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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maxime on January 14, 2008, at 16:53:19
Hi
Just curious here. I bring a bright red stress ball to therapy. It lessens my anxiety.
Anyone here bring anything?
Does your T mind?
Maxime
Posted by Dinah on January 14, 2008, at 16:57:47
In reply to Bringing items to therapy, posted by Maxime on January 14, 2008, at 16:53:19
I've brought items. He doesn't mind.
Lately I've been putting photos on my ipod and showing them to him.
Posted by muffled on January 14, 2008, at 17:30:50
In reply to Bringing items to therapy, posted by Maxime on January 14, 2008, at 16:53:19
ROFL!!! Used to bring my knife. Stayed in my pocket though...
My T knew I had it and didn't say NOT to bring it. She knew it was just like a security blanet for me is all.
I think I will bring a board game, or cards, mebbe tomorrow!
I too have showed my T pics one time for sure.
One time I brought her a muffin.
She gave me a shell one time.
Its all nice.
M
Posted by Maxime on January 14, 2008, at 17:41:11
In reply to Re: Bringing items to therapy, posted by Dinah on January 14, 2008, at 16:57:47
> I've brought items. He doesn't mind.
>
> Lately I've been putting photos on my ipod and showing them to him.That's a great idea. Maybe if I saw a picture of my dog I would stress so much.
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on January 14, 2008, at 17:42:12
In reply to Re: Bringing items to therapy, posted by muffled on January 14, 2008, at 17:30:50
M, I always have a razor blade in my pocket, but he doesn't know. I just need it with me.
Maxime
> ROFL!!! Used to bring my knife. Stayed in my pocket though...
> My T knew I had it and didn't say NOT to bring it. She knew it was just like a security blanet for me is all.
> I think I will bring a board game, or cards, mebbe tomorrow!
> I too have showed my T pics one time for sure.
> One time I brought her a muffin.
> She gave me a shell one time.
> Its all nice.
> M
Posted by Phoenix1 on January 14, 2008, at 19:51:19
In reply to Re: Bringing items to therapy » muffled, posted by Maxime on January 14, 2008, at 17:42:12
> M, I always have a razor blade in my pocket, but he doesn't know. I just need it with me.
>
> Maxime
>
>
> > ROFL!!! Used to bring my knife. Stayed in my pocket though...
> > My T knew I had it and didn't say NOT to bring it. She knew it was just like a security blanet for me is all.
> > I think I will bring a board game, or cards, mebbe tomorrow!
> > I too have showed my T pics one time for sure.
> > One time I brought her a muffin.
> > She gave me a shell one time.
> > Its all nice.
> > M
>
>Hi Maxime,
Not sure how you use the trigger warning thing or if I needed to use it here...
Why don't you want to tell him you have the razor blade with you at all times? Seems awfully pertinent to me. Do you not trust him or are you worried about how he will react? Or is it a control thing, as in if you have the blade and no one knows, you always have control over whether or not to cut, and no one can take that control away from you. I understand needing to feel in control of SOMETHING, and being petrified of losing that control. It makes a lot of sense in some ways, and is totally irrational in other ways, isn't it? Anyways, just guessing but maybe you can explain better.
I used to ALWAYS carry a nearly lethal quantity of benzos with me "just in case". (Seriously, enough to render an elephant unconscious for a long long time) I couldn't leave the house without it. I talked this out with my psychiatrist at some length. I don't do this anymore, because I trust him, and he says if I am having severe anxiety, he will take care of it no matter when he gets the call. And I really believe him.
It's nice not feeling like I need to carry those drugs around with me. Freeing in a way. Anyways, just a thought.
Phoenix1
Posted by Maxime on January 14, 2008, at 20:34:52
In reply to Re: Bringing items to therapy - Cutting Trigger?- » Maxime, posted by Phoenix1 on January 14, 2008, at 19:51:19
I think it is control thing as to why I don't tell him I have a blade (at least 1). I am scared he would take it away. I always need to know that I can kill myself at any time should the need arise. Sounds stupid I bet.
Maxime
Posted by Phoenix1 on January 14, 2008, at 20:42:44
In reply to Re: Bringing items to therapy - Cutting Trigger?- » Phoenix1, posted by Maxime on January 14, 2008, at 20:34:52
> I think it is control thing as to why I don't tell him I have a blade (at least 1). I am scared he would take it away. I always need to know that I can kill myself at any time should the need arise. Sounds stupid I bet.
>
> MaximeNot stupid at all. It's actually not so different from me always carrying around enough benzos to off myself, or at least put myself into a nice warm coma.
It's being in control of 1 single thing when you feel you have no control over anything else in your life. It's something to hang on to, a security blanket. It makes so much sense to me actually. I don't have it anymore. I really don't feel any sense of control over anything even though my depression is better. On one level I'm improving, on another level, I think I'm going to need some therapy to resolve my issues. Not sure if I've found the right T. It's so weird. I don't know if he's OK yet. I certainly don't trust him yet. I had my guard up for the first session, although I was open, and honest.
Anyways Maxime, I understand the blade thing, and if it gives you that control that you feel you n eed to keep going then that's fine. I would be interested to see what your T would say about it. I doubt he'd take it away, especially if you told him what the significance was. And I do worry a lot about your cutting. See, I worry about so much that is so far beyond my control.
Feeling some emotion tonight for the first time since the really bad depression...
Phoenix1
Posted by Daisym on January 14, 2008, at 22:02:43
In reply to Re: Bringing items to therapy - Cutting Trigger?- » Maxime, posted by Phoenix1 on January 14, 2008, at 20:42:44
I brought my stuffed animal - more than once actually. She was really important to me when I was a child, during and after the csa so my therapist wanted to meet "her." It was very emotional for me to see him holding her so carefully and tenderly - clearly sending the message that this part of me was important to him.
Is there something specific you'd like to bring?
Posted by Phoenix1 on January 14, 2008, at 22:44:32
In reply to Re: Bringing items to therapy - Cutting Trigger?-, posted by Daisym on January 14, 2008, at 22:02:43
> I brought my stuffed animal - more than once actually. She was really important to me when I was a child, during and after the csa so my therapist wanted to meet "her." It was very emotional for me to see him holding her so carefully and tenderly - clearly sending the message that this part of me was important to him.
>
> Is there something specific you'd like to bring?Hi Daisym,
Are you asking me if there is anything I would bring in? That made me think. I have no object that is special to me, other than my wedding ring, which I bring in every time. I have nothing from childhood that I kept. Certainly nothing with special memories that I would like to relive. Old photos make me sad, because I see something in myself that I would rather forget. Is that strange?
I think if I wanted to bring something of importance, it would be my wife and children. I am very proud of them, and although they aren't my possessions, they are the only physical things I really feel any attachment to. I just don't have any material possessions that mean anything to me. What do you think that says about me? (Don't say I'm not materialistic because in I am, in terms of wanting new "stuff" like everyone else). Hmm, this is an interesting exercise for me.
Phoenix1
Posted by Daisym on January 14, 2008, at 22:57:55
In reply to Re: Bringing items to therapy - Cutting Trigger?- » Daisym, posted by Phoenix1 on January 14, 2008, at 22:44:32
Is there anything of your children's that means a lot to you? I have all my kids "blankets" saved for them, should they ever want them. And I have my oldest son's snuggle bear, which means a lot to me because he got it when he was in the hospital at 3 (now he is almost 23).
I think it is sweet what you said about the ring...
Posted by Phoenix1 on January 14, 2008, at 23:02:25
In reply to Re: Bringing items to therapy - Cutting Trigger?- » Phoenix1, posted by Daisym on January 14, 2008, at 22:57:55
> Is there anything of your children's that means a lot to you? I have all my kids "blankets" saved for them, should they ever want them. And I have my oldest son's snuggle bear, which means a lot to me because he got it when he was in the hospital at 3 (now he is almost 23).
>
> I think it is sweet what you said about the ring...You're right, I have lot's of things of the children's that are meaningful to me. Lots. That make me happier to think about.
And thanks for thinking I'm sweet about the ring thing. My wife might or might not agree with you. :)
Phoenix1
Posted by Phillipa on January 15, 2008, at 13:16:59
In reply to Re: Bringing items to therapy - Cutting Trigger?- » Daisym, posted by Phoenix1 on January 14, 2008, at 23:02:25
I bring or go with my husband but go in alone does that count? Oh and the check to pay her. Phillipa
Posted by Bodhisattva on January 15, 2008, at 14:54:47
In reply to Re: Bringing items to therapy - Cutting Trigger?- » Phoenix1, posted by Maxime on January 14, 2008, at 20:34:52
That's a basic survival instinct. You are maintaining a way out, an escape route.
Mental pain hurts a lot more than anything you can suffer physically, partly because you will eventually pass out.
So no, not stupid. There are things that I do myself to keep an "exit" handy. Things that allow my mind to leave my past behind. They are very important.
Posted by sunnydays on January 15, 2008, at 20:01:19
In reply to Bringing items to therapy, posted by Maxime on January 14, 2008, at 16:53:19
I have brought lots of things. I have brought my stuffed rabbit a few times. Sometimes I left her in my bag and never said I brought her, but sometimes I got her out to hug her. My T thought it was totally normal, and he encouraged me to bring it whenever I wanted to. It was to help the little girl part feel safe in his office.
I have also brought photos to show and tell. And drawings and things like that. I have left a drawing in my T's office, hidden, that only he and I know is there, so that my little girl can stay there when she wants.
And my T has this stress ball that he gives me sometimes to hold and would have let me take it home, but I didn't want to. I have a stone he gave me so I can remember he's there.
sunnydays
Posted by Maxime on January 16, 2008, at 21:44:42
In reply to Re: Bringing items to therapy » Maxime, posted by sunnydays on January 15, 2008, at 20:01:19
Sounds like you have a very understanding T. You are lucky! :)
Maxime
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