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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower on April 9, 2007, at 16:55:00
I am so busy right now, but I had to post this, sorry it got kinda long.
Today I took my philosphy paper to the writing department at school for help. Well after a long wait, this one lady tried to help me, but I could tell she was uncomfortable with the content of the paper, but she helped me some with the grammer. Well then she passed me on to this guy to help with the content.
I told this guy that I am just not happy with my paper and I want to get an A, but I just don't think it is an A paper. Well he laughed and said that normally students that come into the writing center on their own, are usually wanted help with making a D paper at least a C. But he then told me the difference between an A paper and a B paper. Then he started to read my paper.
This guy started to say, wow, this is really good, etc. I was very surprised. He told me that I seem to be an advanced writer and asked me if I do creative writing. I said yes, some poetry, but I wouldn't call it a hobby. Well he said I had a talent for getting my feelings accross in my writing, something that really can't be taught in school.
I then asked him if he was an English comp prof or something, and he said, no, he tries to stay away from that department. Well he seemed to know what he was talking about, and he finally told me his name, and told me to google it sometime. Well I did, and this guy is a very published poet and creative writer! I was shocked that someone like that would like my writings and encourage me to do more of it. What a compliment! ;-)Well he told me a little about his life, and he has had a hard go of it too, like me. Well it got me thinking. I believe that since I had a lack of parenting, I didn't fall into conformism of my parents thinking and beliefs. I have had to learn to think for myself. Most of my childhood I was silenced, in my mariage I have been silenced to be a nice wifey poo.
Well I believe I have been too damn quiet my whole life. I am now talking about what I believe, and I am getting excellent feedback from teachers, my T ,and others in my everyday life. I don't know where this will take me, but I feel so empowered lately and inspired. I love to be creative in writing, painting, and music, I think I am finding my nitch.;-)
Anyways I plan on talking to my T about this and see what he says.
Posted by Honore on April 9, 2007, at 17:16:05
In reply to A postive trait from being a child abuse survior, posted by Happyflower on April 9, 2007, at 16:55:00
Congratulations, HF. That's a pretty terrific experience.
I'm so glad that this advisor was so impressed with your work. But it's true, you do express yourself in a compelling way.
It's great that you can see the strength that fighting for yourself represents. That's something that will always be there.
Honore
Posted by Dinah on April 9, 2007, at 18:27:10
In reply to A postive trait from being a child abuse survior, posted by Happyflower on April 9, 2007, at 16:55:00
That's great, Happyflower. Feeling competent and getting good feedback is so important to mental health, I think.
Posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 9, 2007, at 20:31:32
In reply to Re: A postive trait from being a child abuse survi » Happyflower, posted by Dinah on April 9, 2007, at 18:27:10
You're doing so well right now :)
There are other things that come from being a survivor too
survival instinct
independence
knowing how to please impossible people
and many others...
Posted by madeline on April 10, 2007, at 6:44:19
In reply to A postive trait from being a child abuse survior, posted by Happyflower on April 9, 2007, at 16:55:00
Well, you're darn right!
Because we had such bad parenting, once we are strong enough WE get a blank slate. WE get to re-write who we are.
School is GREAT for that, because you can have so many positive interactions with really smart, interesting people.
ENJOY!
Maddie
Posted by antigua on April 10, 2007, at 10:32:33
In reply to Re: A postive trait from being a child abuse survi » Dinah, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 9, 2007, at 20:31:32
I'd add:
being more sensitive and able to read other people better than most
the ability to be a much better parent (I think you said this)
resiliency
compassion
and a sense of hopefulness about life because we can't change what happened, but we can change how we view our lives and the world in general
antigua
Posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 10, 2007, at 11:08:33
In reply to Re: A postive trait from being a child abuse survi » PhytoEstrogen, posted by antigua on April 10, 2007, at 10:32:33
I keep thinking of things.
An active imagination (because sometimes fantasy was all that helped us trying to survive reality)
Sense of adventure
self reliance
self efficacy
those two tools with proper nurturing will allow one to create self-esteem (which is often difficult)
stunning beauty on the inside (and that shines through to the outside too, barring some terrible rash!)
-:P
Posted by Happyflower on April 10, 2007, at 12:26:12
In reply to Re: A postive trait from being a child abuse survi » antigua, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 10, 2007, at 11:08:33
It makes me feel so empowered lately, knowing that with all the crap I had to go through, that there were some positive stuff that still came through. Horray for bad parenting, LOL Just kidding.
Sometimes it is so hard to see the good stuff when the bad stuff was so intense. Thanks again everyone! :-) I think it is good that we remind ourselves from time to time.
Posted by scratchpad on April 11, 2007, at 13:00:58
In reply to Thanks everyone for all the positives added, posted by Happyflower on April 10, 2007, at 12:26:12
At first I couldn't even bring myself to read this thread, but I'm glad I got over myself.
My way of coping with child abuse has been to not have children of my own. Same with my sister. It's a drastic but effective way of stopping the cycle.
sp
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