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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by susan47 on April 29, 2007, at 19:51:43
You. Hey you. I noticed, behind Your voice, the music ends exactly when you do, but exactly. Unless I'm hallucinating. I don't think I am, and I wonder why. Why on earth would the music end with your voice? Was it planned that way, or am I hallucinating all of this?
I must be very, very sick. Very ill, to believe there would be Any Manipulation at all. Because I have to believe in the only thing that matters. Is the big universal word that shouldn't have ever gone outoffashion baby, outofstyle. Out of style.
Out.
She's crazy, she's nuts, she's Susan47 and she is here to Stay!
Sorry, so sorry. I just feel that way, you know?
Posted by Phillipa on April 29, 2007, at 20:05:02
In reply to Hey., posted by susan47 on April 29, 2007, at 19:51:43
Whose voice? Love Phillipa
Posted by susan47 on May 3, 2007, at 0:37:54
In reply to Re: Hey. » susan47, posted by Phillipa on April 29, 2007, at 20:05:02
Same as always.
Posted by susan47 on May 8, 2007, at 20:46:01
In reply to Who do you think? » Phillipa, posted by susan47 on May 3, 2007, at 0:37:54
...the derision in it, of who I was, who I am, and what he had to do and think and feel to be who he is today, and I hope I was imagining it, but the possibility is very strong, you know, that this so just so, that the derision is truly there. And the music has to do with ending the dance.
The dance has to be over. The fat lady must have sung, and I missed it. I missed it.
Posted by susan47 on May 8, 2007, at 21:16:51
In reply to Listening to it, today, and I heard, posted by susan47 on May 8, 2007, at 20:46:01
Thoughts fly in and out of my head, in and out inandout in, and out ... and in again, my dear, oh yes, ohmigod oh my god oh my God, Omigodomigod .. god of my sex, god of my heart, I love you now let's not ever part ... hah.
I miss him so much, imisshimso .. so very, very much .. Much, much is to be made of this isitnot, is it not, is it not, my dear? Not? Not .. what's that, not?
Whatnot.
My whatnot. Yours.
Your .. sex.
Your sex is so lovely, my dear.
I love you.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Ah.
Hah.
Posted by susan47 on May 8, 2007, at 21:19:59
In reply to Re: Listening to it, today, and I heard, posted by susan47 on May 8, 2007, at 21:16:51
And what a muse you are.
Amuse...amuse, a muse, a-muss,
A muss, my dress is a muss-up ...
what a muss,
What a fuss, my dear.
Oh dear.
This is fun, so much fun,
I am not allowed to have so much fun,
when there is not much fun to be had,
when not in the land of the sun.
The sun.
I WANT, want, want the sun,
Sun on my skin,
naked and bare, bare to there,
dear.
Bare to there. Bare a body,
bare a soul.
A soul laid bare.
Oi.
Posted by susan47 on May 8, 2007, at 21:28:30
In reply to Re: Muse, my muse, you are my Muse, my dear, posted by susan47 on May 8, 2007, at 21:19:59
You know, I think there's truly a stage that's probably necessary in a girl's life when she has to have this idolic worship of a love greater than herself, you know, the state where love is larger than life, and you have this immense Crush on someone .. and that's meant to make us feel good, you know? And I think maybe if we don't get heard or satisfied when we're really actually In Love for the first real time, if there's no good conclusion whereby we get to feel good, then I think it's quite possible that we need to re-explore that stage until we get it Right. I think maybe Therapy is trying to fill that role when maybe it's not aware .. I mean, the T doesn't know what's really going on and that s/he needs to remain unstuck for their client's sake .. why did I DO this? Why me? I thought I was kind of semi-normal. Then I go and blow my cover, but Good.
Sometimes it's just too fr*gging much to stand, you know. You know? I need to talk to somebody about this, I need to resolve, R-e-s-o-l-v-e this in a good way. In a way that's moving me forward feeling good about the next stage of life, which is turning out to be absolutely Immense and Grand in Scope.
Baby.
I know.
It's the drug. The Drug.
I know.
I know how this all sounds, how it looks.
I've been honest from the very beginning, even in my rantings and ravings ...
and I still have the urge to say, Stuff it where the Sun don't shine,
Sunshine.
Posted by susan47 on May 8, 2007, at 21:30:43
In reply to An odd request, I have a strange request,, posted by susan47 on May 8, 2007, at 21:28:30
that i love the Idea of You, because I know this person exists somewhere in this world, for me, because I was capable of these immensely Good feelings.
Oh god, this is so fr*gging hard, and you sit there and ignore me as though I don't even exist.
Posted by susan47 on May 11, 2007, at 19:39:06
In reply to Although I do Have to Say, posted by susan47 on May 8, 2007, at 21:30:43
I'm listening and I hear the marbles in his mouth, you know, it's a kind of a not-enunciating-well, chewing on his words as they're coming out of his mouth kind of feeling sound. Not quite honest; very rehearsed. Not relaxed but tryingtobe .. trying to be that, trying to be Just So, trying to be himself, and notgettinganyofit, not getting any of it completely right, and knowing it as it's happening but not able to stop it. And it's the best effort, and anything else would just look .. suspicious. So much suspicion.
So much is suspect.
So much pain to be sustained,
pain
to be ..
sustained, as I was,
as I was held together with telephone wire,
cable and cord,
plastic and silicone,
metal and functional ..
functional,
fully functional ...
even better than you could imagine,
and worse, too.
Much, much worse ...
So much to suspect.
So much to fear.
What utter and unbelievable Crap
we have been programmed to believe,
forced to live,
thanks to Those Who Live Best at the Bottom of the Sea (and NO, you stupid *ss, that is NOT a metaphor for harming anyone IRL, god damn it, what is the MATTER with all you poor lost souls who would even GO there, to such a place, such an utterly Sick place we have been trained to be. It's what makes the aftermath of 9/11 possible, it's exactly the same kind of sickness.
Relax.
Breathe deeply, and count down ...
Bliss is always just around the corner.
It's a matter of choice.
It's a matter .. of choosing.
What does anyone want in life? What is the one thing we all desire to have, come whatever, the thing that allows us to go to our graves happy and replete with the life we have lived.
Posted by susan47 on May 24, 2007, at 19:39:51
In reply to Re: Although I do Have to Say, posted by susan47 on May 11, 2007, at 19:39:06
I'm sorry, I broke the 3-Post Rule.
This is the end of the thread.
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