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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by toetapper on January 24, 2007, at 18:02:53
My husband and I are trying to find someone who can guide us through some CSA/PTSD/SI/ED-related issues that are really starting to affect our marriage, we've had 5 first sessions the last three weeks, here are the results:
#1. 25 min late, no apology or explanation, session ended 20 min later, full fee
#2. "Maybe what you need to do is get in touch with what sexually satisfies you and then simply communicate that to your husband, have you tried that?"
#3. "I'm really hoping to fill my Weds 4pm slot, if both of you are telling me you can only do 9am I have to wonder how committed you are to your marriage."
#4. "What I'm hearing you say is you aren't sure if you ever want to have sex again, if you're that unwilling to change I'm not sure how I can help you."
#5. "I could do a morning appointment but all my other clients are in the afternoon, but I could do a morning appointment it's just that I'd have to sit around for 4 hours until my next appointment, but I could do mornings, sure."
Unbelievably, all 5 of those were referrals!
We need someone who understands enough about CSA/PTSD and how that unfolds in an existing, long-term relationship, but also has some background in couples. Phillipa, I'm right there with you, I don't know who or what to ask...
Like so many others here I am so very close to the end of my rope, ANY ideas, thoughts, suggestions, reality checks, etc. are appreciated.
Posted by one woman cine on January 24, 2007, at 18:36:04
In reply to Me too (finding a new T) **triggers**, posted by toetapper on January 24, 2007, at 18:02:53
Keep looking - it takes alot of leg work & interviewing to find a keeper.
Anyone can pretty much hang a single on their door that says "therapist". But the good ones are out there.
Be a pain and be persistant, ask anyone your from your GP to your opthamologist. Be open minded, if the first appt. isn't horrible, try again - anyone can have a bad day. Whatever you do, don't lose hope.
Posted by muffled on January 25, 2007, at 0:10:44
In reply to Me too (finding a new T) **triggers**, posted by toetapper on January 24, 2007, at 18:02:53
:(
Weeeeeeeeeeellllllllll, #5 didn't sound completely hideous?
I was SO lucky, got a good T first try. Referred by my pastor. She is not perfect, but she is human, and the best thing of all bout my T is that she is gutsy and game to hear anything and try anything, and she truly wants to help people. Her other very good thing is that she is very careful bout what she says. She is very good bout not putting words in my ever so silent mouth. I have had my struggles w/her, but we have stuck it out and its good.
So I guess what I would say, is keep trying and if you click at all w/someone, mebbe they will be OK. I think versatility has been key w/me, and kindness, and patience and perseverence!
I think T was not so great at first, but it has evolved into something that works. It did take some time...
I remember reading posts bout people changing T's and wanting to dump my T, but being afraid too, cuz i didn't wanto have to look for a new one :( But now we OK.
I don't know what I am trying to say?
Mebbe keep trying cuz its good when you geta good one?
And guess wishing you guys best wishes to find one soon?
And mebbe pastoral T ? I sometimes feel the pastoral T's are sometimes more flexible?
Dunno.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by happykat on January 25, 2007, at 13:33:28
In reply to Me too (finding a new T) **triggers**, posted by toetapper on January 24, 2007, at 18:02:53
Hi toetapper,
Some therapists will do phone consults for free. That way you can at least ask them if they handle your issues ahead of time.
I don't know if you're in the US or not but if you are, psychology today has a search engine to find therapists in your area. It lists all their specialities, qualifications, what insurance they take etc... My neighbor found her t on there and is very happy. It may be worth a shot.
The link is:
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.phpor just google: "Psychology Today Therapist"
Good luck! :)
Regards,
happykat
Posted by Phillipa on January 27, 2007, at 22:29:54
In reply to Re: Me too (finding a new T) **triggers**, posted by happykat on January 25, 2007, at 13:33:28
Happycat was going to refer her to my thread for that link thanks, Love Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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