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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by terrics on September 1, 2005, at 5:24:10
I have a poor relationship with my mother. 3 days ago I felt like I was her; my physical self was her physical self and my internal self was her internal self. I virtually was my mother. This has happened once before. Has this ever happened to any of you? There is one other thing she does not believe. There is something in me that talks to me when I am very stressed. I do not think I am DID. Helen
Posted by Dinah on September 1, 2005, at 8:57:30
In reply to something T does not believe, posted by terrics on September 1, 2005, at 5:24:10
Why on earth would your therapist not believe your internal experience? She might think you see it differently than others would, or experience it in unusual ways. But how can you doubt someone's perspective of inside themselves?
My therapist has sometimes said "I don't think most people would describe it that way." But he has never ever doubted that what I said was true to me, particularly an internal experience.
How has she explained why you wouldn't know what was going on in your own brain?
Posted by pegasus on September 1, 2005, at 9:32:35
In reply to something T does not believe, posted by terrics on September 1, 2005, at 5:24:10
Oh, yes, absolutely I think I know what you are talking about. I feel that way about my sister a lot. At work sometimes I'll suddenly realize that the people around me are seeing *me* and not my sister. It's kind of embarrassing and shocking when it happens. At those times I think I'm unconsciously "being her" because she seems so much more competent to deal with that type of situation. Although I don't have those thoughts consciously. I just feel like her.
My T says that I'm "enmeshed" with my sister. She and I were incredibly close growing up, and she was dominant. So, I have a better sense of her than I have of myself.
Good luck working on this with your T. I am rather taken aback that she wouldn't believe you about this. Why would you make this up? It seems like a valuable clue worth exploring, not something to be critical of.
- p
Posted by B2chica on September 1, 2005, at 10:53:29
In reply to something T does not believe, posted by terrics on September 1, 2005, at 5:24:10
> I have a poor relationship with my mother. 3 days ago I felt like I was her; my physical self was her physical self and my internal self was her internal self. I virtually was my mother. This has happened once before. Has this ever happened to any of you? There is one other thing she does not believe. There is something in me that talks to me when I am very stressed. I do not think I am DID. Helen
i do understand but my experiences are slightly different. i do it with strangers. and it only lasts seconds but i know it cuz everything is so foreign i feel what they feel, think what they think and act how they act.
i've had myself tell myself things (usually actions). it's not a foreign voice like i hear voices, it's my own inner thoughts yet they are foreign to me. my T said it's something called egodystonic (egosyntonic is when it's from within) at the time we were talking about suicide, sometimes i'm the one initiating the thoughts, othertimes it's like some foriegn part of me is saying it.it's similar experiences thought not the same.
either way i guess my point is, your T shouln't NOT believe you? when you think about everything they do is based on what we tell them. why now, why not this one thing you've chosen to say. Maybe she thought you were self diagnosing (which i don't think you were doing, you were just talking about feelings) but some therapists like to jump to conclusions and fit people into little boxes and will certainly tell you if they don't think your in one.
anyway. sorry, it must be really frustrating. but i'd tell her this. ask her why she chooses this one thing you've said not to believe. Even for arguements sake you don't do this, you are still reporting that you do...it should be discussed! not ignored or thrown to the side.-sorry, i don't mean to put down your T at all i just get a little frustrated at situations like this. i'm VERY often misunderstood and/or not believed. i hate it.
b2c.
Posted by B2chica on September 1, 2005, at 10:54:26
In reply to Re: something T does not believe » terrics, posted by B2chica on September 1, 2005, at 10:53:29
my not being believed or misunderstood is by people in general not by my T.
Posted by terrics on September 2, 2005, at 11:23:20
In reply to Re: something T does not believe » terrics, posted by B2chica on September 1, 2005, at 10:53:29
Hi, You said soething interesting and I think you are right. She does think I am self-diagnosing even though I did not diagnose anything. I have no idea what it is or why it happens. I even told her that no one talks to me inside and that it is just thoughts so I did not have to deal her disblief. So now I am lying to keep her happy. terrics
Posted by B2chica on September 8, 2005, at 10:32:38
In reply to Re: something T does not believe » B2chica, posted by terrics on September 2, 2005, at 11:23:20
>>I even told her that no one talks to me inside and that it is just thoughts so I did not have to deal her disblief. So now I am lying to keep her happy. terrics
this does not sound like a very theraputic relationship. maybe you've just outgrown what she is able to provide for you. would you consider shopping around for a new T?
my T may be leaving sooner rather than later (i knew this going in but hate it anyway). but he want's me to have some overlap with a new T. i just saw her yesterday. for a woman, she seems pretty ok, but i said i'd go in with an open mind and really try. so i went in, ACTUALLY showing my sad feelings (which that alone is an accomplishment for me and women) anyway, within 5 minutes she wanted to send me off to the hospital. on the one hand i don't blame her, she doesn't know me but how can i get help with my depression and suicidal thoughts if i can't discuss them without being tossed to someone else?
anyway...she may have self ejected on that move. but we'll see what my alternatives are.
wooops, tangent...anyway, my point to you is, if you can't openly discuss your issues what's the point? they need to know all of what's pertinent to what's going on inside you. they need to accept your word otherwise any advice from them is moot.
i hope this will work itself out.
best wishes
b2c.
Posted by terrics on September 9, 2005, at 0:26:11
In reply to Re: something T does not believe, posted by B2chica on September 8, 2005, at 10:32:38
Hi, I staightened this stuff out with my T. I told her that I thought she did not believe what I said. She asked where I got that idea, and she does believe me. She made me feel safer about talking to her. I trust her more than any T. I have had. I guess I just mis-read her.
Good luck with your new T. I guess you like men Ts better than women Ts. terrics
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