![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by milly on March 24, 2006, at 7:57:32
I have to leave my T because I was allocated the 6 months allowed in the UK and he pushed it to 7 but I still have to end on 4th April. Well now he wants me to consider continueing therapy but not with him.
Why would I want to do that?
How can I be elligable for more funding but not for more funding with him?
I thought I was doing Ok what have I done to be punished like this?
Does he hate me? But we are so connected I couldn't possible start with someone else. I don't want to I only want him, it would be such a betrayal - I wouldn't talk to them anyway
I'm confused and upset
milly
Posted by Dinah on March 24, 2006, at 9:07:15
In reply to I don't get this, posted by milly on March 24, 2006, at 7:57:32
Just a guess, but maybe he's saying that in general they don't allow it, but he's trying to balance your need for therapy with their rules, and perhaps his way of getting them to agree to it is to tell them that perhaps a different approach would be better for you.
That's just a wild guess. I've always been terribly sad that there are so many limitations on therapy where you are.
Posted by B2chica on March 24, 2006, at 9:25:19
In reply to Re: I don't get this » milly, posted by Dinah on March 24, 2006, at 9:07:15
i agree with dinah, it's terrible the limitations you have. maybe they won't pay for anymore sessions with him but if you switch to a different T or different approach they will start from the beginning and allow you six more months???
don't know.
i don't knwo what else to say, except i'm sorry you have to deal with this crud.
please take care
b2c.
Posted by Racer on March 24, 2006, at 14:04:40
In reply to I don't get this, posted by milly on March 24, 2006, at 7:57:32
The only thing you've done to be punished like this is to be born in the UK, where that's how the NHS operates. I'm pretty sure that what everyone else has said is true: you can get funded for more therapy, but only if you go on to another therapist.
It's terrible, and it's probably the reality you have to live with. (Although, I would talk to your T about exactly this: why would there be more funding if you see someone else? Is there any other reason that it has to be this way? How can you adjust to another T after working so hard with him?)
It is terrible, and I know that it must feel crummy when you can read about people here who see the same T for longer periods. Remember, though, that many US insurance companies actually only pay for between 12 and 30 visits per year, which includes both T and pdoc. If you get 30 visits per year, T once a week and pdoc once a month comes out to about 6 months, too. Of course, we do have the option of continuing after that -- paying out of pocket.
Mental health care just ain't great, doesn't seem to matter where you are. [does the thing a Hoover is meant to do] a lot, but there it is.
I'm very sorry, Milly. This may not come across as a very sympathetic response, but if it doesn't, that's a reflection of how angry the system makes me, not of a lack of sympathy for you. I wish you could keep your T forever, or as close to it as you need him. And I hate it that the NHS isn't giving you that opportunity.
Posted by 10derHeart on March 24, 2006, at 17:04:00
In reply to I don't get this, posted by milly on March 24, 2006, at 7:57:32
Posted by NikkiT2 on March 24, 2006, at 17:27:25
In reply to I don't get this, posted by milly on March 24, 2006, at 7:57:32
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It makes me so angry.. I wish the state of things in the NHS were different, I really really do, but you only have to read the news to see how it is.
I'm in the UK.. and I actuallyw ork for a mental health trust now (its a long story, but I lost my job through my mental health, didn't work for over 4 years, but got very involved in the "service user movement" and now work for a personality disorder service.
I know this is horribly painful, but I am sure this isn't because your therapist hates you.
Firstly, is he suggesting another therapist within the same service? or the same trust? Could it be he is referring you to a more specialised service for your problems?
Also, alot of services do rotate therapists to prevent attachment. Turn over is high in the NHS, and so alot of services try really hard to prevent clients becoming too attached.
It could be that his job role has changed aswell. One hting that is happening at the moment is that they are trying to give people more of a working balance, so increasing the amount of training they do, research they do.. that kind of thing. So, as bad as it is, they have to reduce the amount of time they are spending with their clients.
Or, to throw another idea in the pot, he could have been promoted and having to take on many more management responsibilities.Why don't you ask him? I think that is well within boundries to know.
But.. one more thing.. you *can* and, and will, be able to talk with the new therapist. No one is betraying anyone. It won't be exactoly the same, but a new therapist really can still help you. I promise!
Speak to him.. let us know what he says.
Good luck, Nikki
Posted by NikkiT2 on March 24, 2006, at 17:33:30
In reply to I don't get this, posted by milly on March 24, 2006, at 7:57:32
I sound like I'm spouting the company line..
But, I am trying to explain in order to make you feel better. I've been there, and it hurts like a very hot place.
Nikki x
Posted by madeline on March 24, 2006, at 17:58:35
In reply to I don't get this, posted by milly on March 24, 2006, at 7:57:32
can he see you privately? using your own funds? or is that not the issue here?
Posted by milly on March 25, 2006, at 15:33:27
In reply to Re: I don't get this » milly, posted by Dinah on March 24, 2006, at 9:07:15
Maybe you are right and I will probably accept the offer of a referal but I have only just got to trusting him and it makes me feel like I've wasted all that time at the beginning when I found it so difficult to vocalize anything.
Thanks for hating the system for me!
milly
Posted by milly on March 25, 2006, at 15:41:58
In reply to Situation s*cks. It's just not right :-( ((milly) (nm), posted by 10derHeart on March 24, 2006, at 17:04:00
Yep it does, thanks for the hug I needed that
milly
Posted by milly on March 25, 2006, at 15:53:20
In reply to Re: I don't get this » milly, posted by NikkiT2 on March 24, 2006, at 17:27:25
> I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It makes me so angry.. I wish the state of things in the NHS were different, I really really do, but you only have to read the news to see how it is.
** Yep i know and I feel amazingly fortunate that I was given 6 months and the whole time I've been aware that there was probably someone who needed my slot more than me and it is just greedy of me to want more.
> I'm in the UK.. and I actuallyw ork for a mental health trust now (its a long story, but I lost my job through my mental health, didn't work for over 4 years, but got very involved in the "service user movement" and now work for a personality disorder service.
** Wow that sound familiar (I cocked up my job too!!!) Good on you for getting involved at the sharp end
> I know this is horribly painful, but I am sure this isn't because your therapist hates you.** No I know really that is not the reason, but my past contains alot of punishment through seperation so it is hard to not automatically blame myself for him 'leaving'
> Firstly, is he suggesting another therapist within the same service? or the same trust? Could it be he is referring you to a more specialised service for your problems?** I think so, we are going to talk about it on Tues, but I really don't think I need a different approach just more time
> Also, alot of services do rotate therapists to prevent attachment. Turn over is high in the NHS, and so alot of services try really hard to prevent clients becoming too attached.
**but isn't that supposed to help the therapy if you feel connected?
> It could be that his job role has changed aswell. One hting that is happening at the moment is that they are trying to give people more of a working balance, so increasing the amount of training they do, research they do.. that kind of thing. So, as bad as it is, they have to reduce the amount of time they are spending with their clients.
** Guess thats good for T's but not so good for clients!
> Or, to throw another idea in the pot, he could have been promoted and having to take on many more management responsibilities.
> Why don't you ask him? I think that is well within boundries to know.
**Yep i guess I will.
> But.. one more thing.. you *can* and, and will, be able to talk with the new therapist. No one is betraying anyone. It won't be exactoly the same, but a new therapist really can still help you. I promise!**thanks
> Speak to him.. let us know what he says.
> Good luck, Nikki
**milly
Posted by milly on March 25, 2006, at 15:54:49
In reply to Re: I don't get this » milly, posted by madeline on March 24, 2006, at 17:58:35
> can he see you privately? using your own funds? or is that not the issue here?
** I don't think he see private patients although I could ask him I suppose
Thanks for the idea
milly
Posted by NikkiT2 on March 25, 2006, at 16:07:41
In reply to Re: I don't get this » NikkiT2, posted by milly on March 25, 2006, at 15:53:20
The hardest, and wierdest thing I have had to learn since starting my new job is that our therapists are actually as human as we are! They need a good work / life balance, and they need to be stimulated at work, be able to do things they are interested in, and also have their own sh*t to deal with.. Unfortunately, therapists aren't perfect.. yes, they've had training. Yes, they get their own supervision an dtherapy to help them deal with the clients, but at the end of the day, they are just as important as the client.
Like I say, its wierd!! And has been ALOT to get my head around!
Speak to him, ask him why, and then come back to us.. From what you say, I bet its for a more specialised service - for example, I work in a service that specialises in people with a personality disorder.. our therapists have extra training on therapy methods that work extra well with these people etc.. Plus, as we're not a "standard" therapy service, we don't have the 6 month limits and stuff like that.
hang in there..
Nikki xx
Posted by milly on March 25, 2006, at 16:13:25
In reply to what you've done to be punished like this » milly, posted by Racer on March 24, 2006, at 14:04:40
Thanks Racer
sometimes I do get very jealous when I read how 'permanent' therapy seems to be for some, thanks for helping me understand the US system a bit.
It is just so difficult to have had all these 'boxes' opened of events I had truely put on a shelf and forgotten and then have the one person who has helped process these things taken from me. Maybe it would have been better to leave the 'boxes' securely padlocked.
milly
Posted by milly on March 25, 2006, at 16:14:34
In reply to Re: I don't get this, posted by B2chica on March 24, 2006, at 9:25:19
Thanks b2c, there probably isn't anything anyone can say to make this better for me, I'm just sooooo sad.
milly
Posted by B2chica on March 27, 2006, at 9:11:35
In reply to Re: I don't get this » B2chica, posted by milly on March 25, 2006, at 16:14:34
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.