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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 21:29:28
oh, this is dumb. just saw you posting and wondered if you were still here or not.
Posted by muffled on May 11, 2007, at 21:40:27
In reply to Hey muffled, are you still around?, posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 21:29:28
Posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 21:50:19
In reply to LOL not dumb! You never dumb! i here. (nm) » littleone, posted by muffled on May 11, 2007, at 21:40:27
you're here!!! happy happy snoopy dance. you'll never guess what i did with my t yesterday. I talked - for a whole session! it was amazing. except i'm having trouble finding words now cause I'm jsut too excited on the inside cause you're here.
Posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 22:01:37
In reply to Re: LOL not dumb! You never dumb! i here. » muffled, posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 21:50:19
my t showed me something so important. it floored me so much. I've always seen myself as bored and lonely. Especially when the 10 year old is around more. Bored and lonely is so big for her.
It is such hard constant work for me to find stuff to fill my time up and make sure I keep doing things so I don't fall back into depression and feeling unwell.
My T was showing me how full my life is. In fact how it is so much fuller than what he and most other people have. I fill so much into it. And he thinks that ... words have run out. Need to think some more.
Posted by muffled on May 11, 2007, at 22:07:49
In reply to Re: LOL not dumb! You never dumb! i here. » muffled, posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 21:50:19
Posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 22:10:25
In reply to Re: LOL not dumb! You never dumb! i here. » littleone, posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 22:01:37
> My T was showing me how full my life is. In fact how it is so much fuller than what he and most other people have. I fill so much into it. And he thinks that ... words have run out. Need to think some more.
I forget his words, getting all jumbled, but what it comes down to is that I have this great fear of being bored and lonely. And that I'm not really that bored and lonely, my life is very full. But the fear that's there is driving me on and on relentlessly and as soon as I'm idle I fall into the hole.
It amazes me because I've never seen myself as having a full life. I've always identified myself as bored and lonely. Even to just htink that maybe I'm not bored and lonely is just so mind blowing for me.
I know part of the fear is driven by being scared of falling back inot the depression pit and feeling unwell again. BUt I know a big part of the fear is to do with the 10 year old.
It's so funny because I think I'm doing so well learning to be on my own and accept solitude and stuff like that. Whereas my T thinks the big problem here is that I can't bear to just sit. Just sit and be with mysefl.
Posted by muffled on May 11, 2007, at 22:12:18
In reply to Re: LOL not dumb! You never dumb! i here. » littleone, posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 22:01:37
bout what you said, cuz i so exited for you too!!!
And I SO thrilled that you tell ME!!!!
That makes me so happy too :-)
So I am happy AND you are happy!
COOL!
Ha!
Muffled
Posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 22:13:34
In reply to Re: LOL not dumb! You never dumb! i here., posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 22:10:25
i'm glad you were here to tell that to. thanhk you for listening to me.
Posted by muffled on May 11, 2007, at 22:16:24
In reply to Re: LOL not dumb! You never dumb! i here., posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 22:10:25
LOL!!!!!
Dontcha just LOVE it when you allasudden just figger something and its like DUH! Its SO cool. And you can hear what they say and its GOOD, and it feels good, and it all feels good in many ways!
Who talked whole session, was it 10 yr old?!
WOW.
I barely never talk, never little ones, just big ones to be safe is all.
I am happy for you.
Posted by muffled on May 11, 2007, at 22:18:43
In reply to Re: LOL not dumb! You never dumb! i here., posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 22:13:34
Posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 22:28:06
In reply to Yay! » littleone, posted by muffled on May 11, 2007, at 22:16:24
> LOL!!!!!
> Dontcha just LOVE it when you allasudden just figger something and its like DUH! Its SO cool. And you can hear what they say and its GOOD, and it feels good, and it all feels good in many ways!yes yes yes! so much to think about. lots of stuff rocking inside.
> Who talked whole session, was it 10 yr old?!
> WOW.
> I barely never talk, never little ones, just big ones to be safe is all.I don't know who was talking! I'm doing better at accepting them, but I still have a lot of trouble identifying my parts. I'm pretty sure one of the 10 year olds were there at one stage. It was very very hard to start the talking. i wrote out some stuff with some questions but i forgot what i wrote and my t wasn't helping me. but we did some improtatn tatlking anyway. it was good.
> I am happy for you.
i knew you would be nice and understand and be happy for me. thank you for being you.
i'm just starting to understand how important it is to tell our stories to people who will really listen to us and show us that they understand our stories. Which is good for me and helps me move forward, but it's also sad for me to see how bad my mum is at this. I'm glad I had someone to tell my story to muffled.
Posted by muffled on May 11, 2007, at 22:52:27
In reply to Re: Yay!, posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 22:28:06
I may have to start talking too!
I had a session where, mebbe, it was rational adult me was there AND a kid, cuz T was talking bout streams and damming them (analogy), and kid was flipping out with delight to be talking bout water(well *T* was talking!) and adult me was just trying to shoulder past kid to hear what T was saying!!! It was kinda funny really. Like it was so real the jostling to hear T !?!
But my T don't notice any difference I don't think cuz we speak very little and rarely look at her, and sometimes we peek and if she looking we flinch and T say "I'm NOT looking!". She so funny.
Glad you doing good work LO.
Always nice to hear from you.
Muffled
Posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 23:23:15
In reply to I am thrilled and honored by your trust LO » littleone, posted by muffled on May 11, 2007, at 22:52:27
> I may have to start talking too!
It was so hard. And at the end my t kind of took it as a given that i'd be talking from now on forever and it freaked me out, but he was only joking with me and said i could keep writing as a back up. and i forgot to tell you that i read out my written stuff maybe 2 weeks ago. which was big big stuff. just did it a few times, was too chicken other times, but htat was a good thing too.
> I had a session where, mebbe, it was rational adult me was there AND a kid, cuz T was talking bout streams and damming them (analogy), and kid was flipping out with delight to be talking bout water(well *T* was talking!) and adult me was just trying to shoulder past kid to hear what T was saying!!! It was kinda funny really. Like it was so real the jostling to hear T !?!
I know exactly what you mean. Even now I want to talk about this, but I just feel the young part bubbling up inside and excited over the dams. What dams? Did you build one? They are so much fun to build. Don't let the water get out. And on and on and on. It was just an analogy!
> But my T don't notice any difference I don't think cuz we speak very little and rarely look at her, and sometimes we peek and if she looking we flinch and T say "I'm NOT looking!". She so funny.
Ha! She WAS looking! You busted her looking!
This is the end of the thread.
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