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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 8 to 32 of 32. Go back in thread:
Posted by sleepygirl on January 11, 2006, at 14:52:51
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » sleepygirl, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 14:47:47
IRL can be tough
I'm going to therapy now coincidentally.
I'll see ya later, gotta go get my head checked :-)
(((LegWarmers))))
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 14:54:12
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by sleepygirl on January 11, 2006, at 14:52:51
> IRL can be tough
> I'm going to therapy now coincidentally.
> I'll see ya later, gotta go get my head checked :-)
> (((LegWarmers))))Thanks Sleepy!
Posted by Damos on January 11, 2006, at 15:30:45
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » sleepygirl, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 14:54:12
Just checked my head in the mirror. Bugga, still a pumpkin. Here or here-abouts if ya wanna talk some.
(((((Legwarmers)))))
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 11, 2006, at 15:34:53
In reply to Am I being too sensitive?, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 13:50:54
I think that you can be upset initially, the question is whether you stay upset. And so much of that has to do with who the person was to you? A close friend or sister, or someone from work with whom you only have a professional relationship? I have had people cross professional boundary lines w/ me about getting therapy. It was manipulative and hurtful and I think I have every right to be upset with their misbehavior. On the other hand, I have had similar conversations w/ people I trusted and that felt very differently.
As for the question of how much you "wear your heart on your sleeve," I think it is really hard to know. People vary so much in their ability to tell how someone else is doing. People who tell me that they can see I'm doing much better when I'm much worse. Or people who don't notice when I'm sitting next to them and crying! I try to take a very cosmic POV on it: if they noticed perhaps someone needed to notice, you know?
Now this has nothing to do with whether you actually are crazy! Just kidding, only someone else who has been in the same spot can make such a joke! But seriously, I hope things look up soon.
Best,
EE
Posted by muffled on January 11, 2006, at 16:08:55
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 11, 2006, at 15:34:53
Aw LW thats hard when someone says that to you. Kinda rocks your world. Does sound like you struggling some. I hate the drugs too, but I was falling and my T suggested I might need to go back on AD and she was right. I'm on a low dose, resistant to taking more. Scared even.
But its helped me over this hump so far.
So far I'm doing ok. And the meds have helped. (zoloft and klonopin)
Take care LW, you seem real nice.
Muffled
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 16:16:06
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by Damos on January 11, 2006, at 15:30:45
> Just checked my head in the mirror. Bugga, still a pumpkin. Here or here-abouts if ya wanna talk some.
>
> (((((Legwarmers)))))Thanks
your a sweet heart Damos
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 16:31:19
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 11, 2006, at 15:34:53
> I think that you can be upset initially, the question is whether you stay upset. And so much of that has to do with who the person was to you? A close friend or sister, or someone from work with whom you only have a professional relationship?
It was an aquantaince who initially comented on me seeming agitated, I then explained that I had a lot on my mind. She said I seemed really distressed when I said that and that I looked sad. then she said that I seemed to have a lot on my mind and should consider talking to someone about it, was phrased a bit differnet. Now that I re-tell it it doenst sound as bad as it did initially but I think what I was feeling from her was her hesitation in saying exactly what she meant, her implication of "it", as though it were taboo, and you could see how awkward it was for her. i also was probably reacting to the fact that she picked up on it, I don't like that.
> I have had people cross professional boundary lines w/ me about getting therapy. It was manipulative and hurtful and I think I have every right to be upset with their misbehavior. On the other hand, I have had similar conversations w/ people I trusted and that felt very differently.
>
> As for the question of how much you "wear your heart on your sleeve," I think it is really hard to know. People vary so much in their ability to tell how someone else is doing. People who tell me that they can see I'm doing much better when I'm much worse. Or people who don't notice when I'm sitting next to them and crying! I try to take a very cosmic POV on it: if they noticed perhaps someone needed to notice, you know?Yeah, I know what you mean
>
> Now this has nothing to do with whether you actually are crazy!lmao
Just kidding, only someone else who has been in the same spot can make such a joke! But seriously, I hope things look up soon.
>
> Best,
> EEThanks!
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 16:32:29
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive?, posted by muffled on January 11, 2006, at 16:08:55
> Aw LW thats hard when someone says that to you. Kinda rocks your world.
yeah, it totally did
>Does sound like you struggling some. I hate the drugs too, but I was falling and my T suggested I might need to go back on AD and she was right. I'm on a low dose, resistant to taking more. Scared even.
> But its helped me over this hump so far.
> So far I'm doing ok. And the meds have helped. (zoloft and klonopin)
> Take care LW, you seem real nice.
> MuffledThank you Muffled
Posted by LauraBeane on January 11, 2006, at 18:12:54
In reply to Am I being too sensitive?, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 13:50:54
Late to this thread but it reminds me of something that happened recently. I went out to the mailbox to get the mail just as the mailman was delivering. He walks up and comes way too close to me -- ostensibly to put the mail in the mailbox, but I was standing right there holding my hand out for it -- and he says, very intimately, "Are you OK? You look like you're really having a hard time." And then -- "Are you sure?"
Pardon me? I mean, he's my *mailman*.
Posted by gee on January 11, 2006, at 18:15:10
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by LauraBeane on January 11, 2006, at 18:12:54
I'm a bit late here also. I'm glad it doesn't look as bad now as it first did. It's never easy to hear that other people think you might need thearpy. But then again, at least they care enough to mention it. It can't be an easy subject to bring up.
Posted by fairywings on January 11, 2006, at 19:12:50
In reply to Am I being too sensitive?, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 13:50:54
Hi (((LW)))It would greatly depend on who said it and how they said it. for e.g. if my mother in law said it, I'd be offended bec. she's a total idiot. If a concerned friend said it in a kind and loving manner, then I'd probably be okay with it.
Are you okay?
fw> would you be upset if someone suggested you get some therapy because they were concerned that you were having some problems?
>
> I was and Im feeling terribly see-through now
>
>
Posted by fairywings on January 11, 2006, at 19:15:49
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » sleepygirl, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 14:47:47
> My mind is in a bit of a state. I need to tell someone IRL whats happening before more people tell me to get my head checked, Im just embarrassed/afraid.
>
>It is very hard to admit, even to a pdoc, that we are struggling, I know I just went through that, but if it will likely help then please try. You're so warm and kind, maybe the type of person who said it isn't worthy of being your friend.
fw
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 21:00:38
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by LauraBeane on January 11, 2006, at 18:12:54
> Late to this thread but it reminds me of something that happened recently. I went out to the mailbox to get the mail just as the mailman was delivering. He walks up and comes way too close to me -- ostensibly to put the mail in the mailbox, but I was standing right there holding my hand out for it -- and he says, very intimately, "Are you OK? You look like you're really having a hard time." And then -- "Are you sure?"
>
> Pardon me? I mean, he's my *mailman*.OMG,
"no Im not ok, do you want to talk to me about all my problems" lol
Its very stragne when strangers pick up on things
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 21:05:31
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? Legwarmers, posted by gee on January 11, 2006, at 18:15:10
> I'm a bit late here also. I'm glad it doesn't look as bad now as it first did. It's never easy to hear that other people think you might need thearpy. But then again, at least they care enough to mention it. It can't be an easy subject to bring up.
>
>Yeah, and I think I was acting really disorganized, Maybe I did overreact a bit. You're right, at least she cared enough to say something.
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 21:15:08
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by fairywings on January 11, 2006, at 19:12:50
>
> Hi (((LW)))
>
> It would greatly depend on who said it and how they said it. for e.g. if my mother in law said it, I'd be offended bec. she's a total idiot. If a concerned friend said it in a kind and loving manner, then I'd probably be okay with it.yeah, it does depend on the person, I seem to get my back up when people imply Im not strong enough to cope.
but...you know...no one would suggest therapy if they hadnt done it themselves lol> Are you okay?
> fwIm ok, just feeling sh*tty
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 21:17:51
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by fairywings on January 11, 2006, at 19:15:49
> >
>
> It is very hard to admit, even to a pdoc, that we are struggling, I know I just went through that, but if it will likely help then please try. You're so warm and kind, maybe the type of person who said it isn't worthy of being your friend.
>
> fw
>
yeah, especially when we feel terrible, for some reason its harder for me to admit things when Im in the middle of it. Ill see my pdoc soon.
Thanks FW
Posted by daisym on January 12, 2006, at 0:06:42
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » fairywings, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 21:17:51
I have found that caring people suggest what has worked for them. So this acquantaince may have had a positive therapy experience.
And isn't it nice that she felt enough compassion to get involved? Don't be embarrassed that someone noticed you were suffering. If you saw someone's sadness fleet across their face, I bet you would extend some concern.
I'd like to share two experiences. Almost three years ago in late March, I was sitting in my office with the lights off, trying to decide which bridge to jump off of. Seriously. On of my work friends came in and said, "you need help. Please let me know what is happening." All could do was cry. But I swear, she saved me, just by sticking her nose in. She pushed and pulled and a few months later I was in therapy. But for so long I couldn't let down, I couldn't let anyone see but boy did I need a push towards helping myself.
Last year I hired a young woman to work on a new project. She moved to our area to get away from an abusive relationship. We were on a business trip together and she confided that she still had nightmares so she cried out in her sleep. She was embarrassed. I listened and asked her gently how she was helping herself heal. I shared a few ideas. A month later she burst into tears at work. I took her in my office, let her cry on my shoulder and hooked her up with a woman's group. This December she wrote me the most beautiful poem and told me that I was the first person to ever care enough to offer help. I was astonished. And reminded one more time that we never know when a small action on our part makes a huge difference to someone else.
I just wanted to offer a different perspective. I wish you weren't hurting so much.
Hugs,
Daisy
Posted by LauraBeane on January 12, 2006, at 8:28:30
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LauraBeane, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 21:00:38
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 12, 2006, at 8:32:27
In reply to Am I being too sensitive?, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 13:50:54
Legwarmers,
Sorry I am so late on this as well. I can see how a comment about needing therapy might be hurtful.
However, I am guilty of suggesting therapy to people and I truly mean no harm. I have had such a great experience, and it has changed my life so profoundly, that I am on the talk therapy band wagon. And if someone I care about is in pain, I suggest it. Not to be mean or smart or anything like that, just because I genuinely care about the person.
But honestly, I think it all depends on the delivery and spirit to which it was communicated.
Posted by daisym on January 12, 2006, at 11:48:27
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by LauraBeane on January 11, 2006, at 18:12:54
Did you know that Mailpeople (is that Pc?) are trained to spot people in trouble? Often they are the only human contact for older people or shut ins. So if you looked sad or in trouble, he was probably trying to see if you needed help of some kind.
Or...he was being nosey. I don't know? I kind of think it was sweet.
:)
Posted by LegWarmers on January 12, 2006, at 23:21:20
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by daisym on January 12, 2006, at 0:06:42
> I have found that caring people suggest what has worked for them. So this acquantaince may have had a positive therapy experience.
>
> And isn't it nice that she felt enough compassion to get involved?Yeah, I made myself way more upset about it then I needed to.
Don't be embarrassed that someone noticed you were suffering. If you saw someone's sadness fleet across their face, I bet you would extend some concern.
I would, Im embarrassed that I cryed, Im upset Im feeling so sh*tty. But you're right I wouldnt judge someone else like that.
>
> I'd like to share two experiences. Almost three years ago in late March, I was sitting in my office with the lights off, trying to decide which bridge to jump off of. Seriously. On of my work friends came in and said, "you need help. Please let me know what is happening." All could do was cry. But I swear, she saved me, just by sticking her nose in. She pushed and pulled and a few months later I was in therapy. But for so long I couldn't let down, I couldn't let anyone see but boy did I need a push towards helping myself.I so glad she said something!
>
> Last year I hired a young woman to work on a new project. She moved to our area to get away from an abusive relationship. We were on a business trip together and she confided that she still had nightmares so she cried out in her sleep. She was embarrassed. I listened and asked her gently how she was helping herself heal. I shared a few ideas. A month later she burst into tears at work. I took her in my office, let her cry on my shoulder and hooked her up with a woman's group. This December she wrote me the most beautiful poem and told me that I was the first person to ever care enough to offer help. I was astonished. And reminded one more time that we never know when a small action on our part makes a huge difference to someone else.
>
> I just wanted to offer a different perspective. I wish you weren't hurting so much.
> Hugs,
> DaisyThanks for sharing your stories. I think I wasn't in the best place to hear her suggestions as kind or useful but I do now. Im seeing my pdoc tomorrow, I'll use a bandaid for a while.
Posted by LegWarmers on January 12, 2006, at 23:26:29
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 12, 2006, at 8:32:27
> Legwarmers,
>
> Sorry I am so late on this as well. I can see how a comment about needing therapy might be hurtful.
>> However, I am guilty of suggesting therapy to people and I truly mean no harm. I have had such a great experience, and it has changed my life so profoundly, that I am on the talk therapy band wagon. And if someone I care about is in pain, I suggest it. Not to be mean or smart or anything like that, just because I genuinely care about the person.
>
> But honestly, I think it all depends on the delivery and spirit to which it was communicated.Thanks, I think it was more likely done in a kind-spirited way, but the wording was harsh.
Posted by LauraBeane on January 13, 2006, at 10:00:43
In reply to Mailmen (women) » LauraBeane, posted by daisym on January 12, 2006, at 11:48:27
thanks -- You are right, I think "mail carrier" is pc now. Since he is male, I reverted. That makes me wonder how I would have reacted had he been a female mail carrier. Interesting thought.
I didn't know they are trained to spot troubled situations. I am glad for it. I have not seen evidence of it before and I can think of times when an outsider's concern would have been quite appropriate, but that's the way it goes sometimes I guess.
In this case I absolutely felt he was being intrusive and insensitive. Perhaps that's why LW's post resonated so deeply. Is it me or is it him? I'm sure it was him, but I'm biased.
Posted by happyflower on January 13, 2006, at 20:41:50
In reply to Re: Mailmen (women) » daisym, posted by LauraBeane on January 13, 2006, at 10:00:43
I would LOVE it if my mailman stopped to talk to me! :) He is such a hunk! :) HMMMM> I always wanted another kid, LOL Do you think my DH would notice if I got preganant when we haven't had sex in months? HMMMMMM> LOL Just kidding.
I think if someone said what they said to me, epecially someone who I didn't know, I would be sensitive about it too, unless it was said in a joking way.
Posted by LauraBeane on January 14, 2006, at 9:19:05
In reply to Re: Mailmen (women), posted by happyflower on January 13, 2006, at 20:41:50
This is the end of the thread.
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