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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by I need a hug on November 9, 2007, at 14:39:14
Hi. This is the first time I've ever done anything like this but I don't know what else to do. I have totally withdrawn from the outside world. My two best friends have died in the past two years and seven family members have died this year alone. I have been seeing a wonderful psychiatrist for about 9 years. She has been treating me for major depression and anxiety. I'm 47, single and live alone. My problem is about 7 or 8 months ago I started having strong feelings toward my doctor. I wrote more about this on the relationship board but thought this might be a better place to get to know some people since I'm new to all of this. I don't know what to do about these feelings. I fantasize about her constantly. I want to take her in my arms and tell her how I feel but I know I can't do this. She is a wonderful doctor and I would never do anything to jeopardize our doctor-patient relationship and I know ,realistically, that is all it ever can and will be. Can anyone help me? How can I stop these thoughts? I'm on disability so I'm home all the time. I have a lot of health problems on top of the mental ones. I have a condition called fibromyalgia. It's main characteristics are chonic pain, chronic fatigue and insomnia. Therefore, I don't sleep well. It also affects your ability to concentrate. I used to read a lot but I can no longer do that. Between not sleeping and not concentrating, I can't find other things to keep my mind occupied, so all I so is think of her. Well, I've rambled on long enough but I feel better just putting my thoughts in to words. I hope I will be able to offer as well as receive help from these boards. I would like to pass something along to you that I read years ago. It's a suggestion I've tried to live by. "God gave us two ears but he only gave us one mouth. Perhaps, that was his way of telling us we should listen twice as much as we speak." Thanks for listening.
Posted by TherapyGirl on November 9, 2007, at 20:26:07
In reply to I can't stop this feeling..., posted by I need a hug on November 9, 2007, at 14:39:14
I wish I knew what would help, Hug. I know I go in and out of periods like that with my T -- the attachment is just so strong, particularly when other things are not going well.
Do you have any opportunity to get out and about with people? Are you well enough to volunteer somewhere? How about movies? I'm just trying to think of anything that would at least give you a break from the thoughts.
I know it's hard. I'll be thinking of you.
Posted by I need a hug on November 9, 2007, at 23:49:12
In reply to Re: I can't stop this feeling... » I need a hug, posted by TherapyGirl on November 9, 2007, at 20:26:07
TG,
Thanks for thinking of me. I live in the northeast and when the weather changes my pain increases and then my depression increases. Then, I don't leave my house unless I absolutely have to because the cold air causes me to ache all over. The people that have died were pretty much the people I socialized with. My family visits but when I'm depressed and in pain, I really don't want anyone around. I used to be the "life of the party" but now I'm the total opposite. I'm on disability due to the major depressive disorder and anxiety and with the fibromyalgia, it messes up my sleep, memory, concentration, speech, thyroid and I don't know what else! Throw in all the meds and I have no idea how I can even remember my name! I'm so lucky I have the wonderful T I have. I also have a good PCP and neurologist but if if I hadn't had my T these past 9 years, I would have checked out a long time ago. Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble on like this. My T called me at home on Thursday and she's calling me again on Monday or Tuesday (which she's never done before) to talk about changing my meds so I'll be o.k. I always am.
So...what about you? How are you doing? How is your "little guy?" Are you still taking the ativan? Thanks for your suggestions and your support and you have my support always. HUGS
Posted by Daisym on November 10, 2007, at 0:14:19
In reply to Re: I can't stop this feeling..., posted by I need a hug on November 9, 2007, at 23:49:12
I don't think there is anything to really be done with these feelings except talk them through with your therapist. I think you've been through so much, it makes sense that you'd be worried about losing this very important person too. And these feelings of need often present in ways that feel sexual.
Have you told her about your feelings?
I'm glad she is keeping in contact. I find this really helps me when I'm feeling scared or overwhelmed.
Posted by I need a hug on November 10, 2007, at 4:00:10
In reply to Re: I can't stop this feeling..., posted by Daisym on November 10, 2007, at 0:14:19
Daisym,
I have an earlier thread on this board: I've fallen in love with my psychiatrist.(Archived 10/22/07). It will tell you a little bit more. This thread was just moved here from another board because I was hoping it would get more of a response. Just reading what many Babblers have posted has done a lot to put my mind at ease. I now know that I am not alone in having these feelings for my doctor. I have followed your posts(threads) and a number of others and I have learned a lot just by reading them. I think I have come to the conclusion that what I am feeling is love for her rather than being, "In love" with her. Having lost so many loved ones in such a short period of time and losing touch with my T at the same time, I was an emotional wreck. Now that I'm getting through the grief and I've calmed down a bit, I'm able to see things more clearly now and for that I have to say, "Thanks Babblers!" Your willingness to share your triumphs and tragedies with others got me through one of the worst times of my life. You are all very special people. HUGS
This is the end of the thread.
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