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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on July 31, 2007, at 9:58:41
safe place not working...am i doing it wrong?
i had a really bad dream last night....of abuser (at his age now) assaulting me violently. i'm kinda shaken by this. i keep imagining my safe place(SP) and that's fine but as soon as i try to do some work (and leave SP) the bad image and feelings come right back. is the SP only helpful when you can't do anything else BUT imagine yourself there?
luckily i see T this afternoon...heck maybe that's why the dream...but i also saw him this last weekend so that could be it too.
Anyway, it's tough to get any work done with this 'ickyness' around me.
i'm not Freaking like i did last time...it's not as severe but its still...well, lets just say its in the way! i have a lot to do and the harder i push the more it pops up so i'm trying to keep it at arms length...which really makes it hard to concentrate, but i can work a little.am i 'using' my safe place wrong?
b2c
Posted by slugdoo on July 31, 2007, at 10:15:48
In reply to using your Safe Place **triggers**, posted by B2chica on July 31, 2007, at 9:58:41
B2, has your T said you might have PTSD? I know dreams really used to trigger me, now I still get upset when I have dreams of the abuse, but I I am able to calm down and it doesn't effect my day like it did before.
(((((((B2))))))))) I don't know how to use my "safe place much because I just got one recently. I am glad you are going to see your T. Take care, I am thinking of you today.
Posted by B2chica on July 31, 2007, at 10:56:17
In reply to Re: using your Safe Place **triggers** » B2chica, posted by slugdoo on July 31, 2007, at 10:15:48
sorry...i actually laughed outloud when i read the first line...
yes with a capital Y on the PTSD.
infact that's the only consistent dx i've gotten from Every pdoc and every T that i've seen...well, i'm glad to hear that you have a safeplace sluggy! and when you figure out how it works (well) let me know! then we can go to our SP and spend a week there!
and thank you for thinking of me today...it makes me feel good to hear someone say that. it's too bad not everyone knows how difficult going to T is.tangent:
even for this session i told DH i wanted him to pick up little one from daycare so that i could get to session without worries and i wanted to get there early (this helps me 'prepare' for session and i wnated to finish reading book (-though i finished it early). at first he said fine...blah blah...well yesterday he informed me that i would have to pick up little one, take her home...wait for him to get there and that he would TRY to get there by 3 (my appt's at 3:30)...it's such cr@p, cuz i KNOW him...i bet $5 he won't get home till 3:20...he'll say, 'you can still get there on time!'
well, it was not acceptable. so i called my dad and he said he can come over and stay with little one from time i leave till time DH comes home....
Thank Goodness. but, i just wish i could rely on DH...
i mean i guess i've never have had anyone to count on before and i guess i should just stop expecting as much.
...it's just sad sometimes..
.i just dont see things i ask for to be that big of a deal, yet they are repeatedly denied.
what do i do wrong :(
Posted by muffled on July 31, 2007, at 12:32:50
In reply to Re: using your Safe Place **triggers**, posted by B2chica on July 31, 2007, at 10:56:17
ok B2 I am short on time, but what you need to do is put PART of you into the safe place.
I'm not saying you are DID, but that all of us have an 'inner child' and thats the part that gets most scared.
So if you can do a visualization of sending your inner child to the safe place, then it can stay there and be safe, while the adult you works.
Thats how I do it anyways.
Sometimes it owrks, sometimes it don't.
But thew only other thing I can think of is writing down and reading positive things, like :
I am safe
I am OK
I can take care of myself
etc
Take care,
this will pass
Muffled
Posted by B2chica on July 31, 2007, at 12:55:08
In reply to safe place » B2chica, posted by muffled on July 31, 2007, at 12:32:50
Thnx MUFFY!
that sounds good...i will give it a go!
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 31, 2007, at 13:40:03
In reply to Re: safe place, posted by B2chica on July 31, 2007, at 12:55:08
I borrow muffled's safe place sometimes...
Once, T and I did a guided visualization where there was a child and I was supposed to take care of her by feeding her and letting her be free and play. She lived on a beach secluded with high cliffs and warm white sand. She liked to run up into the tropical forest and sometimes she'd bring me a coconut and we'd hack it open and enjoy it together.
I think of her sometimes, with sadness. Did I take good care of her? Is she still doing okay? Am I feeding her well enough?
But I can still feel the warm sand and the bright sun on my face.
Posted by B2chica on July 31, 2007, at 13:59:59
In reply to Re: safe place » B2chica, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 31, 2007, at 13:40:03
lurpsie...that's beautiful.
thank you for telling me about your little one and how you take very good care of her.
with my former T i used to have my liitle one come out a lot, and it was such a struggle for me because the older me 'hated' the little one.
i still distance myself from her...i haven't quite reconnected with her...i know i need to...afterall i'm the only one thats' ever cared about her....cares to you Lurpsie
Posted by tofuemmy on July 31, 2007, at 16:14:12
In reply to Re: safe place » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by B2chica on July 31, 2007, at 13:59:59
For me, the safeplace stuff doesn't cut the mustard. The only thing that works is distraction....like REALLY stooooopid movies cranked up loud. Or calling a friend and asking about their life and focusing HARD on each word they utter. The safeplace stuff, for me, just makes me think about safe vs unsafe, and dorks me all up.
I need old SNL with Gilda Radner. She's saves me!
em
Posted by slugdoo on July 31, 2007, at 16:40:04
In reply to Re: using your Safe Place **triggers**, posted by B2chica on July 31, 2007, at 10:56:17
> sorry...i actually laughed outloud when i read the first line...
> yes with a capital Y on the PTSD.
> infact that's the only consistent dx i've gotten from Every pdoc and every T that i've seen...I hope you don't mind that I asked. It is just that when I read your stuff, it is like how I used to feel and react. It was just eye opening for me to see it in someone else. But I feel empathy for you because I KNOW how it feels. I used to think I was just going crazy or being too emotional or sensitive or something, but it really is a disorder, and I was surprised on the simularities.
But if it helps, if you can do the EMDR work, like I did, it made a huge difference. I know you are scared of it, it is scary to work with the hard stuff. But I ask you how much longer are you willing to live with the PTSD. To me the PTSD feels way worse than going through EMDR. EMDR is hard like PTSD, but it also has some control to it and it works quickly. I know everyone is different, but your posts just sound like me, and that is kinda freaky. ;-)
Posted by B2chica on August 1, 2007, at 12:07:32
In reply to Re: safe place, posted by tofuemmy on July 31, 2007, at 16:14:12
> I need old SNL with Gilda Radner. She's saves me!
hi em! haven't seen you here for a while.
..and i LOVED radner, she was the Best!ya i'm having difficulty with actively using it. i think the distraction is better for this too. ive been using music...hard and loud!
thnx
Posted by B2chica on August 1, 2007, at 12:25:58
In reply to Re: using your Safe Place **triggers**, posted by slugdoo on July 31, 2007, at 16:40:04
dont mind at all sluggy. as much as i've shared (in the past) with this bunch...dx is the least of what i'd admit to! LOL
i thought i was doing better since session yestterday...but today im getting increasing anxiety...and starting to get this "light" feeling...god i hope i dont dissociate here at work!!
i started to get a cold and i have little sleep so that could all be factoring in...interestingly i was at session, told T that i read book on EMDR ..but NEVER asked her if she did it??? am i a fr*gging idiot or What??
but i brought my music thi time...prepared...and she wanted me to go over a memory ...and i got "bottlenecked" and couldn't talk...i asked her if i could listen to music while talked, she though that was a fine idea....that way i could get it out without really having to hear myself say it....it worked well..some times i had to turn it up louder, sometimes softer...but it worked...i pretty much stayed present. but honestly, its like she was doing a bit of emdr...she asked me to focus on one memory....then i walkd her through it, then she had me describe surroundings, which i really liked...not sure why...then any feeling/emotions i had. the hardest part was reintroducing "the girl".
i didn't tell her but when the girl really truly came out she was talking to me (not me pretending to have her say things), my T was telling me what to say to her but i had both of them talking at the same time...it was kinda hard. she looked right at me and my T was telling me to let her go, and she yelled at me for making her go back...she said she hated me, why wasn't i listening to her...that even though i said 'i listen', that i'm just like everyone else...she was So mad at me. she disappeared.anyway...so was that kinda like emdr only without the light? or is that how most trauma sessions go?
my last T was great but i only 'got things out' we never talked about them...sorry so long...
thnx
b2c.
Posted by slugdoo on August 1, 2007, at 16:40:50
In reply to Re: using your Safe Place **triggers** » slugdoo, posted by B2chica on August 1, 2007, at 12:25:58
Wow B2, what an amazing session you had. I never heard of using music, that is such an awesome idea, and it worked for you.
I have to think more about your post, I have more I want to say, but I need to think more. Maybe your T was testing the waters with you? I have a good feeling about you B2, I think now is your time! ;-)
Posted by B2chica on August 2, 2007, at 8:41:38
In reply to Re: using your Safe Place » B2chica, posted by slugdoo on August 1, 2007, at 16:40:50
ya, music has ALWAYS been my saving grace...i remember on a couple of occasions when i was being assaulted that i dissociated into music, i started singing a song in my mind and stayed there till it was over. it REALLY saved me. sometimes when i hear the music, i 'make up' a video for it in my mind...that's what can take me away from 'here'.
i choose music to fit my mood, to help me get into a mood, or out of one.
it's life saver...literally.testing waters...you mean to see if emdr would work for me? gee, i never thought of that...i'm thinking more, if she does it herself...well, i might be up for it...
your encouraging me sluggy...thanks! i think i needed that.hope to hear more from you.
thnx
b2c.
Posted by OzLand on August 2, 2007, at 23:07:14
In reply to using your Safe Place **triggers**, posted by B2chica on July 31, 2007, at 9:58:41
Sorry this is happening to you now; I didn't realize you were having these issues now; so probably don't watch the Bergman films I mentioned, especially the first two. I don't think I should watch them now again myself.
Oz
Posted by B2chica on August 3, 2007, at 10:19:45
In reply to Re: using your Safe Place **triggers** » B2chica, posted by OzLand on August 2, 2007, at 23:07:14
thanks oz...it comes and goes...i see T next week again, i'll wait till after that and see how things are.
thank you for letting me know this!
This is the end of the thread.
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