Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 490806

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

missing my T :(

Posted by happyflower on April 28, 2005, at 10:41:27

I don't know why I am missing my T. I saw him this Monday, it was a great session. Time goes so quickly lately. I feel like I need more time! lol I hate when says our time is up. Plus I don't get to see him next week, but I am already missing him already. How do I get through these 2 weeks? What does all this mean ? Why do I miss him so much? It is like I NEED him. A new feeling for me. I feel like he is intentionally putting space between us. I think he is feeling this too. I don't know I am so confused. I trust he is doing the right thing, but it is so hard not to see him. Is any of this making sense, or am I just a babble idiot?

 

Re: missing my T :(

Posted by LadyBug on April 28, 2005, at 11:30:06

In reply to missing my T :(, posted by happyflower on April 28, 2005, at 10:41:27

I relate to how you are feeling. I'm just finishing waiting my 2 weeks between appointments. I missed mine too. I get to go tomorrow. I know how hard it is to go see your T. and the time goes by much to quick! I hate it too. My t. did call my on Tues. this week and leave me a voice mail to say she had been thinking about me. This made me feel so good. She NEVER calls me out of the blue like that. I always have to call her first and ask her to call me.
Sometimes the longing you feel for your T. can hurt so much. I do it more than I care to. I hope when you see your T. again, you can talk about it with him.
In the mean time. Try to do what you can to keep him in your thoughts so you can feel hi close to you. And do some nice things for yourself as well.
Hang in there! Write here as much as you need to.
LadyBug

 

Re: missing my T :(

Posted by happyflower on April 28, 2005, at 11:40:38

In reply to Re: missing my T :(, posted by LadyBug on April 28, 2005, at 11:30:06

Thank you Ladybug! I do have a photo of him that I found on the internet. It helps to look at it when I am missing him. I don't know if I want to talk to him about this. I have been seeing him every week by my request, he normally sees most of his clients every 2 weeks. When he went to schedule me he said is 2 weeeks okay. I guess I should of asked him why I can't see him next week. The session went so well, and I don't want to seem too needy. Could it be he wants to do a serious session next time(EMDR) and he wants to put some distance between us, so he can not be so much like a friend. I don't know, I am just feeling confused. It is scary to need someone or to depend on them. My DH hasn't been there for me lately, and we are having issues, so maybe thats why I am reaching out to my T instead of my DH. My mind is just spinning out to control. :(

 

Re: missing my T :(

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on April 28, 2005, at 12:23:46

In reply to missing my T :(, posted by happyflower on April 28, 2005, at 10:41:27

Happyflower,

When I first started therapy almost 2 years ago, I was like you. Missing my T the day after a session and the next week couldn't get here fast enough.


I think this is perfectly normal. And it lessens over time. ONce you get what you need out of therapy, the longing lessens. I now go every two weeks and while I miss my T occasionally, I don't think about him constantly the way I used to.

So just know that as time passes, these feelings will more than likely become much less intense. And your T may sense you are NEEDING him which may be why he is putting space between you.

My T said from the get go he didn't believe in clients becoming dependent on him and he has done a fabulous job of that. It may seem somewhat cruel in the beginning, but I believe the time termination comes around, it will make things much easier for you.

 

Re: missing my T :( » happyflower

Posted by Tamar on April 28, 2005, at 12:32:25

In reply to Re: missing my T :(, posted by happyflower on April 28, 2005, at 11:40:38

Yeah, I think it’s a good idea to ask him if you can see him every week, since you want to. If he has a reason for wanting to see you every two weeks, he should be able to explain it to you in a way that you can accept.

I had to wait four weeks between sessions at one point. I didn’t think I’d be able to face it; I thought by the time four weeks had passed I’d have melted into a little puddle of transference. But somehow I got through it. One hour at a time; one day at a time.

> My DH hasn't been there for me lately, and we are having issues, so maybe thats why I am reaching out to my T instead of my DH.

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there. If you’re able to talk to you T about all this when you next see him, it should give you some relief from the mind-spinning.

Hang in there!

Tamar

 

Re: missing my T :( happyflower

Posted by LadyBug on April 28, 2005, at 14:41:56

In reply to Re: missing my T :(, posted by happyflower on April 28, 2005, at 11:40:38

I know what you mean by feeling needy. And my hubby isn't there for me either, NEVER. So it makes me feel really needy. I recently read something about being needy and being in therapy. It said that I would either be too dependant on my T. or I would withdraw and be angry with her. Since reading that, I have been trying so hard to stay in the middle of these two things. Things are going a bit better for me since then. I know how your feeling. And having issues with your DH is contributing to you feeling needy towards your T. Been there myself.
LadyBug

 

i know your pain..((((happyflower))) hang in there (nm)

Posted by shrinking violet on April 29, 2005, at 18:42:26

In reply to Re: missing my T :( happyflower, posted by LadyBug on April 28, 2005, at 14:41:56

 

Re: i know your pain..((((happyflower))) hang in there

Posted by happyflower on April 29, 2005, at 18:50:10

In reply to i know your pain..((((happyflower))) hang in there (nm), posted by shrinking violet on April 29, 2005, at 18:42:26

Thanks everyone! Only 10 more days to go. :(


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