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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on September 7, 2005, at 1:20:56
Okay, yes, I think my T is a neat person, he actually is but he is no longer on a pedistal from me.
Now could this be because I am now socializing with more people and having more personal but casual relationships with people that the T relationship isn't as rewarding because of the boundries and limitations?
Could it be because my therapy appointment isn't the highlight of my week or life anymore? ( I know it sounds sad that in the beginning it is all I was looking forward to) But now I am looking forward to other stuff and my appointments are becoming less of importance overall.
It is wierd, nothing has changed between us, but yet I think I have changed from being so attached and needy, to someone who is standing on their own two feet. Is this suppose to happen?
I still like seeing him, I still think he is great, but yet I am looking forward to seeing other people and am finding other people are just as important in my life. Just weird. What do you all think? Have I fallen off my rocker?
Posted by alexandra_k on September 7, 2005, at 3:01:38
In reply to Just wondering about therapy relationships life, posted by happyflower on September 7, 2005, at 1:20:56
yay.
progress.
maybe sometime soon you won't be bothered about going at all.
then eventually it will become an annoying inconvenience.
so you will stop.i think...
that is terrific :-)
Posted by luvdove on September 7, 2005, at 6:22:56
In reply to Just wondering about therapy relationships life, posted by happyflower on September 7, 2005, at 1:20:56
wow.. I second what Alexandra said. Sounds like you're getting well! My T has told me me that in order for one to become independent they have to first go through a period of dependency (she said that in an attempt to get me to let go and attach, which I now have), which is where all that transference/needy stuff comes up. I think the move from dependency to independency (which sounds like where you're at)is indicative of you gaining more autonomy and discovering that you can 'be' in the world. I think part of why they put their boundaries etc up is to encourage us to have other intimate relationships, because our needs can never be *fully* met by any T. Like you said, you're starting to stand on your own two feet, how exciting! It must be a bit scary, but definitely sounds like a good thing..
luv
Posted by cricket on September 7, 2005, at 8:14:09
In reply to Just wondering about therapy relationships life, posted by happyflower on September 7, 2005, at 1:20:56
Outside life, friends even. T just another interesting person in your life. I am sooooo jealous.
I can't even make it to the dependency part :-(
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on September 7, 2005, at 8:28:25
In reply to Just wondering about therapy relationships life, posted by happyflower on September 7, 2005, at 1:20:56
You are not off your rocker! You just have a great therapist. He is doing his job, not letting you get dependant, helping you with confidence, etc.
I am the same way. In the beginning, therapy was all I thought about, my T all I thought about. This is really a stage. Now sometimes I am almost annoyed that I have an appointment since it interferes with part of my day. I still enjoy seeing my T, but now I can imagine a life without him. And that is a testament to his talent and professionalism and expertise. He wants me to fly the nest confident and healed.
You lucky girl, you have a T who is doing just what he should!
Posted by Joslynn on September 7, 2005, at 8:28:54
In reply to Just wondering about therapy relationships life, posted by happyflower on September 7, 2005, at 1:20:56
Yes I think that is how it's supposed to happen and no, you are not falling off your rocker. It sounds like you are growing. But it is strange how even healthy growth can feel weird sometimes.
Posted by happyflower on September 7, 2005, at 11:48:18
In reply to Re: Just wondering about therapy relationships l, posted by Joslynn on September 7, 2005, at 8:28:54
Wow! Thanks everyone. I didn't think it was progress but maybe it is. It is just strange not 'needing" him so much when I was so dependent on him before almost to the point of smothering him with my thoughts all the time.
I still have mariage issues to work out, but I wonder if I can do this on my own without his help. Do you think I should tell him how I am thinking and feeling?
Posted by alexandra_k on September 7, 2005, at 15:26:16
In reply to So this is progress? It feels so wierd to me, posted by happyflower on September 7, 2005, at 11:48:18
> I still have mariage issues to work out,okay, so while you have made progress you aren't all cured yet ;-)
>but I wonder if I can do this on my own without his help.
how long have you felt the way you do currently? there might be some movement back to dependency (especially if you are having trouble with something).
>Do you think I should tell him how I am thinking and feeling?
YES!!!!
progress yay :-)
but you want to consolidate that...
and you still have stuff to work on.
Posted by gardenergirl on September 8, 2005, at 23:38:26
In reply to Re: So this is progress? It feels so wierd to me » happyflower, posted by alexandra_k on September 7, 2005, at 15:26:16
Yes, tell him! I think it's great to share how you're feeling about therapy and your T.
And how funny, I use the word "weird" to describe feelings a lot in my therapy. He always asks "weird how?"
:)
gg
Posted by orchid on September 10, 2005, at 20:41:56
In reply to Just wondering about therapy relationships life, posted by happyflower on September 7, 2005, at 1:20:56
I think it is a natural growth process. I also think, you are somehow more resilient a person basically, and hence you probably never needed therapy as much as some of us.
I have felt that way on and off before, and nowadays, most of the days I feel I am fine without any support.
I am sure what you are experiencing is a good thing. Plus do remember that attachment and dependancy is not the only way to like or appreciate a person. In fact healthy liking comes after the intense dependancy and need and attachment are through.
So in case you are perceiving your new independance as a threat to your therapy relationship - don't. It is actually good for both you and your T.
Posted by happyflower on September 10, 2005, at 20:59:41
In reply to Re: Just wondering about therapy relationships life » happyflower, posted by orchid on September 10, 2005, at 20:41:56
Thanks Orchid! So glad to see your posts! :) HOw have you been? Thanks for you response, it gives me something to think about.
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