![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 38. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 10:11:45
I just thought with all that's going on, we need a lighter thread here too. So here's one of those questions we used to do a lot more of in the past:
If you have a T, how does he/she dress? Suit and tie? Business casual? Really casual?
If you don't have a T, what would your ideal T dress like?
My T dresses extremely casually in the summer - shorts and a T-shirt, unless he's meeting a new client. During the school year and when meeting someone new, he wears khakis and a collared shirt. Nothing too dressy. I must admit I like it better when he wears khakis and it threw me the first time I saw him in shorts, but now I'm so attached he could show up in a bathing suit (as long as he had a shirt on too) and I would be fine.
sunnydays
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 12, 2007, at 10:34:36
In reply to ok, we need a light thread, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 10:11:45
Good idea, Sunny.
My T dresses what I call "older casual." Usually slacks and some type of top, with knee-highs and some kind of flats. In the winter, she usually wears either a pants suit or some kind of cardigan or sweater vest.
I (briefly) went to the same church as her and I was always surprised to see her *really* dressed up -- like there was this whole dressy side of her that I never saw. It's weird, isn't it?
Can we also talk about what they drive? This occurred to me the other day when someone (I think it was 'Doo) mentioned their T driving a Crown Vic. Do you mind if we tack it on to this thread or should I open a second one?
Posted by Abby Cunningham on August 12, 2007, at 10:50:31
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread » sunnydays, posted by TherapyGirl on August 12, 2007, at 10:34:36
My T dresses professionally, nice outfits which I would consider business-wear. She is always very neat and co-ordinated.
I have no idea what car she drives, as she is does not self-disclose much and I am too shy to ask her personal questions.
Abby
Posted by tofuemmy on August 12, 2007, at 11:18:12
In reply to ok, we need a light thread, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 10:11:45
Shorts? Good lord. If my T had shown up in shorts I would have had an on-the-spot orgasm. Thank goodness he never did.
em
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 12, 2007, at 11:40:01
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread » sunnydays, posted by tofuemmy on August 12, 2007, at 11:18:12
Posted by Poet on August 12, 2007, at 12:00:47
In reply to ok, we need a light thread, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 10:11:45
My T wears slacks and blouses. Same pair of sandals in warm weather, same pair of shoes in cold weather. Either she has many pairs of the exact same sandals/shoes or whatever brand she buys never wears out because I swear those sandals are the same ones she wore five years ago.
She drives a beat up Honda.
Poet
Posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 12:42:03
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread » sunnydays, posted by TherapyGirl on August 12, 2007, at 10:34:36
Go ahead and tack it on! I don't know what my current T drives - don't even know where he parks, because I'm at a big college. My old T drove a red Audi. My mom always said we were paying him too much if he could afford a car like that.
sunnydays
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 12, 2007, at 13:03:47
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread » TherapyGirl, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 12:42:03
Thanks, Sunny.
My T drives a Subaru Legacy -- that olive green color.
Posted by Wittgenstein on August 12, 2007, at 13:47:32
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread, posted by TherapyGirl on August 12, 2007, at 13:03:47
Thanks for this light post SD. I haven't posted here for absolutely ages, so this is a good way to get back into things gently.
There seems to be quite some variation in my T's dressing habits - sometimes a full suit, tie and waistcoat. Other times he wears corduroys and a jumper that I imagine his wife knitted for him. Not yet seen him in shorts although he's happily sported white socks and sandals - what a no no!
Last session, the first after 3 weeks he was wearing brown trousers, a long-sleeve white shirt with... wait for it... a bright red over-sized short-sleeve polo-shirt on top - I don't know what was going on there but I was just pleased to see him again so it didn't matter (I think he might have been doing some decorating or something as there were workmen wandering around in his back garden)!
I like it best when he's wearing one of his warm and cuddly jumpers. I'm not much of a formal dresser and casual makes me feel more comfortable.
As for his car. I don't think he owns a car - he rides a black city bike (in Holland it's not unusual just to have a bicycle - especially with the older generations).
Posted by vwoolf on August 12, 2007, at 14:06:32
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread, posted by Wittgenstein on August 12, 2007, at 13:47:32
Mine wears pretty bland stuff mostly, but very untidy - hems down, tears etc. Always cheap jeans or trousers, usually with Doc Martins or other boots. She clearly just doesn't care much about appearance. Her car is the same - battered, dirty, full of junk.
What am I doing with this woman, you may ask. I'm not sure. I've been seeing her for four years. But it's definitely not got anything to do with style.
Actually I love her lack of concern with appearances.
Posted by Tamar on August 12, 2007, at 14:07:03
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread, posted by Wittgenstein on August 12, 2007, at 13:47:32
My therapist does a good job of attempting to look smart, but he doesn’t always pull it off. He almost always wears dark blue trousers, a blue shirt with a tie, and grey socks with brown shoes. If it’s very hot he abandons the tie and rolls up his sleeves.
But he hardly ever polishes his shoes, his hair is usually a bit tousled, and he never seems to tie his tie properly: the front of the tie is usually backwards with the label showing. Sometimes the lowest button of his shirt comes undone and I can see an inch of hairy tummy. Frankly I like it, but it’s embarrassing because I find myself looking at it and then looking away, and then looking again, and looking away… and so on. And I’m sure he thinks I’m crotch-gazing. I should probably tell him about it but I have no idea how to phrase it!
Posted by RealMe on August 12, 2007, at 14:13:39
In reply to ok, we need a light thread, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 10:11:45
Yes. It seems that light threads are all that may be possible here from what I am seeing.
Posted by Tamar on August 12, 2007, at 14:28:43
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread, posted by Tamar on August 12, 2007, at 14:07:03
His car is tiny. It's the smallest car I've ever seen. But you know what they say about men who need to drive big cars... I'm assuming the converse is also true...
Posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 14:33:48
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread » sunnydays, posted by RealMe on August 12, 2007, at 14:13:39
I disagree, although you're certainly entitled to only post to light threads if you feel you need to. I think Babble has been a fairly safe place in the past for deep threads and still is. We all just have to take care of our privacy and make sure we show each other the respect of not disclosing private info we may have about them on the boards. The light thread is really just for everyone to take their minds off some of the heavier stuff that's been going on here and in our real lives, since lots of people have been struggling lately.
Take care,
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 15:01:33
In reply to ok, we need a light thread, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 10:11:45
Ok, here's a follow-up question for everyone:
Is there an item in your T's office that you have wondered/ been curious about?
In my T's office there's this feathered thing that I can't really see very well from where I sit on his bookcase. It kind of looks like a dead bird or something. Someday I'll get up the nerve to ask him what it is. My T has tons of interesting stuff in his office, but that and this rope thing that kind of looks like a tree in a circle that hangs behind my head are the two things I've always wondered about. He also has a leather drum on one wall that I wonder where he got - I imagine that he went somewhere exotic and got it, but that's probably not true, knowing my T.
sunnydays
Posted by annierose on August 12, 2007, at 15:13:59
In reply to follow-up question » sunnydays, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 15:01:33
My t (female) dresses mostly in business casual ... sometimes a tad more casual, sometimes a tad more business ... always appropriate. She is extremely fit and tiny so everything looks nice on her. I would like to update some of her clothes though.
Funny thing in her office ... hmmm ... not sure there is anything since I close my eyes but I would like to update the pictures in her waiting area.
Posted by JoniS on August 12, 2007, at 15:17:57
In reply to ok, we need a light thread, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 10:11:45
My T wears casual comfortable clothes. Usually button up shirts or golf shirts. Khaki pants or linen pants. Sandals a lot in summer. Sometimes boots cowboy or hiking in winter
Drives a Gold Honda Accord now, used to be a Ford Crown vic or something like that.
Love Tofuemmy's post - I'm right there too!
Posted by twinleaf on August 12, 2007, at 15:19:45
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread » RealMe, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 14:33:48
These highly educated people to whom we are entrusting our deepest secrets- and our hopes for better mental health- really do wear some hilarious things! I think Wittgenstein's is so funny: I know it's Holland, but I've never heard of a man wearing a jumper- not to mention some of his other combinations! And Tamar's with his buttons popping open- obviously no undershirts there!
My new T startled me at first by wearing sort of ragged chinos and casual short-sleeved shirts with stripes and plaids- unlike the first T who always wore grey dress trousers, a dress shirt, tie and jacket. I thought they were a bit loud, and the colors seemed to clash sometimes, but he did seem professionally dressed. On the days he taught, he wore either a grey or blue suit, and looked really nice then.
With my new T, I got up my courage to tell him that I was startled by how informally he dressed. I actually said that I was probably old-fashioned, and needed to get up to speed on what T's actually wear now. He told me that he was glad I had told him. THEN, he changed completely! Now, at least on the days I go, he is wearing the same dark grey suit, with a white shirt, but no tie. It seems like a sort of pretend dress-up- for me-and I have to admit that I'm a bit uneasy. I just keep reminding myself that it's my job to say my thoughts and feeling, but.....
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 12, 2007, at 15:38:17
In reply to follow-up question » sunnydays, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 15:01:33
My T has a little figure of an older woman sitting, with a book or something in her hands. She seems quiet and peaceful and reminds me of my T, who is not as old as the figure, and certainly wasn't in our early days. I can't remember when she added it, but it's been there since the early years. I've always assumed that another client gave it to her, but who knows? But when she retires, it is the one thing in her office I wish she would give to me.
Posted by Tamar on August 12, 2007, at 16:06:14
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread, posted by twinleaf on August 12, 2007, at 15:19:45
> I think Wittgenstein's is so funny: I know it's Holland, but I've never heard of a man wearing a jumper
I think maybe Wittgenstein's T's jumper is a sweater! Certainly in British English that's what jumper means.
Reminds me of the idea of a man going out wearing a vest with pants and suspenders. In the US he'd be quite well dressed, but in the UK he'd be arrested!
Posted by peddidle on August 12, 2007, at 16:12:24
In reply to Re: follow-up question, posted by annierose on August 12, 2007, at 15:13:59
> My t (female) dresses mostly in business casual ... sometimes a tad more casual, sometimes a tad more business ... always appropriate.
**My T dresses the same way. She always dresses well, but I actually prefer when she's dressed more casually-- it fits better with the casual way she sits in the chair. It also feels more comfortable for me because, since it's at school, I'm usually dressed casually.
I can also tell she's a big shoe person, like me. I think she has more pairs of shoes than I do. :)
Posted by caraher on August 12, 2007, at 16:53:23
In reply to oh, and his car..., posted by Tamar on August 12, 2007, at 14:28:43
> His car is tiny. It's the smallest car I've ever seen. But you know what they say about men who need to drive big cars... I'm assuming the converse is also true...
Oh yes, absolutely it's true... he gets much better fuel economy! ;)
Good to see you back!
Posted by twinleaf on August 12, 2007, at 17:02:36
In reply to translation?, posted by Tamar on August 12, 2007, at 16:06:14
Oh, O.K! I didn't know that- a sweater seems reasonable. I had this mental image of him dressed in trousers, with, basically, a dress over it! Thanks for setting me straight.
Posted by annierose on August 12, 2007, at 19:52:50
In reply to Re: follow-up question » annierose, posted by peddidle on August 12, 2007, at 16:12:24
I barely get a chance to see what my t wears on most days since I close my eyes during our sessions. But my t isn't a clothes-horse or a shoe person --- that much I know.
Posted by annierose on August 12, 2007, at 19:55:47
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread, posted by twinleaf on August 12, 2007, at 15:19:45
I agree Twinleaf ... if my t changed the manner of her dressed based on a comment I made during a session, I would want to back-peddle and say, "I didn't mind the chinos, it just took me awhile to get to used to it."
On the other hand, it is darling that he would want to accommodate your style preference.
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.