call myself. It's far more reassuring to hear it from him.
Posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 21:41:25
In reply to Re: he cancelled to Sunny and Dinah » seldomseen, posted by Dinah on January 18, 2008, at 20:51:04
It's always an indirect call because he works for the school. I just hate this. Part of me is really mad at him for being sick too. And I wouldn't want him to come if he was sick, I get all that, it doesn't make it any easier, though. I wanted him to be there and he wasn't. :( He promised. He said he'd see me Friday. He was supposed to be there. And what if he's not back Tuesday? I'm freaked out. I know it's irrational, I know, I know. But knowing doesn't stop feeling like I hate him for being sick and not being there but I miss him so much and I just want to be with him.
sunnydays
Posted by Dinah on January 18, 2008, at 22:12:44
In reply to Re: he cancelled to Sunny and Dinah, posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 21:41:25
I understand Sunny. There's a difference between the pragmatic thoughts and the emotional thoughts. And even though you care about your therapist and don't want him to feel bad, you're still disappointed and angry that you aren't going to see him.
I generally tilt it around a bit and am angry at the fates or the germs or his other stupid clients for infecting him, letting me feel only my loving concern for him. But I'm probably lying a bit to myself.
Being honest with yourself is probably smarter, so at least that's good work on your part?
Posted by Dinah on January 18, 2008, at 22:18:53
In reply to Re: changing appt times » sunnydays, posted by rskontos on January 18, 2008, at 10:49:57
That's a really nice young man patient that your pdoc has. I'm pretty sure that my therapist would rather face a dozen landsharks with both hands tied behind his back than ask me to come back later (although I've volunteered after having been told that of course it's my time). That was very very understanding of the young man. He must be doing very well.
Posted by star008 on January 19, 2008, at 7:14:45
In reply to changing appt times, posted by sunnydays on January 18, 2008, at 9:57:40
Yes sunny.. I do this all the time..I have no idea why. I am afraid I will walk in at the wrong time and feel dumb.. I write it down on my calender and end up checking it again in the parking lot. I am glad it isn't just me.
Posted by sunnydays on January 19, 2008, at 12:47:49
In reply to Re: he cancelled to Sunny and Dinah » sunnydays, posted by Dinah on January 18, 2008, at 22:12:44
Thanks for your support everyone. I am feeling increasingly hurt by reading other posts on this site, so I don't know if I'm going to be around as much. Unfortunately, I'm addicted, so I'm sure as soon as I say that I'll be around as much as I always am. I just feel like it's not safe for me to share how I feel and how much I am struggling with my attachment issues and my relationship with my therapist because I am afraid of being criticized for it. Or indirectly criticized for it, even just from inferring things from other unrelated posts that hurt me.
I feel like I have a healthy relationship with my T that allows me to grow and change. And it hurts sometimes, but that's all part of the process I think when you have attachment issues. And I just have to keep struggling through it and talking about it with him. I just feel like lately that it's not safe here to struggle with that approach. It may all be in my head, but my head is pretty good at coming up with criticism by itself so that I think I need to protect myself and not read so much that might cause me to be able to think up even more criticisms.
This is really hard for me, because I am struggling with my T being out, and this is usually a safe place I turn to for support. I just feel like it's less safe now. I know the character of the site ebbs and flows based on who's posting, so I'll be around, just hopefully not as much if I can manage it (which I'm not sure I even can).
sunnydays
Posted by Dinah on January 19, 2008, at 12:54:03
In reply to thanks... trying to take a little break, posted by sunnydays on January 19, 2008, at 12:47:49
((((Sunny))))
This is the end of the thread.
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