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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Augustina on June 3, 2005, at 20:36:12
How do you go about telling your T how you feel about him/her and what the relationship means to you?
I've always found this to be a difficult area for me to discuss during my session though I'd really like to b/c it's always on my mind in between appointments! I know it's fear of "looking" too dependent, or fear of rejection (though the rational me knows he wouldn't reject me). Is it supposed to be "easy" for clients to tell their therapists how much they mean to them?
Posted by Jazzed on June 3, 2005, at 21:23:02
In reply to How Do You Guys Do This?, posted by Augustina on June 3, 2005, at 20:36:12
Maybe try the conversations out in your mind to see how they'd play out. How long have you been with your T? I think that makes a difference. Maybe as an ice breaker, start with something like, "I just wanted to let you know that feel really cared for in therapy, thank you."
Jazzy
Posted by Shortelise on June 3, 2005, at 22:25:10
In reply to How Do You Guys Do This?, posted by Augustina on June 3, 2005, at 20:36:12
None of it is easy.
ShortE
Posted by pinkeye on June 3, 2005, at 22:34:24
Be grateful - but don't develop any personal attachment.
Posted by pinkeye on June 3, 2005, at 22:35:08
In reply to Yeah. IT is not easy. Don't develop attachment., posted by pinkeye on June 3, 2005, at 22:34:24
Damn.. I keep making mistakes again and again these days. Above post should really belong in the thread above that.
Posted by daisym on June 4, 2005, at 0:58:58
In reply to How Do You Guys Do This?, posted by Augustina on June 3, 2005, at 20:36:12
I agree wit ShortE - it isn't easy.
My therapist use to bring it up - I'd say something about someone else and he'd "wonder" if I felt that way about him too. It was really hard to admit but he helped me a lot.
Two years later, I've gotten used to talking about our relationship, but each new feeling is difficult. But it feels really important now that I tell him how I feel and we try to figure out why.
Often you simply have to promise yourself that you WILL speak up and then MAKE yourself. I think it is OK to ask for help too: "I want to talk about something but I think I need you to help me with it. So if you could ask questions, that might make it easier on me."
Good luck. Let us know how it goes.
Posted by namaste on June 4, 2005, at 8:05:54
In reply to Re: How Do You Guys Do This? » Augustina, posted by daisym on June 4, 2005, at 0:58:58
Go ahead, trust. Say how you feel, it might surprise you! I told my therapist of 3 years just recently that I love her after struggling with this and she said she loves me too! I think the realtionship with the therapist is practice for other relationshops and one day maybe other intimate relationships might replace the therapeutic one. It is very hard, i just finally made myself do it and blurted it out.It was a huge releif, i still have trouble saying I miss her between sessions.
Posted by Augustina on June 4, 2005, at 8:28:32
In reply to How Do You Guys Do This?, posted by Augustina on June 3, 2005, at 20:36:12
I really appreciate all your input on this.
I will be in therapy 2 years at the end of this month and have been feeling this need to express some of my feelings about him TO him for some time now.
I think I will make an extra effort to bring up this subject at next week's appt. Thank-you so much for the encouragement!
Posted by Jazzed on June 4, 2005, at 15:18:05
In reply to Re: How Do You Guys Do This?, posted by namaste on June 4, 2005, at 8:05:54
It is very hard, i just finally made myself do it and blurted it out.It was a huge releif, i still have trouble saying I miss her between sessions.
Wow, that you did it, and her reaction to you are tremendous! We should all be so brave, AND so fortunate. I think some Ts are just uncomfortable with the influence they have over us. Oh well..........
Posted by sleepygirl on June 4, 2005, at 16:52:41
In reply to How Do You Guys Do This?, posted by Augustina on June 3, 2005, at 20:36:12
That was really hard for me...SO HARD. It think in the beginning I wrote it down, gave it to my T. I even made art for my therapist. Good luck :-)
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