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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 21, 2007, at 19:07:48
LOL, I say almost NOTHING!!!
She reads what I write and lays some cbt stuff my way.
What I write is the stuff I write trying to figger all the weird sh*t thats in my head.
I dunno who I am really, but I starting to figger it out.
Sometimes I say(in writing) nasty stuff to T to try and see if she gonna dump me.
Rarely I spew on paper some of the nasty stuff inside.
Mostly I figger she's an anchor for me if I go off my nut or something.
But I guess i'm safer and stuff.
Not doing as much dumb stuff.
Not sure WHAT a body is supposed to say really?
I'm confused.
I'm confused alot.
Posted by annierose on March 21, 2007, at 19:54:39
In reply to What DO people say in therapy?, posted by Iwillsurvive on March 21, 2007, at 19:07:48
Is your therapist back from vacation? I remember that she was going to be away for a long time.
Just try to say whatever comes to your mind. As adults we do tend to edit before speaking (at least we should most of the time). But in therapy, it works best if we share our feelings as they come up. Usually with our t's help, it will take us somewhere that needs attention.
I find it's always hard to get started. So I'll just say that and whatever pops into my head afterwards - even if it's random like "Oh I forgot to pack my son's lunch today ..."
Hang in there. It is hard. It's not easy for anyone.
Posted by Dinah on March 21, 2007, at 21:04:56
In reply to What DO people say in therapy?, posted by Iwillsurvive on March 21, 2007, at 19:07:48
Sometimes I start with something that's bothered me. When therapy is going very smoothly, I generally pick up with something we discussed the previous session that I've been thinking about.
Every once in a while I get tonguetied and ask him to ask me something. He used to ask me interesting things, but now he generally asks me how some relationship or another is going. Since they mostly go more or less the same, that's pretty dull.
Posted by 10derHeart on March 21, 2007, at 21:15:32
In reply to What DO people say in therapy?, posted by Iwillsurvive on March 21, 2007, at 19:07:48
>>What I write is the stuff I write trying to figger all the weird sh*t thats in my head
I think what you write is mostly what I say, too. I'm just more comfortable talking, which has come over time. Talking, writing, they still hear the words somehow and then see you and your body language, even if you're mostly quiet. Maybe she gets quite a bit from what you don't say and how you don't say it, if that makes sense?
Pretty much anything that comes into my head, unless something has happened that week that upset me, or unless he asks me something specific, which he does sometimes. Lots of times, him asking, and me disliking - maybe intensely - the question (or even just a tone of voice that triggers me) *is* what we end up talking about the rest of the time. I demand to know why he asked me that, accuse him of trying to hurt me, tell him I hate his dumb tone, then get all upset for being so rude as to think he would do anything mean on purpose, then he gets me to say what I'm feeling about all that...I usually do, or if not, cry a little and maybe try to say why I'm getting upset. Sounds all disjointed, but it somehow gets me somewhere.
It also sounds kinda weird and awful writing it out, but in there, it's not. He's very safe and good. We share a sense of humor between us too, and lately I've noticed a few times he can get me laughing while I have tears still on my face. It's really nice being that easy with someone.
Maybe it's not so much what you say. It's the saying. I mean, the process, and for you two, the faxes have become a vital, meaningful part of *your* process. Nothing wrong with that. And your walks - which I think are GREAT (I'm jealous!) - those are ways to communicate, too. My T. says, like some posters here have expressed in one way or another, that when there's trust and a solid relationship, and attachment in longer term therapy, the therapist really *is* the therapy. Scary in so many ways, but IMO, true.
You're doing fine, IWS. Keep doing it. She will be there for you and doesn't mind confusion, I'm sure. Heck, if T's wanted people who felt really clear on most things, they would be very lonley, broke t's, I think.
Posted by gazo on March 21, 2007, at 21:20:29
In reply to What DO people say in therapy?, posted by Iwillsurvive on March 21, 2007, at 19:07:48
haha... what you said is not funny.. but i'm laughing because i am dying trying to keep it all in until my session! My mind is spinning. Don't know exactly what will come out of my mouth cuz don't have a sense of trust.. I'm in a bind! I'm going to be bursting at the seams trying to figure out what can flow out and what to keep in... I don't want to spit out a bunch of stuff before i am ready either.
oh boy.
Posted by Poet on March 21, 2007, at 23:17:24
In reply to What DO people say in therapy?, posted by Iwillsurvive on March 21, 2007, at 19:07:48
Me: I am a fat, ugly, useless failure. T: Reframe that, Poet.
Poet
Posted by Dinah on March 21, 2007, at 23:30:26
In reply to Re: What DO people say in therapy? » Iwillsurvive, posted by Poet on March 21, 2007, at 23:17:24
I'm sorry Poet, but I can't help getting a mental image of the various ways I'd "reframe" my thought and make my therapist sorry he ever suggested it. :)
Of course, that's why I'm about to celebrate our 12th anniversary April 3.
Of course, you do realize that you didn't appear to be any of those things to me.
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 21, 2007, at 23:34:39
In reply to Re: What DO people say in therapy? » Poet, posted by Dinah on March 21, 2007, at 23:30:26
Posted by Poet on March 22, 2007, at 15:51:59
In reply to Re: What DO people say in therapy? » Poet, posted by Dinah on March 21, 2007, at 23:30:26
Hi Dinah,
I never seem to appear to be those things to others, except maybe job interviewers.
I have reframed what I say into worse things, then I get one of her looks. I hate that look.
Poet
Posted by peddidle on March 24, 2007, at 14:15:31
In reply to Re: What DO people say in therapy? » Iwillsurvive, posted by Poet on March 21, 2007, at 23:17:24
> Me: I am a fat, ugly, useless failure. T: Reframe that, Poet.
>
> PoetHahaha!!! Sorry, I'm not laughing at you, but because I can imagine my T saying something like that...not those exact words, but still.
For me, I don't really talk-- she says she feel's like she's constantly trying to pry me open, like she needs a sledgehammer or something.But when she actually gets me to answer a question, it often goes something like this:
Me: Um... yeah, sure, I guess. T: Wow, that was really convincing.
Posted by madeline on March 24, 2007, at 16:01:00
In reply to What DO people say in therapy?, posted by Iwillsurvive on March 21, 2007, at 19:07:48
Okay, for the first 2-3 years in therapy I didn't say much. We talked about the weather, my hobbies, my family some.
Then I started to get really frustrated with myself. I mean crap - I was paying the guy out the wazoo to just sit an blither about really unimportant things.
I said "self, it's time to fish or cut bait" So the next session I went in and just told him how frustated I was at not being able to talk.
He asked, okay what's on your mind. I just let loose.
He didn't leave, he didn't run out of the room screaming, he didn't say "my god you are really screwed up" or "Thank god I am nothing like YOU!"
He just listened - but I started doing something important too - I started listening to him.
It's been that way ever since.
Maddie
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 25, 2007, at 14:25:09
In reply to Re: What DO people say in therapy? » Iwillsurvive, posted by madeline on March 24, 2007, at 16:01:00
Posted by gazo on March 27, 2007, at 8:41:19
In reply to Re: What DO people say in therapy? » Iwillsurvive, posted by madeline on March 24, 2007, at 16:01:00
That is one of the most inspirational things i have ever read. What an awesome thing to do! i think it really shows the power we can have. You have tremendous courage.
>
> I said "self, it's time to fish or cut bait" So the next session I went in and just told him how frustated I was at not being able to talk.
>
> He asked, okay what's on your mind. I just let loose.
>
> He didn't leave, he didn't run out of the room screaming, he didn't say "my god you are really screwed up" or "Thank god I am nothing like YOU!"That is where i am at... waiting for that to happen :/
> He just listened - but I started doing something important too - I started listening to him.
>
> It's been that way ever since.
>
> Maddie
Posted by madeline on March 27, 2007, at 18:38:07
In reply to Re: What DO people say in therapy? » madeline, posted by gazo on March 27, 2007, at 8:41:19
Thanks gazo.
Yeah, I guess you would call it courage. It's soooo hard to make yourself vulnerable to another person.
It was scary, it was counter to everything I ever learned to do and it was (I felt) my last chance to reach for a life that I wanted.
A very very wise person (right here on babble) once told me that there are people here that have trod this path before and know the signposts along the way. Trust that there is a way out and reach for those signposts.
Letting yourself be open with people is one of those signposts. You can do that and stay on the path which leads to recovery.
I'm in the termination phase of therapy right now and ready to begin the independent phase of my recovery where I am walking that path on my own.
You will get here with me soon.
Stay strong and stay brave.Maddie
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