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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crushedout on February 2, 2006, at 19:01:08
It happened again where my emotional forcefield went up as soon as I got there, but today it proved weak and collapsed a couple of times, and I was able to really feel the pain. I just wanted to feel it with her, even though all that involved was me sobbing into my hands, unable to talk because I was crying too hard.She said this might be a later stage of mourning the relationship with my old T that I lost, but I think I'm mourning the one I never had.
Can you mourn something that never existed? And if so, how do you ever get over it? It feels much harder than mourning an actual relationship.
Posted by happyflower on February 2, 2006, at 20:15:59
In reply to Therapy was VERY good today, posted by crushedout on February 2, 2006, at 19:01:08
I think grieving is a very healthy way to deal with stuff. I had to grieve not being loved by my parents, and I had to greive not having a normal childhood. So yeah, I think you can grief something you never had. I did.
Posted by annierose on February 2, 2006, at 22:52:33
In reply to Therapy was VERY good today, posted by crushedout on February 2, 2006, at 19:01:08
>>>Can you mourn something that never existed? And if so, how do you ever get over it? It feels much harder than mourning an actual relationship. <<<
Yes, I think you can. You are mourning that it was never there, that it wasn't enough. I know that feeling all too well. I have a mother that is (still today) just a physical shell of a person. So I mourn for the mother that I never had, someone to ask, "how are you feeling today?" and really care to listen to the answer.
I'm glad you shared this pain with your T. She can help you resolve this former relationship. It just takes so much work AND time. But you will get there. I know you will.
Posted by muffled on February 3, 2006, at 13:23:36
In reply to Therapy was VERY good today, posted by crushedout on February 2, 2006, at 19:01:08
Don't know much bout mourning, guess I lucky.
But glad you had a good session crushed, know you been struggling.
Muffled
Posted by fairywings on February 3, 2006, at 19:21:00
In reply to Therapy was VERY good today, posted by crushedout on February 2, 2006, at 19:01:08
I'm glad you could let the forcefield down and let yourself feel what you needed to feel. Sounds exhausting, but good at the same time.
I don't know about the other, but I know you can mourn something you never had that you desparately wanted to have. I don't know if you get over it, maybe it becomes less painful with time? Or you learn to deal with it in another way...I don't know.
fw
This is the end of the thread.
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