Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 660673

Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

T on vacation - calls?

Posted by sunnydays on June 23, 2006, at 16:07:19

Does it make me a bad person if I called my T? I feel bad about it. He'll be on vacation. I just am not doing too well, and I needed to hear his voice just once. But then he surprised me and he offered to call me to check in a couple times while he's gone (nothing too often, just like once a week). We only talked for about 10 minutes today, and I expect we'd only talk that long (or shorter) then. But I feel bad because I think I'm bothering him. But at first I said "No, that's okay," and he said he didn't mind if that was something I wanted, and so I said that yeah I would. He wouldn't have offered if he minded, right? I just feel like I must be a horrible bother. Has anyone else had their T call them while the T was on vacation? I just feel like I must be a horrible person.

 

Re: T on vacation - calls? sunnydays

Posted by TherapyGirl on June 23, 2006, at 16:56:59

In reply to T on vacation - calls?, posted by sunnydays on June 23, 2006, at 16:07:19

I think your T sounds like a wonderful person who knows how hard it is for you when he's gone. I'm guessing the cost of 10 minutes of his vacation time is paltry compared to the comfort it brings you. And he wouldn't have offered if he minded, right?

Hang in there, Sunnydays!

 

Re: T on vacation - calls?

Posted by ElaineM on June 23, 2006, at 17:07:01

In reply to T on vacation - calls?, posted by sunnydays on June 23, 2006, at 16:07:19

Sunnydays, I'm proud that you called him when you thought you needed to. I know you were worried about bothering him, so that what pretty brave. Your T sounds really nice and I'm sure he wouldn't have offered if he didn't want you to feel like you could accept. I've talked to my old T before on the phone. The night before her plane left. She checked in on me once, I was so grateful that I forgot to even think about what she thought of it. But I like to think she felt that helping a patient through a vacation period was part of the job. T vacations can be so scary. I missed her every second she was gone, so I can understand your anxiety.

You should try and not think about it too much, and use his calls to make the break seem shorter. It sounds like you T wanted to make sure he could help you make it through better. I don't think you're horrible at all.

Hugs till T comes back, EL

 

Re: T on vacation - calls? sunnydays

Posted by Poet on June 23, 2006, at 17:54:39

In reply to T on vacation - calls?, posted by sunnydays on June 23, 2006, at 16:07:19

Hi sunnydays,

I think your T is being genuine when he says it's okay to call him while he's on vacation. I think he understands that if you call it's because it's something important that you need to talk about.

My T gave me her home phone number at the first session and said, call anytime you need me, but I won't answer in the middle of the night. I only call her when I do really need to talk to her (and never in the middle of the night, of course.)

Poet

 

Re: T on vacation - calls?

Posted by sunnydays on June 23, 2006, at 19:42:23

In reply to Re: T on vacation - calls?, posted by ElaineM on June 23, 2006, at 17:07:01

Hi everyone,
Thank you for your comments. They made me smile. I just feel like I must be bothering him - but it's an issue that I've had for a long time in regards to everything about my therapy. I just really hope I'm not bothering him. And I just feel like I should have been able to do it myself and not need the check-ins, but I really did want them, so I agreed. I hope he doesn't mind.
sunnydays

 

Re: T on vacation - calls?

Posted by Jost on June 23, 2006, at 21:08:04

In reply to Re: T on vacation - calls?, posted by sunnydays on June 23, 2006, at 19:42:23

Sunnydays, I'm no Miss Cleo, but I'm going to make a prediction (or is it a post-diction)?

I'm going to say that I'm just about sure that your T didn't mind. I'd put money on it, and I'm not a gambling person.

Maybe your T feels a little bit guilty for going on vacation; maybe he sort of misses the connection; maybe he likes to know you're doing okay. Not knowing your T, I can't speculate..

One thing I'm just about sure of, though--your T wouldn't invite you to call on your vacation if he didn't feel comfortable and open to it.

I talked to my T over the vacation (and also obsessed about whether I was "okay" on the phone). So it can happen, and be a good thing. Don't worry that you "shouldn't" need it.

Jost

 

Re: T on vacation - calls?

Posted by sunnydays on June 23, 2006, at 22:15:40

In reply to Re: T on vacation - calls?, posted by Jost on June 23, 2006, at 21:08:04

Thank you for your message. Realistically, I know he doesn't mind, but I'm not always realistic.... Anyway, I think I might actually be tired, so I'm going to try to go to bed -- maybe I'll actually be able to fall asleep tonight. :) Thanks again. It meant a lot that you took the time to reply.
sunnydays

 

Re: T on vacation - calls?

Posted by Jost on June 24, 2006, at 21:56:59

In reply to Re: T on vacation - calls?, posted by sunnydays on June 23, 2006, at 22:15:40

Sunnydays, I knew you knew--just thought I'd tell you anyway. :)

Mine goes away for 5 1/2 weeks in August, and we're not even getting along too well now. So I'm kind of worried.

I do think T's shouldn't wait til the last minute, but you're doing so well. Have you written anything down to give him when he gets back? Sometimes that helps, too.

Hope you got some sleep last night, too.

Jost

 

Re: T on vacation - calls?

Posted by sunnydays on June 24, 2006, at 22:29:12

In reply to Re: T on vacation - calls?, posted by Jost on June 24, 2006, at 21:56:59

> Sunnydays, I knew you knew--just thought I'd tell you anyway. :)

Thanks. :) Sometimes hearing it from another person just gives that little bit of extra reassurance I need.

> Mine goes away for 5 1/2 weeks in August, and we're not even getting along too well now. So I'm kind of worried.

Wow. I can't even imagine 5 1/2 weeks. Good luck with getting everything sorted out with your T before s/he leaves.

> I do think T's shouldn't wait til the last minute, but you're doing so well. Have you written anything down to give him when he gets back? Sometimes that helps, too.

No I haven't, but I'm thinking I might tonight. I've been kind of numb the past few days, so I've been trying to avoid thinking about it. Being numb isn't the best defense in the world because it cuts off all the rest of my emotions, too, but sometimes I can't help it. I haven't really figured out how not to do it. But I've been thinking it might be good to try to write something, as that might make the numbness go away. I don't want to get myself overwhelmed, though.

> Hope you got some sleep last night, too.

Thanks. I actually slept for almost 12 hours. I seem to be swinging from insomnia and terrible trouble getting to sleep and waking up too early to sleeping too much. And I seem to sleep better on weekends than during the week. I haven't quite figured that out. I tend to sleep more when I'm depressed, but the insomnia's a new thing. Maybe stress at work, who knows... Thanks for your kind words Jost!

 

Re: T on vacation - calls?

Posted by rubenstein on June 27, 2006, at 17:43:21

In reply to T on vacation - calls?, posted by sunnydays on June 23, 2006, at 16:07:19

I always feel weird about calls too, but I think it is okay. He seems like he really cares and that is what you need. It's hard but try not to feel bad about it, I do when I call and I am working on it. I think its a fear of being needy.
take care
rachel

 

Re: T on vacation - calls?

Posted by sunnydays on June 27, 2006, at 19:34:31

In reply to Re: T on vacation - calls?, posted by rubenstein on June 27, 2006, at 17:43:21

Hi,
Thank you for responding. Yes, it's definitely a fear of being needy for me - actually a fear of being 'too' needy - so needy that he'll decide he doesn't want to see me anymore. It's nice to hear that someone else knows how I feel - well, it's not nice to feel this way, but I guess if I'm going to feel it, it's nice not to be alone in it.

Thank you.
sunnydays


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