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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by curtm on May 1, 2006, at 18:15:40
Honest question: Why is everything a flappin joke to me? I have a cynical, sarcastic outlook all the time, even when I am in a stable mood.
Posted by med_empowered on May 1, 2006, at 18:15:40
In reply to Why sarcasm- help, posted by curtm on April 28, 2006, at 15:38:08
There are really two answers here: the clinical one and the "real life" one. Clinically, that sort of thing could qualify as a sign of a "personality disorder" or possibly some odd sort of depression. Personality disorders, though, often respond well to medication and are kind of controversial.
My "real life" answer: you've been through tough times. Its not patholigical, its adpative, albeit not desirable. Try to get control over your life and relax, allow yourself to see the beauty in things.
Posted by curtm on May 1, 2006, at 18:15:41
In reply to Re: Why sarcasm- help, posted by med_empowered on April 28, 2006, at 16:42:56
My first CDC Counselor said I was narcissistic(not to the point of disorder) which has underlying self-esteem issues. Therefore by bringing other people and things down, relatively enables me to feel higher.
Posted by SLS on May 1, 2006, at 18:15:41
In reply to Re: Why sarcasm- help » med_empowered, posted by curtm on April 28, 2006, at 17:07:04
> My first CDC Counselor said I was narcissistic(not to the point of disorder) which has underlying self-esteem issues. Therefore by bringing other people and things down, relatively enables me to feel higher.
That sounds very much like a friend of mine.
Do you have any issues with authority?
Do you find yourself hoarding things?
What was recommended to you as treatment?
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on May 1, 2006, at 18:15:43
In reply to Re: Why sarcasm- help, posted by SLS on April 28, 2006, at 18:05:57
That's not my definition of sarcasm. Being from the Northeast originally we all were sarcastic. It was used for as a form of joking. Nothing mean just funny. Example to me someone says it's raining and someone else no "really". Love Phillipa Never sharp or intending to hurt someone. HummmmmIt's something maybe to google for me anyway.
Posted by bassman on May 1, 2006, at 18:16:29
In reply to Why sarcasm- help, posted by curtm on April 28, 2006, at 15:38:08
I wonder if it is just an emotional outlet...I'm constantly humorous in an off-beat way. That is my way of defusing my own fears, sometimes. But this is a world where the rational reaction might well be sarcasm...maybe only sometimes you are depreciating others to make yourself feel superior. Not exactly unique-observe anyone when they get angry and see if you don't see them doing the same depreciation/judgmental thing...
Posted by naughtypuppy on May 1, 2006, at 18:16:29
In reply to Why sarcasm- help, posted by curtm on April 28, 2006, at 15:38:08
It's probably a defense mechanism to avoid being hurt. I have a sense of humor that some (boring) people consider wierd.
Posted by med_empowered on May 1, 2006, at 18:16:29
In reply to Re: Why sarcasm- help, posted by naughtypuppy on April 29, 2006, at 10:22:29
Personality Disorders I think are meaningless. I mean, "Narcissistic Personality Disorder"--b/c your therapist finds your sense of humor or outlook on life objectionable or strange? Personality Disorders are pretty much moral judgements with DSM-IV codes attached.
Posted by pseudoname on May 1, 2006, at 18:16:29
In reply to Why sarcasm- help, posted by curtm on April 28, 2006, at 15:38:08
Hey, Curt.
> Why is everything a flappin joke to me?
I don't know. I've gotten very skeptical of psychological explanations of complex, emotionally-charged behavior.
You may eventually figure out some connection with anger or fear or whatever, but if it happens all the time, sarcasm might be a pretty generalized tool for you. Maybe it has lots of causes. I don't think cause-finding is a very fruitful route on the whole.
Is this sarcasm something you want to change?
Why?
That's a hard question, but a serious one. What would be better about your life if you didn't have this cynical outlook? What would the difference be?
Posted by capricorn on May 1, 2006, at 18:16:30
In reply to Why sarcasm- help, posted by curtm on April 28, 2006, at 15:38:08
coping mechanism?
Posted by curtm on May 1, 2006, at 18:16:30
In reply to Re: Why sarcasm- help, posted by SLS on April 28, 2006, at 18:05:57
curtm> My first CDC Counselor said I was narcissistic(not to the point of disorder) which has underlying self-esteem issues. Therefore by bringing other people and things down, relatively enables me to feel higher.
Scott> That sounds very much like a friend of mine.
Do you have any issues with authority?
curtm: Of course I have issues with authority, but I have managed to avoid run-ins with the law all these years. I try to avoid situations that have much authority.Do you find yourself hoarding things?
curtm: No. I hate having junk around. If anything, I'll throw stuff away that could easily be used by someone else.What was recommended to you as treatment?
curtm: CDC Counselor said I would never be able to quit drugs on my own. I would have to go to AA or NA forever. He said I would do best starting out in in-patient therapy.
Well, guess what... I quit on my own. I didn't want to lose my child (wife I could live without,) but I didn't want him to grow up with divorced parents if I could help it. So I quit.Since I quit though, my bipolar personality, which I believe was suppressed by drugs, began to show. Maybe it was even exaggerated from using/being suppressed for many years.
curtm
Posted by curtm on May 1, 2006, at 18:16:30
In reply to Re: Why sarcasm- help, posted by bassman on April 29, 2006, at 9:45:38
>> Not exactly unique-observe anyone when they get angry and see if you don't see them doing the same depreciation/judgmental thing...
I do notice other people doing it. Most of them seem to be the scrubby, going nowhere (and not trying to) with their lives, loser type. The rest seem to be ones that have made something, but aren't completely happy with what they have (job, relationship, etc...) for some reason. I think I fall into the latter category. My problem is I need to make some goals and stop making excuses for not making them!
Posted by curtm on May 1, 2006, at 18:16:30
In reply to Re: Why sarcasm- help, posted by naughtypuppy on April 29, 2006, at 10:22:29
>> It's probably a defense mechanism to avoid being hurt. I have a sense of humor that some (boring) people consider wierd.
YEAH! You're absolutely right! MOST people ARE boring!
Posted by curtm on May 1, 2006, at 18:16:30
In reply to Re: Why sarcasm- help, posted by med_empowered on April 29, 2006, at 13:54:34
>> b/c your therapist finds your sense of humor or outlook on life objectionable or strange?
Actually my therapist thinks my opinions and feelings are "personalized." She is very open-minded. Sometimes when I throw in some philosophy, (I can't think of an example right now) she gets a contemplative look on her face and says, "I never really thought of it that way. That's interesting."
Maybe I am the one who thinks my sense of humor or outlook on life are objectionable or strange...
Posted by curtm on May 1, 2006, at 18:16:31
In reply to awareness » curtm, posted by pseudoname on April 29, 2006, at 16:54:18
>> Is this sarcasm something you want to change?
Why? What would be better about your life if you didn't have this cynical outlook? What would the difference be?I would feel more accepted in groups of people that we associate with publicly. often times when I open my mouth, my comments are "out of the norm" or pessimistic. Most people tend to shy away from pessimism and associate with optimistic people. Therefore I feel like I don't belong sometimes, and I often keep to myself.
Posted by curtm on May 1, 2006, at 18:16:31
In reply to Re: Why sarcasm- help, posted by bassman on April 29, 2006, at 9:45:38
Posted by B2chica on May 2, 2006, at 9:14:16
In reply to Why sarcasm- help, posted by curtm on April 28, 2006, at 15:38:08
> Honest question: Why is everything a flappin joke to me? I have a cynical, sarcastic outlook all the time, even when I am in a stable mood.
when you figure it out, let me know...then i'll tell you why it's not true :^)
Posted by pseudoname on May 2, 2006, at 11:58:53
In reply to Re: awareness » pseudoname, posted by curtm on May 1, 2006, at 13:26:51
Hey, Curt.
I hope you're still following this after the re-direct. ;-)
Your concern with this issue, your serious effort about it, the fact that you carefully replied to every post in the thread, the fact that you've discussed it with a counselor, the fact that you want to be with people and not make them “shy away from [your] pessimism”... all of that describes a person who seems genuinely NON-cynical inside. You clearly value being feeling, caring, sincere, and open to trusting people, even if *maybe* your mouth sometimes implies otherwise.
I like what your therapist said: your opinions and feelings are "personalized."
On the other hand, it sounds like maybe some impulsive-type speech sometimes comes out that doesn't jive with your deeper feelings?
I knew a guy who, ten years ago, was *very* sharp-tongued, always making cracks about everything. It seemed impulsive, like he couldn't control himself. He's not like that any more. I don't know what led to the change, but probably awareness of the problem was part of it.
The following suggestion won't be a cure, but it won't hurt, either. It's based on a kind of therapy I've been getting into lately for other reasons: Can you become even more aware of what's going on?
When you find yourself saying sarcastic things, can you focus your attention on how you feel, how your body feels? For example, is your abdomen tense? Where are your arms & legs? How do your shoulders, neck, etc feel? How are you standing, breathing, etc? What does the sarcastic impulse *feel like* inside of you? Remember incidents where you've blurted stuff out. Can you see them in a very relaxed, slow-motion memory? How did it feel, before, during, and after you spoke?
You can allow the feelings to flow through your body without trying to stop them. You can become more aware of them, without understanding them. (Like I said, I think understanding is very overrated.)
You don't have to fight the impulse to crack wise, and you don't have to give in to it, either. Just.... observe it, neutrally.
As you become more aware of it on the inside, maybe you'll notice more about the situations OUTSIDE that seem to trigger it.
But even if not, becoming more aware of the texture & details of these feelings may end up with you feeling cynical but being serious.
Just a thought.
Posted by fairywings on May 2, 2006, at 20:38:52
In reply to Why sarcasm- help, posted by curtm on April 28, 2006, at 15:38:08
Not always.....your last post proves it! ; )
fw
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 4, 2006, at 10:03:43
In reply to Re: Why sarcasm- help, posted by SLS on April 28, 2006, at 18:05:57
> Do you have any issues with authority?
>
> Do you find yourself hoarding things?Okay, Scott, you have me wondering.....what does hoarding have to do with sarcasm?
Lar
This is the end of the thread.
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