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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pegasus on April 9, 2007, at 12:46:54
Just wanted to share a good therapist story. I got a great card from my T in the mail on Friday! She's so sweet!
We've been working on a big life transition for me lately, and I was feeling kinda down in my session on Thursday. We were talking about how I know this is a good change for me, and I'm excited about it, etc. but I feel like I have to drag my ego along behind me to make the change.
I had a thought about that after our session, so I emailed it to her, and she wrote right back saying that she was glad I sent her my thought so I wouldn't forget it. Then Friday I got a card about it, where she said the sentiment in the card made her think about my situation. She suggested in the card that I think about creating a ritual to mark this transition in my life. Maybe we could do one together in her office. I'm not going to see her for 3 weeks, because of her vacation, and she wanted to mention this sooner, rather than waiting until then. How sweet!
There really are good Ts out there. If only I was more attached to this one, and less to my ex-T from 3 years ago!
peg
Posted by Poet on April 9, 2007, at 17:53:46
In reply to Lovely card from my T, posted by pegasus on April 9, 2007, at 12:46:54
Hi Peg,
There are definitely some good Ts out there, including yours and mine.
I'm glad I've only had one T, I have enough trouble allowing myself to be attached to her, I don't know how I would have managed attaching to her and detaching from another T. That must really be tough.
What kind of ritual are you thinking of doing to mark the transition?
Poet
Posted by Dinah on April 9, 2007, at 17:54:47
In reply to Lovely card from my T, posted by pegasus on April 9, 2007, at 12:46:54
Posted by Happyflower on April 10, 2007, at 8:54:16
In reply to Lovely card from my T, posted by pegasus on April 9, 2007, at 12:46:54
You have such a sweet T!!! I would love to hear more about the transition you are talking about, but understand if it is too personal and can't talk about it. It is nice when we feel cared about, doesn't it?
Posted by pegasus on April 10, 2007, at 10:36:41
In reply to Re: Lovely card from my T » pegasus, posted by Poet on April 9, 2007, at 17:53:46
Hi Poet. Yeah, it was tough trying to detach from the old T. And in fact, I have not. I still email him from time to time, and I'm having a session with him over the phone this Friday. Still trying to work out anger and betrayal over his moving away and nature of our termination work. It totally sucks, and I'm glad you haven't had to do it. I truly wish I'd found my current T first.
I'm not sure what kind of ritual I'll do. But I think I will do one. Any ideas are most welcome. Part of me feels like I need to include more people than just her. Maybe my husband needs to be there. This all affects him so much, too. I need some kind of death and renewal type ritual, because the death part of this is what's hanging me up right now.
Thanks for your interest. You are right that "detaching" and reattaching are hard, if they're even possible.
peg
Posted by pegasus on April 10, 2007, at 10:41:39
In reply to Re: Lovely card from my T, posted by Happyflower on April 10, 2007, at 8:54:16
Hi Happyflower,
I've always followed your threads, although rarely posted to you. So it's nice to have a chance to say hi directly. I don't get to post as much as I'd like, or read as much either. But I love what you have to say, and it's been great following your path through therapy.
My transition is a career transition. I'm moving from a corporate management type career to a counseling career. I have about a year left in my grad school program (starting my internship this fall, and pretty terrified about being let loose on the community). I just took a big step down the corporate ladder at work, so I'd have a more flexible schedule as I finish my grad program. No one at work knows about my other "career", so they think I've just been demoted or given up or something. It's hard on my ego. Even though I actually love the new job, and find it more fulfilling and fun than the old one anyway. Those egos are so ornery sometimes. Can't recognize a good thing when it's right in front of them. :)
peg
Posted by gazo on April 10, 2007, at 18:06:20
In reply to Lovely card from my T, posted by pegasus on April 9, 2007, at 12:46:54
i got a card once from my pdoc on a sad occasion. i still have it years later. it meant an awful lot. stuff always does when it is done because they wanted to and not because they had to.
i'm glad she did this for you and that it made you feel so good
Posted by pegasus on April 11, 2007, at 9:18:44
In reply to Re: Lovely card from my T, posted by gazo on April 10, 2007, at 18:06:20
Yes, exactly. It's the doing something that she didn't have to do that is meaningful, isn't it. I'm glad you have that card from your old pdoc, too.
peg
Posted by Daisym on April 16, 2007, at 20:56:21
In reply to Lovely card from my T, posted by pegasus on April 9, 2007, at 12:46:54
I just wanted you to know that this made me smile when I read it. Isn't she wonderful?
I'm curious if you hesitated at all to post this. A few times when I posted about my therapist checking in with me, the reactions included folks who were worried about the fact that he didn't wait/insist that I initiate every interaction.
I would treasure the card as I'm sure you do. And as far as the attachment, maybe we can only imprint once...but appreciate and love many times. Just a thought.
Hugs,
Daisy
Posted by pegasus on April 17, 2007, at 8:53:26
In reply to Re: Lovely card from my T » pegasus, posted by Daisym on April 16, 2007, at 20:56:21
Hi Daisy,
Hmm. No, I didn't hesitate for that reason. Really, did people not like the idea of a T checking in? I mean, I understand the notion of learning to ask for what you need (was that it?). But IMHO an occasional thoughtful gesture is going to do more good than harm.
I suppose it might be problematic if a pattern developed of me acting distraught to manipulate her into checking in. But I think most Ts should have the skills to identify when that's going on, and bring it into the sessions instead. Or was it some other concern?
The beautiful thing about this card, also, was that it wasn't really a check in. I wasn't distraught, just a little down. I wasn't upset about her absence. That's one benefit of not being especially attached. I was actually thinking that it would be good to save the money this month (although I've now blown it on two sessions with my ex-T).
Yes, I'm going to treasure that card for a long time. And thanks for reminding me that I can and do appreciate and love her, even as I feel more attached to my exT. She tells me that she feels like an adoptive parent with me, which is exactly how I feel with her. She's really a gem. :)
peg
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