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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on September 23, 2007, at 12:19:53
He freaks out with even mild cutting, but he seems to be fairly comfortable with other self destructive behaviors that will cause me more harm in the long run.
I know I've discussed this before, but I find it so frustrating. Thursday I went on a series of binges that successfully got me out of the emotional overload I was on, but that was very bad for me in other ways. I got no work done, I spent too much money, and I culminated in a food binge that left me in really bad shape physically. I'm just now recovering. I was so sick Friday morning that my husband stayed home in case I needed to go to the doctor's.
What he said was that I should return as much as I can, and consider it a mental health day.
This is irritating to me. I identified something I was doing that I knew was harmful to me, and I knew while I was doing that it was harmful to me, and yet I couldn't stop. I have the insight, which I didn't always have, but I need to use that to stop the behaviors.
Trouble is that the behaviors worked. My Risperdal had quit working. But these behaviors worked.
He did say something about needing to realize I could live through the pain, and not try to avoid it. T3 said that to me too.
I don't get it. Don't they realize that past a certain point, stimulation feeds on itself and snowballs? That yes, eventually my adrenaline system might wear out. But that takes time. I'd already been in this state for two weeks or so. How long am I supposed to live through it? Don't they realize that it gets to the point where you are just worn down and can't stand the physical sensations anymore?
I guess not. I suppose they'd say I can stand them.
Posted by Poet on September 23, 2007, at 13:10:22
In reply to My therapist concentrates on the wrong things, posted by Dinah on September 23, 2007, at 12:19:53
Hi Dinah,
My T has told me more than once that bingeing on food (and in my case purging) is self injury. I don't understand why your T freaks out over one form of self harm, but not bingeing on food until you're physically ill. I can see why you're frustrated.
I'm sorry your T isn't getting that returning as much as you can and calling it a mental health day is not the answer to your problem. I would think that he would want to talk about why your spending spree helped and nothing else did, but then again I'm not a T. Maybe hand him the bills and say, here, you pay for my mental health day. That might get his attention.
Poet
Posted by Dinah on September 23, 2007, at 13:49:46
In reply to Re: My therapist concentrates on the wrong things » Dinah, posted by Poet on September 23, 2007, at 13:10:22
I really don't get it either. My blood sugars have been skyrocketing after each meal since, and I feel awful. I'm not sure why. Maybe I insulted my pancreas and it's paying me back. My doctor doesn't seem that concerned.
But my therapist should be I think. I didn't know the effect would be as bad as it was, but I did know it would likely put me to sleep for a while.
And spending for mood alterating effects is VERY expensive, even if I do return stuff when I recognize what I've done.
I just don't get it. It's like he has some mental block. The uncharitable thought that he also spends and eats for mood altering purposes has entered my mind.
Posted by muffled on September 23, 2007, at 16:13:29
In reply to My therapist concentrates on the wrong things, posted by Dinah on September 23, 2007, at 12:19:53
>I don't get it. Don't they realize that past a certain point, stimulation feeds on itself and snowballs? That yes, eventually my adrenaline system might wear out. But that takes time. I'd already been in this state for two weeks or so. How long am I supposed to live through it? Don't they realize that it gets to the point where you are just worn down and can't stand the physical sensations anymore?
*((Dinah))
Sigh, I'm there too :-(
Hope you do ok.
M
Posted by Dinah on September 23, 2007, at 16:23:47
In reply to ((Dinah)) » Dinah, posted by muffled on September 23, 2007, at 16:13:29
I hope you feel better soon.
My debauch might have made me sick as can be, but it also stopped that cycle of adrenaline, despite the added burst my family added. Not that I'm recommending it. Debt and being sick is not a good alternative. But I hope you find your adrenal gland behaving itself soon.
And the puppy has settled back to being the sweetie he was when he came. I guess his prey drive is tamed, and he's given up his bid for pack leader. He's almost scarily good at the moment.
Posted by RealMe on September 23, 2007, at 23:57:41
In reply to My therapist concentrates on the wrong things, posted by Dinah on September 23, 2007, at 12:19:53
Dinah
How about taking what you wrote here to your next therapy, and if after reading what you wrote, he still doesn't get it, then I would want him to explain why is one thing so awful and the others are not.
I used to be a cutter and also 20 some years ago in hospital would bang my head so hard on the wall, I would have a goose egg and end up in restraints. So, yep there are things worse than cutting. I think I am very fortunate, though, as I never really used to scar and still hardly do even from surgeries. Can barely see the scars from surgery. So, unfortunately that is the down side of cutting--when you stop and no longer feel the need to cut, then hopefully you won't have to go around always wearing long sleeved shirts or long pants. What would he think if you started burning yourself with cigarettes. I used to do that too. God I guess I really was a mess back then.
Seriously, why not take your post to your doctor so he can see what is so upsetting to you.
RealMe
Posted by Daisym on September 24, 2007, at 1:51:09
In reply to My therapist concentrates on the wrong things, posted by Dinah on September 23, 2007, at 12:19:53
It might be that he has seen what happens without coping mechanisms and doesn't want to try and remove them without alternatives. And it does sound as if your maladaptive strategies worked, at a high cost, of course.
Perhaps you could ask for a brain storming session about alternatives. If you have a list of other things to try, that might help you stop the eating binges. I do know about the compulsion and once you are lost to it, it is very hard to get out of it.
I do find it intersting (and frustrating) when I tell him about a poor coping strategy (like drinking too much on occasion) that I get very little alarm response. I decided awhile ago that he thinks I'm too level headed to do any real damage.
Posted by Dinah on September 24, 2007, at 9:13:40
In reply to Re: My therapist concentrates on the wrong things » Dinah, posted by RealMe on September 23, 2007, at 23:57:41
My self injury has always been mild, and I've always thought my therapist overreacts to it.
Perhaps I haven't been really good at describing the extent of my spending problems. It's so hard to talk about that. I'm so ashamed. I've made it clear once or twice but his memory is not great.
Posted by Dinah on September 24, 2007, at 9:16:45
In reply to Re: My therapist concentrates on the wrong things, posted by Daisym on September 24, 2007, at 1:51:09
If my therapist thinks I'm too level headed to do harm, he's sadly mistaken. My fasting and post meal glucose levels are still way above normal for me. And my credit card debt is a problem again. I'll never get from under.
I do think that's his attitude, re coping mechanisms. I pleaded with him Friday to suggest alternatives, but he said he didn't have any to suggest. Well, nothing I haven't rejected many times. :)
Posted by RealMe on September 24, 2007, at 20:16:37
In reply to Re: My therapist concentrates on the wrong things » RealMe, posted by Dinah on September 24, 2007, at 9:13:40
Gosh; maybe your T does need something written down for him before it sinks in???? I don't know. You are the one best to judge that.
RealMe
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