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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 11:28:55
I am so anti-social. I don't seem to know how to talk to people these days. I never call anyone on the phone, or initiate an email, or start a post. When someone calls me, I manage to be polite (I think) and pleasant (I think), but I have no idea what to talk about. I check my email, hoping that someone will email me, but when they do it takes an act of God for me to answer them.
It is December and I have nothing planned. There are two parties at work for Xmas, but that is all I have planned before Xmas.
My therapist is encouraging me to get some exercise, which I am trying (somewhat successfully) to do. He also wants me reading something (both fiction and non-fiction) to "get out of myself" a bit. I am trying to do that, too.
I have only one more class before I get my Master's in May, and I'm looking for a job. There is a pretty interesting one open now, and I'd love to be working.
So I guess I'm posting because Babble is a safe place to take first steps...
(So why does this make me cry?)
Posted by Dinah on December 13, 2007, at 12:01:16
In reply to Anti-Social, posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 11:28:55
> (So why does this make me cry?)
Why do I suspect that somewhere inside you have an inkling of why? Life is hard sometimes.
Do you think that graduating both literally and metaphorically has something to do with it? For all graduations are exciting and full of future hopes, they always seem more melancholy to me. Maybe that's a reflection of who I am more than a general rule.
Are you worried that once your new life starts, you might lose some of your old life? Like your therapist? It doesn't have to be that way.
(((Falls)))
I may be totally off base. Somehow my therapist saying that it's ok to grow without growing up makes me feel better. If it applies, I offer it to you.
Posted by Phillipa on December 13, 2007, at 12:39:25
In reply to Re: Anti-Social » fallsfall, posted by Dinah on December 13, 2007, at 12:01:16
Excellent post Dinah agree whole heartedly. Fear of the future plays into this too I feel. Phillipa
Posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 15:03:18
In reply to Re: Anti-Social » Dinah, posted by Phillipa on December 13, 2007, at 12:39:25
Hi Phillipa,
Why do you think it is fear of the future? I guess the future seems brighter than the present, but maybe I have blinders on?
Thanks,
Falls
Posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 15:35:26
In reply to Re: Anti-Social » fallsfall, posted by Dinah on December 13, 2007, at 12:01:16
I'm really not afraid of losing my therapist. We cut back to 2/week, and it really does seem fine. I know he is there as long as I want him to be.
I'm really not afraid of the future. The future looks better to me than the present. I've had a bit of senioritis this semester. I'm ready to be done with school and get on with my life. I'm really looking forward to working, and to the added structure that will bring.
The issue seems to be more around lack of energy and a significant lack of interest. I think that is why it is hard to talk to people. I'm not particularly interested in what they have to say and can't imagine that I could say anything that would be interesting to them.
Thanks for your post, Dinah.
Posted by antigua3 on December 13, 2007, at 16:22:18
In reply to Anti-Social, posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 11:28:55
Sounds like a tad bit of depression to me, no matter what the reason. But what do I know? I know what you mean, though, about not finding it interesting what other people have to say sometimes. For me, it's like, "get on with it; is that all you have to say?" I'm not very patient...
Are your kids coming home for the holidays?
antigua
Posted by Dinah on December 13, 2007, at 16:49:51
In reply to Re: Anti-Social » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 15:35:26
Ah well, as I said...
:)
I think it's in my nature to fear even good change. So any change of life event, no matter how joyous, brings forth reflection and regret. I swear when I got married, half of me was feeling sorry that I was going to lose being part of my family. Mind you, once I was married a week or two, I began to see that as something I should have done years before. lol.
But certainly I don't think I'm the norm in that intense fear of change.
It does sound a bit like depression. What does your therapist think?
Posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 17:55:30
In reply to Re: Anti-Social, posted by antigua3 on December 13, 2007, at 16:22:18
Yeah, it feels like depression, too. But I'm supposed to be doing so well...
I'll have two kids for our Xmas celebration on 12/29, and two different kids for New Years. Well, the oldest will be here for both, I only have 3 kids. But it looks like they won't all be in one place at one time - sigh.
Posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 17:58:22
In reply to Re: Anti-Social » fallsfall, posted by Dinah on December 13, 2007, at 16:49:51
He is hesitant to call it "depression", but he doesn't argue when I call it that. He did talk a little about maybe adding a med to give me more energy, but we agreed that we would rather try exercise first.
But then again, my anti-social streak has been going on longer than this current "depression". I guess being social is something I need to add to my list of skills. Oh, joy.
Posted by llurpsienoodle on December 13, 2007, at 18:19:43
In reply to Re: Anti-Social » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 17:58:22
I think you're too hard on yourself. You have a LOT to offer in a conversation. You are fun and kind and caring, and that comes through very strongly in the impression that you make on people.
That's a distortion if I ever saw one--- "why would people want to talk to me?" instead of "why WOULdn't people want to talk to me"...
okay okay, so maybe it's not the full-on attack of depression, but it is clinically significant if it causes impairment in your social functioning.
You didn't mention if you're feeling lonely (or maybe I missed it?). I think it's okay to focus more on yourself at times and be introverted, just as long as it's not withdrawal...
I'm sorry, my brain is broken today. I just spent 9 hours in the car for nothing. )))winter weather(((
-Ll
Posted by DAisym on December 13, 2007, at 18:51:45
In reply to Anti-Social, posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 11:28:55
Here is a cyber-hanky...not that the tears aren't fine.
I think it sounds a bit like depression also, but I also think there is the realization that while you feel anti-social, the only way to stop being anti-social is to push through when you don't want to. And that is really hard and sometimes overwhelming. And it must be lonely to be so anti-social...
I imagine interviewing, or thinking about interviewing and working again must be at least a little anxiety provoking. I bet it will feel good to have the structure of a job and those social contacts. And I think it is pretty normal to withdraw a little after working so hard, both this semester and on your program. It is so great that you are almost done!
Is there a Christmas tradition that you want to do but haven't scheduled yet? That could be a great way to get into the spirit of things.
Hugs,
Daisy
Posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 20:10:27
In reply to Re: Anti-Social » fallsfall, posted by llurpsienoodle on December 13, 2007, at 18:19:43
Thanks, Llurpsie.
I think it is withdrawal, and I need to unwithdraw. But that is easier said than done.
Posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 20:30:17
In reply to Re: Anti-Social, posted by DAisym on December 13, 2007, at 18:51:45
Yeah, some of it is that I do realize that the only way to "fix" things is to do a lot of work that I don't want to do. I just wish that I didn't have such an aversion to it.
Maybe I can find someone to go to a Messiah Sing with me... Thanks for the encouragement.
Falls
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 13, 2007, at 22:21:28
In reply to Re: Anti-Social » DAisym, posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 20:30:17
Hey Lady!
I haven't been around here, except for an occasional peek for a while, but while some things are going great, I seem to have a new reason to visit. That aside, I came across your post.Here's what I know:
You have LOTS of people who love you and care very much about what you have to say, and who LOVE to spend time with you on the telephone or in person.You have many people who ask about you and want to know how you are doing.
You have many people who think very highly of you as a person who is smart, trustworthy, dedicated and wise.
I think that feelings aren't truth. Feelings are reactions, to what's going on outside, or to how our brain happens to be working at the time. Hopefully, we can counter the feelings with what we can find with reason to be objective truth.
A lack of enthusiasm on the telephone doesn't mean that people shouldn't want to talk to you, or that you have little to offer.
Posted by zenhussy on December 13, 2007, at 23:04:18
In reply to Re: Anti-Social, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 13, 2007, at 22:21:28
you're our role model Ms ICQ!! sounds like a touch of depression hanging over the usual life stuff. be really good to you while you're struggling w/ not feeling social. you'll find a workable balance that feels right for you.
off topic--hello to Dee!
Posted by Raindancer on December 14, 2007, at 17:32:40
In reply to Anti-Social, posted by fallsfall on December 13, 2007, at 11:28:55
Falls, just wanted you to know that I think you're great. I have always followed all your posts and feel really pleased when I see your name here. You always have something interesting and insightful to say and your posts are always thoughtful and kind. All the very best. You are in my thoughts. Rain.
Posted by fallsfall on December 15, 2007, at 13:35:09
In reply to Re: Anti-Social, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 13, 2007, at 22:21:28
Hi Dee,
Thanks. I know (on some level) that what you say is true. It is just that it is pretty uncomfortable in the moment. Somehow, that knowledge doesn't come through in the moment. Clearly, though, I'm trying to work on it.
It is interesting that after I did all these posts I went through an evening of pretty bad anxiety. Maybe I should remember "All things in moderation"
Posted by fallsfall on December 15, 2007, at 13:37:34
In reply to honoured to have followed your progress FF, posted by zenhussy on December 13, 2007, at 23:04:18
Hi Zen!!
Yeah. I really have made a lot of progress. Depression is still depression, though. And it stinks! I'm trying to fight it.
Posted by fallsfall on December 15, 2007, at 13:39:21
In reply to Re: Anti-Social » fallsfall, posted by Raindancer on December 14, 2007, at 17:32:40
Thanks, RainDancer. I kind of liked it when I did have useful things to say on Babble. These days I have much less patience than I did in the past, so I'm afraid my posts will not be helpful...
This is the end of the thread.
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