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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 15:38:22
Hi
My therapist knows that I cut and last week he asked to see them! He has made the assumption that I cut on my arms. I can't show him my cuts because I would have to expose myself which ain't going to happen.
Anyhow, I thought it was weird that he wanted to see them. Is it?
Maxime
Posted by rskontos on December 14, 2007, at 15:50:52
In reply to Therapist wants to see my cuts!, posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 15:38:22
Maxi, i am not much good right now, i am certifiable basket case but i would think it is to make you feel accountable. to show him these might make you think twice the next time around.
i read about cutting last night in my book i am reading.
did you ask him why he wants to see them..maybe you should.
rk
Posted by Bodhisattva on December 14, 2007, at 16:03:58
In reply to Therapist wants to see my cuts!, posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 15:38:22
I would think that you chose a very private area to cut so that no one would see it. Is it just another way of hiding your pain?
I think you should ask your therapist if you can call the next time you get the urge to cut. That way you can tell him what you're thinking and feeling. He's trying to see your pain. So if you were to call, then he could see the pain without seeing the cuts. Maybe he could even help find a way out of the pain without cutting, or cut less.
What do you think?
Posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 16:16:42
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts! » maxime, posted by Bodhisattva on December 14, 2007, at 16:03:58
> I would think that you chose a very private area to cut so that no one would see it. Is it just another way of hiding your pain?
>
> I think you should ask your therapist if you can call the next time you get the urge to cut. That way you can tell him what you're thinking and feeling. He's trying to see your pain. So if you were to call, then he could see the pain without seeing the cuts. Maybe he could even help find a way out of the pain without cutting, or cut less.
>
> What do you think?I cut where no one can see because I don't want anyone to know how messed up I am.
He is a busy psych in a hospital. I don't think I can call him. I want to stop cutting, but my anxiety is so high right now.
I don't know .. I am confused.
Maxime
Posted by muffled on December 14, 2007, at 16:20:59
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts! » Bodhisattva, posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 16:16:42
Maybe he just wants to see to see that they are cared for. Also maybe to see how deeply you cut.
Maybe he will be satisfied if you tell him about how you care for your cuts. That if its bad you will go get it stitched, and that you are knowing and watching for signs of infection.....
NO way do I think you should expose any part of yourself if it makes you uncomfortable.
NEVER EVER do you expose part of yourself it it causes you to fear. This would be wrong.
Maybe you just talk to him bout it,
This is just my opinion.
M
Posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 16:23:21
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts!, posted by rskontos on December 14, 2007, at 15:50:52
> Maxi, i am not much good right now, i am certifiable basket case but i would think it is to make you feel accountable. to show him these might make you think twice the next time around.
>
> i read about cutting last night in my book i am reading.
>
> did you ask him why he wants to see them..maybe you should.
>
> rkI should ask him. I guess maybe he wants to know what he is dealing with and if I am in danger. I am not. I don't cut very deep at all because I hate the scars. I see him on Tuesday and if he mentions it again I will ask.
Thanks.
Maxie
Posted by Bodhisattva on December 14, 2007, at 16:23:52
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts! » Bodhisattva, posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 16:16:42
I would ask if you can try to call him anyway.
If he's unavailable for you. Can you try and post here? Maybe send someone a babble mail and see if they can talk to you a bit?
I'm just guessing again, that you go somewhere private to do the cutting. If you weren't alone when you feel like that, If you had someone to rely on, maybe you could find another way to get through your anxiety.
Posted by rskontos on December 14, 2007, at 16:24:19
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts!, posted by rskontos on December 14, 2007, at 15:50:52
Sorry i am thinking straight
i didnt mean to show him just that he might think that if you showed you then you might not be so able to do this again....if you have the cuts where i think you mean then no way you should show him and i would be like you too. i don't know if i could tell him either
so i think bodhi suggestion of calling him next time is good one, ask him to do this, ask him why he wants to see, and tell him like muffled said you took care of them.
You did right? And they aren't deep right? Now i worry bout you.
you ok....maxi
rk
Posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 16:25:41
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts! » maxime, posted by muffled on December 14, 2007, at 16:20:59
> Maybe he just wants to see to see that they are cared for. Also maybe to see how deeply you cut.
> Maybe he will be satisfied if you tell him about how you care for your cuts. That if its bad you will go get it stitched, and that you are knowing and watching for signs of infection.....
> NO way do I think you should expose any part of yourself if it makes you uncomfortable.
> NEVER EVER do you expose part of yourself it it causes you to fear. This would be wrong.
> Maybe you just talk to him bout it,
> This is just my opinion.
> MI think you are right M. Some people really cut themselves badly, but luckily I do not. I'll just tell him that.
Thanks!
Maxime
Posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 16:30:03
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts!maxine, posted by rskontos on December 14, 2007, at 16:24:19
Don't worry about me. The cuts are not bad and I take care of them.
Thanks for caring. I cut on my upper legs, hips, stomach and breasts hence why I cannot show him.
Maxime
> Sorry i am thinking straight
> i didnt mean to show him just that he might think that if you showed you then you might not be so able to do this again....
>
> if you have the cuts where i think you mean then no way you should show him and i would be like you too. i don't know if i could tell him either
>
> so i think bodhi suggestion of calling him next time is good one, ask him to do this, ask him why he wants to see, and tell him like muffled said you took care of them.
>
> You did right? And they aren't deep right? Now i worry bout you.
>
> you ok....maxi
>
> rk
Posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 16:32:25
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts! » maxime, posted by Bodhisattva on December 14, 2007, at 16:23:52
I am scared to ask ... I know that sounds silly. I just started seeing him.
You are right in saying that I shouldn't be alone ... that's what he said.
I wouldn't want somebody to feel responsible for my cutting. I couldn't babble mail someone ... it's too much pressure for someone else who also has problems.
I'm sure I will come up with a solution soon.
Maxime
> I would ask if you can try to call him anyway.
>
> If he's unavailable for you. Can you try and post here? Maybe send someone a babble mail and see if they can talk to you a bit?
>
> I'm just guessing again, that you go somewhere private to do the cutting. If you weren't alone when you feel like that, If you had someone to rely on, maybe you could find another way to get through your anxiety.
Posted by Bodhisattva on December 14, 2007, at 16:58:05
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts! » Bodhisattva, posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 16:32:25
How about you babble mail me then. I'm not asking for responsibility, I'm just asking for the chance to exchange some words with you when you are feeling at your worst. I understand that the way you deal with your pain is your choice and something that you deem necessary. Just send me a mail the next time, we'll chat about what's bothering you. Then you can decide what to do from there.
What do you think?
Posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 17:07:26
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts! » maxime, posted by Bodhisattva on December 14, 2007, at 16:58:05
> How about you babble mail me then. I'm not asking for responsibility, I'm just asking for the chance to exchange some words with you when you are feeling at your worst. I understand that the way you deal with your pain is your choice and something that you deem necessary. Just send me a mail the next time, we'll chat about what's bothering you. Then you can decide what to do from there.
>
> What do you think?
Okay, thank you. I usually have problems between 7:00 pm to 11:00 pm. Thanks again.
Posted by littleone on December 14, 2007, at 17:10:44
In reply to Therapist wants to see my cuts!, posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 15:38:22
I think my t insisted i show him my cuts each time they happened because of shame issues surrounding it all. And while something is hidden away it stays shameful. Much healthier to bring it into the room and share it with him and remain accepted and he can work with me to reduce the cutting.
It's possible this is part of your's t's reasoning. Obviously if you have cut on a private part of your body, then you need to discuss this with your t so he can find alternative ways to address the shame, etc.
Posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 17:23:25
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts! » maxime, posted by littleone on December 14, 2007, at 17:10:44
Do you mean he wants to see them so that he can shame you? I hope not. That's wrong. What is his reaction to your cuts?
Maxime
Posted by seldomseen on December 14, 2007, at 21:17:03
In reply to Therapist wants to see my cuts!, posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 15:38:22
I may be in the minority here, but I would show your therapist your cuts.
If it were me, I would I think.
At the bare minimum I would tell him where they are.
Why? I think because someone in real life deserves to know how you are hurting. They deserve to see it and try to help you through it. At least they could just be there with you while you live it.
That shame you carry is not yours to bear. My guess is that it belongs entirely to someone else. I would let someone help you with it.
I wish you peace. You are in my thoughts.
Seldom.
Posted by Racer on December 15, 2007, at 10:30:32
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts! » littleone, posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 17:23:25
> Do you mean he wants to see them so that he can shame you? I hope not. That's wrong. What is his reaction to your cuts?
>
> Maxime
>No, my guess is that she means he wants to ease the shame by sharing it, by showing her that it can be shared, safely, and without judgment. I can't communicate this morning, but I know what I read in that -- dispersing the shame, by sharing it with someone else.
Sorry if that doesn't make sense...
Posted by Poet on December 15, 2007, at 11:38:30
In reply to Therapist wants to see my cuts!, posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 15:38:22
Hi Maxime,
I would not want to expose my body to anyone, either. I think your T wants to see the cuts as a way to assure you that you can tell him/show him anything and he won't judge you. Also it brings something you keep hidden out into the open in a place where you don't have to be ashamed about what you do.
Poet
Posted by Phillipa on December 15, 2007, at 13:26:35
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts! » maxime, posted by Poet on December 15, 2007, at 11:38:30
Had a patient once who cut the most private of parts and we had to see them daily. I don't think he wants to shame you but make sure they are not deep or infected. His licencse is at stake too. Maybe the thigh? This particular patient went on to cut very deeply and almost had to be hospitalized. Just a different take on the situation. I feel your pain and I cut my thighs as a teen as my Mom was dying and didn't know how to express the feeling of horror and sadness. Phillipa
Posted by Maxime on December 15, 2007, at 21:37:41
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts!, posted by Phillipa on December 15, 2007, at 13:26:35
How can I show him my thigh without dropping my pants??!! There is really no place I can show him. He is going to have to take my word for it that the cuts are taken care of.
Maxime
> Had a patient once who cut the most private of parts and we had to see them daily. I don't think he wants to shame you but make sure they are not deep or infected. His licencse is at stake too. Maybe the thigh? This particular patient went on to cut very deeply and almost had to be hospitalized. Just a different take on the situation. I feel your pain and I cut my thighs as a teen as my Mom was dying and didn't know how to express the feeling of horror and sadness. Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on December 16, 2007, at 18:15:16
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts! » Phillipa, posted by Maxime on December 15, 2007, at 21:37:41
Maxie could you either wear an old pair of pants jeanx and cut a hole when the cutting is or wear a skirt? Just a suggestion. Not much exposure that way. Phillipa
Posted by Maxime on December 17, 2007, at 16:17:21
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts! » Maxime, posted by Phillipa on December 16, 2007, at 18:15:16
> Maxie could you either wear an old pair of pants jeanx and cut a hole when the cutting is or wear a skirt? Just a suggestion. Not much exposure that way. Phillipa
No way!
Maxime
Posted by muffled on December 17, 2007, at 20:38:13
In reply to Re: Therapist wants to see my cuts! » muffled, posted by maxime on December 14, 2007, at 16:25:41
> > Maybe he just wants to see to see that they are cared for. Also maybe to see how deeply you cut.
> > Maybe he will be satisfied if you tell him about how you care for your cuts. That if its bad you will go get it stitched, and that you are knowing and watching for signs of infection.....
> > NO way do I think you should expose any part of yourself if it makes you uncomfortable.
> > NEVER EVER do you expose part of yourself it it causes you to fear. This would be wrong.
> > Maybe you just talk to him bout it,
> > This is just my opinion.
> > M
>
> I think you are right M. Some people really cut themselves badly, but luckily I do not. I'll just tell him that.
>
> Thanks!
>
> Maxime
>
>***Hmmm, even small cuts scar and stuff. Its a tool cutting is, but not a good one.
You just tell him you will be honest bout cutting when you done it.
I truly am disturbed by him wanting to see. i'm sorry, obvo I do not know the whole picture but please do not expose you body to a T. They head docs, NOT medical physical docs. They should not be looking at your body.
I guess you need to ask *him* why. I do not know what the whole story is.
Recently I was in hosp. Nurse says take off shirt, put on gown. I say NO. She say OK for now. Later, nurse say, drop pants for shot in hip, I say NO. You do arm. IM shot can be in arm. They do arm. Kida hurt, but I not take my pants down. NO. So lotsa times there can be other ways. Sometimes not. Sometimes yes.
Don't EVER just do what someone says. Listen to your instincts and heed them.
Those are what I would think.
Sorry, I do not mean to frighten you.
This is my own s
'stuff' showing I guess.
I just want all to be safe.
Thats all.
be safe.
M
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