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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Poet on March 2, 2006, at 21:15:32
I am going to Mexico in two weeks. My husband and I are going with friends and they kept putting it off and I kept saying we won't go if you don't. Hoping that none of us would go.
I am not afraid to fly. I am not afraid to travel. My problem is that I can't get away from *me.* My negative self rant will go through my head nonstop as always. Same self hatred, different view.
If we hadn't booked so quickly I'd have more time to lose weight. If I had a new job I'd have something to look forward to when I get back. If, if, if.
I know I can't see the palm grove for the trees. A vacation should make me happy.
Dr. Clueless actually listened to me and gave me Clonazepam for anxiety because I had a panic attack before a job interview. I can understand racing thoughts and anxiety over that, but over getting *away* from real life? What the (self censored) is wrong with me?
Poet
Posted by Dinah on March 3, 2006, at 0:10:39
In reply to How Do I Get Away From Me?, posted by Poet on March 2, 2006, at 21:15:32
Sigh. I know what you mean. You know that grand wedding most of us girls planned for all our lives? I was quite distressed to discover that I didn't feel like a princess at all. I felt like me in a long ivory gown with delicate gold embroidery. I should have taken my father's offer to pay me to elope. :)
Do you find that you feel that way *on* the vacation? I'm usually a miserable wretch *before* a vacation then find that I surprise myself by having a good time.
Posted by Tanzanite on March 3, 2006, at 0:14:50
In reply to How Do I Get Away From Me?, posted by Poet on March 2, 2006, at 21:15:32
Is is sad to say that I have been the same way.
Is it depression, is it something else? I don't even think I would want to go on a beautiful vacation. I really hope somewhere inside you can find a way to enjoy your trip. I really hope you can have some peace in your heart and mind at least for your vacation. Getting away from myself has always been impossible and I have wished it many times. Best wishes and safety to you and your family. HUGS
Tanzanite
Peace
Posted by Poet on March 4, 2006, at 14:56:32
In reply to Re: How Do I Get Away From Me? » Poet, posted by Dinah on March 3, 2006, at 0:10:39
Hi Dinah,
My husband always accuses me of picking fights when we're on vacation. It's like I know I'm going to have a bad time, so he should have one, too.
I do like the place we're going in Mexico and the people we're traveling with. I am worried that I will ruin everybody's vacation, which makes no sense as the other couple wouldn't like to travel with us if I did that in the past.
I can try and not grab onto the thoughts like Dr. Clueless suggested. I need to be able to relax or as my husband says I will break in half from the tension in my body.
I'm sure you looked like a princess on your wedding day, even if (sigh) you didn't feel like one.
Poet
Posted by Poet on March 4, 2006, at 15:03:35
In reply to Re: How Do I Get Away From Me?, posted by Tanzanite on March 3, 2006, at 0:14:50
Hi Tanzanite,
I hope that I can find a way to enjoy the trip. I like the place we're going to and I like the people we're going with. They obviously like me and in the past I haven't ruined the vacation for everybody. Even though I'm telling myself I will.
It is depression and anxiety, add some major self hatred into the mix.
I'm sorry that you can't get away from yourself either. Damn negative thoughts.
Thanks for the good wishes and I hope they do the trick for me.
Poet
Posted by pegasus on March 4, 2006, at 18:16:21
In reply to How Do I Get Away From Me?, posted by Poet on March 2, 2006, at 21:15:32
Isn't it awful? I've been there too. I've had some wonderful travel opportunities, spending the whole time telling myself what a loser I am for not enjoying where I was. For me travel is a big anxiety trigger, maybe because I'm away from some of my usual comfort things. I travel a fair bit for work, so over the years I've developed some strategies that make it better.
1. It's ok to call home every day if it helps, or not if that helps more. Or several times a day.
2. Bring the ipod with soothing meditation messages to help get to sleep.
3. Try to make healthy choices for at least one meal a day, but eat *something* for every meal. Worry about correct diet at home.
4. Look for a yoga class to drop in on. The hotel can usually help with this.
5. Plan limited special outings. A pedicure. A visit to an interesting place. The trick is to make it specific and safe and not too challenging, and plan it before I leave. That gets me moving, and looking forward to something, without too much anxiety.I don't know if any of this helps you. I'll send some positive travel thoughts your way.
peg
Posted by Racer on March 4, 2006, at 21:08:39
In reply to Re: How Do I Get Away From Me?, posted by pegasus on March 4, 2006, at 18:16:21
I know this doesn't help, Poet, but I'm having a much better time of it with the intrusive and totally anti-me thoughts right now. Thank you, CNS stimulant...
I wish it were a cleaner feeling, but otherwise I feel like me, mostly. Still not quite perfect -- but when I'm not being silly, I will tell you that I have never really felt perfect. {shock} {horror} It's boosting my mood, and it's helping me stop thinking I'm totally worthless and should be ashamed of myself for EVERYTHING.
But you know what might help? I've never even met you, and I hate spending too much time with anyone, and I have only worn a bikini once in my life and will not be repeating that experience any time soon. But besides all that, I'd go on vacation with you...
Posted by Poet on March 5, 2006, at 18:08:32
In reply to Re: How Do I Get Away From Me?, posted by pegasus on March 4, 2006, at 18:16:21
Hi Pegasus,
I am packing CDs (no ipod, yet) and books, so hopefully my mind will contentrate on them and not so much on the negative thoughts.
I have several meditation/relaxation CDs. I didn't think to bring them. Thanks for the suggestion.
I totally agree with planning limited outings. Snorkling is something I like, so that's one idea of something I should (note should)enjoy.
Thanks for your ideas.
Poet
Posted by Poet on March 5, 2006, at 18:17:15
In reply to Re: How Do I Get Away From Me?, posted by Racer on March 4, 2006, at 21:08:39
Hi Racer,
Darn it, I thought you could tell me what feeling completely perfect is like. LOL.
Glad your new meds are working. I haven't had any negative side effects from my new meds, either. Though it's hard to plan that panic attack in advance.
Too bad you can't come with me. I can see us on the beach wearing tankinis, since fashion got rid of those sensible sailor suits with bloomers that's as bare as I will go.
Poet
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