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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by annierose on January 23, 2007, at 20:42:00
When you arrive at your therapist's office, how do you let him/her know that you are there?
My t has a solo private practice - so there is only the waiting client in the waiting room (the client "in session" w/my t does not leave through that room so we don't see each other, unless of course the client decides to wait in the hallway, but that was another thread ...).
Anyway, once in the waiting room there is a doorbell to announce you have arrived. I HATE THAT DOORBELL. I never use it. My t realized early on that I don't use it and comes and gets me on time.
Today it became an issue. She was in the general office complex hallway, exiting from the bathroom and I was almost right behind her going to my session. I assumed she saw me, she didn't, and she went to get me, I wasn't there, but as one door shut, another opened (how could she not hear that?)... anyway, I sat and sat and sat waiting for her to get me. I finally realized she didn't know I arrived. So I pressed that darn "ding-dong" button.
It feels so intrusive. Even though I knew there was no client "in-session" since it was my time, I HATE IT. I told her today that I won't push it. She kindly requested that I would, "I like to know when you arrive so we don't have this happen." She did add the time to the end of my session.
I was still angry. And there isn't a reason to be. Hmmm.
Posted by TherapyGirl on January 23, 2007, at 20:58:42
In reply to Announcing yourself ..., posted by annierose on January 23, 2007, at 20:42:00
My T used to be in a regular office with the rest of her practice and there, I sat in a waiting room and she came and got me when it was time.
Now she's in the basement of a church (which I hate and which is also a whole 'nother thread). I refuse to go in through the front doors because then I can't pretend that her office is NOT in a church. So I walk along a sidewalk to the back of the building and she puts a booklet in the doorway to leave it cracked for me to come in when she's ready. If the booklet is not there, it means that she's still in session.
It hasn't been an issue until the past few weeks when she's gone over with the client before me (I recently changed times and I don't think she's had anyone before me in quite a while). So two weeks ago, she told me she thought it was too dark out there (it's not) and asked me to come in through the front. I looked at her and said, "Yes, but then I can't pretend that this isn't a church." She let it go.
Then last week, we got sleet, freezing rain, snow and then all rain. It was very cold and wet outside. So I called and left her a voice mail, asking her to call me on the cell when she was ready because I hadn't been able to time it right lately (I avoided saying it was because the person before me went over) and I didn't want to stand out in the rain. She did that and then when I got in the office, I made some crack about being a diva who couldn't get wet. She said that she thought this was the perfect solution -- it allowed her to feel better about me not waiting in the dark and allowed me to get out of the cold and/or rain. So I don't know what we'll do this week -- it's really not that dark and not a problem for me unless it's also wet.
It's all so complicated, isn't it?
Posted by caraher on January 23, 2007, at 21:08:32
In reply to Announcing yourself ..., posted by annierose on January 23, 2007, at 20:42:00
> Anyway, once in the waiting room there is a doorbell to announce you have arrived. I HATE THAT DOORBELL. I never use it. My t realized early on that I don't use it and comes and gets me on time.My old T had a button like a doorbell, but what it did was turn on a light in her office. This light was in a location that she would see but where I wouldn't really notice it unless I made a point of looking. Maybe your T could look into something like that. It's less obtrusive than a noise...
Posted by Honore on January 23, 2007, at 22:02:06
In reply to Announcing yourself ..., posted by annierose on January 23, 2007, at 20:42:00
That bell wouldn't appeal to me either, annierose.
My T has a setup like yours: a private practice, with a waiting room, office and exit separate from the entrance (using the same entryway from the street, but through different doors).
There's a bell at the front door, which you press (but can't hear, although it does ring, but it's a nice sound, actually), then he presses to ring a buzzer during which time you can open the door. (This is a common practice in lots of NY buildings, so it doesn't seem unique to him-- ) Then, you sit in the waiting room, and he comes to get you. His door is directly from the waiting room, so he also opens the door when he's available, if anyone is late. So if you come in late, his door is slightly ajar-- and you can go into the office on your own.
What's your T's office like, that she needs you to ring a bell-- why can't you go to her door and knock, for example-- or why can't she do as my T does?
Maybe if the bell is necessary-- she'd get a less intrusive sounding one-- I mean, I'd cringe if I had to hear that particular ring, myself. I'll bet you aren't the only person who doesn't like it-- so I think it's legitimate to at least ask if she'd consider-- if you'd like-- at least to show that you're willing to compromise (if that would help). Or maybe there's some other way you could let her know (eg, calling her phone-- which lots of Ts put on during the time between appointments). There must be some way you could find.
Honore
Posted by Daisym on January 23, 2007, at 22:24:09
In reply to Re: Announcing yourself ... » annierose, posted by Honore on January 23, 2007, at 22:02:06
I guess I've never thought about having to announce myself. There is a waiting room and I just wait until he comes to get me. When I'm late, I think he either hears my heels on the hardwood floor (hard to miss) or the door closing. I HATE waiting in the waiting room so I usually don't go in until 1 minute before my time.
Seems like she could leave her door cracked if you were running late.
Posted by muffled on January 23, 2007, at 22:27:00
In reply to Announcing yourself ..., posted by annierose on January 23, 2007, at 20:42:00
My T's office is in a church too.
I walk around the far side of the building so I don't see her before the session (when she comes to park cuz I often first appt of the day). If she DOES drive by B4 I get around the building she waves I think, cuz her car slows down, but I COMPLETELY ignore her. Then I come in a farther door, go to the bathroom, and sneak down the hall and peek around the corner to her office door. If its closed, then it usu means she has a client, so I scuttle away and wait outside and come back in a few minutes to check again.
Sometimes she's there and the door is open, so I sit down outside the door very quietly and wait for her to find me there and ask me to come in.
I then move my chair closer to the door (she closes the door) and wait for her to sit down and begin.
In the summer when the weather is nice, I just wait outside and she comes and gets me.
I am so weird!
Muffled
Posted by muffled on January 23, 2007, at 22:43:55
In reply to Re: Announcing yourself ..., posted by muffled on January 23, 2007, at 22:27:00
forgot to say I would NEVER ring that bell either. That would seriously weird me out. MAJORLY.
Muffled
Posted by caraher on January 24, 2007, at 6:10:30
In reply to oh yeah, posted by muffled on January 23, 2007, at 22:43:55
> forgot to say I would NEVER ring that bell either. That would seriously weird me out. MAJORLY.
This is clearly a common aversion. Maybe what these Ts need is something like what I remember from the confessionals in the church from when I was a kid, where there was a switch in the kneeler so that if someone was inside the confessional kneeling a red light would be on so people would know not to go in. Putting a switch on a waiting room chair might work. (Can you tell I'm approaching this as a technological problem? ;) )
Posted by mair on January 24, 2007, at 13:12:02
In reply to Announcing yourself ..., posted by annierose on January 23, 2007, at 20:42:00
I walk right by her first floor office windows so I assume she can see me, or maybe hear me. The bad part is that I think a patient in the room would be able to see me also, depending on where she was sitting - I don't like that at all, and try to avoid that by getting there at the last minute.
I, too, would hate the door bell. Once with my psychiatrist, I waited for a really long time and then I knocked on her door. I was mortified because she was seeing someone else, and it turned out I had gotten the time mixed up, and had actually missed my appointment. It took me forever to get over that, particularly since my pdoc is not the warm and fuzzy type.
It's also a little traumatizing when I drive up and my T's car is not in the parking lot. I instantly think I've gotten the time wrong, but it's always been that it was getting serviced or something entirely innocent like that.
On occasion, generally when I've been late, my therapist has left her door ajar just so I know I can come in right away.
I really like the confessional light alternative best.
mair
Posted by bil on January 24, 2007, at 14:01:12
In reply to Re: oh yeah, posted by caraher on January 24, 2007, at 6:10:30
Where I used to see my ex-T, it was in an old house with several other therapists... I would have to ring a loud doorbell, and one of them would let me in.
Then I had to sit on a small seat or bench type thingy, (meant for 2 people, but the one time I came and someone else was waiting too, she stood the whole time- it wasn't really big enough for 2 strangers to sit together.)
The photocopier was exactly opposite this bench, so if one of the therapists was using it, I had to sit sideways, and felt in the way.
What was the worst bit was that the other t's in the practice would tip-toe back and forth from office to the counselling rooms...and speak in hushed voices like it was... I dunno, like a funeral or something! I felt like if I hadn't been there they would have spoken normally.
I was told at my first session I was to sit there until she came out of the shared office, and she took me to the counselling room.
I used to arrive exactly on time, so I wouldn't have to sit there...(and I hated that bell too- it was LOUD) so would sometimes be worried if I were a few minutes late... my (ex)-t said this showed I had time-management issues.
I didn't bring up my "it's your crap waiting area, actually" issues.bil
Posted by Honore on January 24, 2007, at 14:37:22
In reply to Re: oh yeah, posted by bil on January 24, 2007, at 14:01:12
I saw an amusing comment about what T;s say about when patients come to appointments:
If a patient is early, she's anxious; if she's on time, she's compulsive; if she's late, she's resisting.
So at least, they always have something to say!
It is a curious thing, though-- coming and leaving --either one can be particularly hard to manage at times.
Honore
Posted by annierose on January 24, 2007, at 19:51:01
In reply to Re: oh yeah, posted by Honore on January 24, 2007, at 14:37:22
I enjoyed reading everyone's situations with "arriving" - it's funny how it's such a BIG DEAL.
I did tell my therapist that it's the sound that I don't like, not the pressing of the button. And that if it was a light, I would be more inclined to push it. But it's her practice and she must have her reasons to use that system. Maybe she naps between clients and that DING DONG button wakes her up (grin).
I feel better knowing most of you agree with me. I like being right.
Thanks for sharing your arrival procedures.
Do you ever wonder if your t has a hidden camera in the waiting room seeing how we pass the time?
Posted by littleone on January 24, 2007, at 20:15:02
In reply to Re: Thanks - - -, posted by annierose on January 24, 2007, at 19:51:01
> I did tell my therapist that it's the sound that I don't like, not the pressing of the button. And that if it was a light, I would be more inclined to push it. But it's her practice and she must have her reasons to use that system. Maybe she naps between clients and that DING DONG button wakes her up (grin).
:) I was thinking it might be funny if you took along a little trumpet with a scroll off it (like they used to have in the old days with the kings and queens in castles) and as the ding dong sounds, you could toot in your trumpet and formally announce your arrival.
> I feel better knowing most of you agree with me. I like being right.I would hate to do the ding dong button too. I even get anxious pressing normal doorbells or knocking even.
Posted by caraher on January 24, 2007, at 21:23:36
In reply to Re: Thanks - - -, posted by annierose on January 24, 2007, at 19:51:01
> I did tell my therapist that it's the sound that I don't like, not the pressing of the button.
Very early on, I insisted she explain how the button worked. I wouldn't press it because I didn't want it going off during someone else's session, plus I didn't want to be intrusive even if she were alone, and I got the grand tour of how the light works, etc.
> Do you ever wonder if your t has a hidden camera in the waiting room seeing how we pass the time?
Ummm... are you trying to make us paranoid? ;) actually, it would be awfully boring to watch, except maybe the time she moved to a new office and had different furniture and I noticed the desk lamp had been assembled incorrectly and took it upon myself to fix that.
Posted by wishingstar on January 24, 2007, at 22:07:04
In reply to Re: Thanks - - - » annierose, posted by littleone on January 24, 2007, at 20:15:02
littleone, I've been having a terrible night but the image of taking a trumpet to announce my (or your) arrival is absolutely halarious! It actually made me laugh out loud. My Ts office is just a room off a long hallway, and the waiting room is another room on the same hallway, so I'm picturing myself parading up and down the hallway, past all the therapy offices, with this trumpet blasting. I wonder what she'd say! lol!
Since I've pushed myself into this conversation now, I'll add my experience. I've never had any kind of buzzer, doorbell, light, etc with any therapist I've ever seen. They have all always just come and gotten me in the waiting room when it was time. Ginny usually sticks her head in, says I can go on it (shes across the hall from the waiting room), and fools around in the hallway for a minute before she comes in. I think I'd hate to press a buzzer too. But a trumpet, now that I could get used to! :)
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