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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Poet on April 8, 2005, at 18:18:56
She says regressing is progress- it's a positive thing in therapy. It means that I am feeling emotions I did as a child when no one paid attention to my whining and crying. I am projecting this onto her, which is why I am afraid of her.
Part of therapy is projecting feelings onto her and that's okay. She knows it's progress, even though I don't think it is.
Well, I still don't think it is. I told her that I hate to be lied to. She said she never lies to me, but really, progress is feeling like a vulnerable kid instead of a strong adult?
Anybody else's T think regression is progress?
Poet
Posted by pinkeye on April 8, 2005, at 18:27:17
In reply to T says regressing/feeling like kid is progress (?), posted by Poet on April 8, 2005, at 18:18:56
I think for emotions to grow up, it needs a different path than for our logic. Logically, we might think regressing and going to a bad state again is bad for the learning curve. But apparently, for emotions, it is probably a needed thing for learning. Our emotions work differently than logic.. mostly they work by picturizing and what I think may be associating things.. So maybe regressing and then associating a better outcome with it is the right way for emotions to get cured.
I was reading a book yesterday where to cure anxiety and panic, Ts sometimes intentionally provoke anxiety and panic and then associate that with a calm and relaxing music or scene.. Maybe what is happening to you is also soemthing like that.
Posted by pinkeye on April 8, 2005, at 18:28:43
In reply to T says regressing/feeling like kid is progress (?), posted by Poet on April 8, 2005, at 18:18:56
Maybe allow yourself to regress, but then make sure you associate that with something else positive and healing, so you become healed?
Posted by daisym on April 8, 2005, at 19:36:22
In reply to T says regressing/feeling like kid is progress (?), posted by Poet on April 8, 2005, at 18:18:56
My therapist would completely agree with yours. I swear he does a happy dance when I admit to these little kid feelings. He invites them, he labels them and we work with them. Sometimes you have no choice but to allow that part of you to come forth and speak. It *is* the way to heal. Your childlike feelings need to be expressed, accepted and held. I'm glad your therapist thinks this is progress and will help you through it. I know it is really scary and mind-blowing. But I think you will connect to her in a deeper way than you have before, because this other part really needs her.
It is very discombobulating to feel like a little kid...haven't we worked really hard to be grown ups?! But it is the truth about what you are feeling. Let it out in the safety of her office.
The big question is: what does this younger part need to say and how do *you* feel about *her*? I still have such a hard time with all of this, the parts and pieces. But I no longer disallow it, I just can't comfort that part of myself yet. I'm working on it.
(((Poet)))
Posted by fallsfall on April 8, 2005, at 19:41:03
In reply to T says regressing/feeling like kid is progress (?), posted by Poet on April 8, 2005, at 18:18:56
There are theories that say that people have to go through particular stages to grow up properly. If you didn't get through a particular stage, then (according to these theories) you need to go back to that stage (i.e. regress) in order to be able to finish growing up. I'm not explaining this well...
But yes, it is not unheard of for therapy to bring you back to a previous step and then give you an opportunity to progress in a healthier way from there.
You can talk to her about how this regression will be temporary - ask her to reassure you about this. And the regression doesn't have to be maintained between sessions. I believe it is possible to regress and then function "normally" and then regress again (preferably in sessions??).
When people here talk about "ego states" they are often talking about regressing.
It can be really scary. But if you trust your therapist, it can be really helpful.
Posted by Shortelise on April 9, 2005, at 0:37:57
In reply to T says regressing/feeling like kid is progress (?), posted by Poet on April 8, 2005, at 18:18:56
Yes indeedy, yup, I have been through that, and my therapist encouraged it.
I had all sorts of feelings I couldn't name, couldn't describe even. Lots of body feelings. Lots and lots of sadness. I found safety with him, though, regressed to that place where I was not safe, and learned what it felt like to be safe there, and grew from there. Poet, it helped so much.
There is another wonderful side to regression, and that is that I recaptured some of the wonder I felt.ShortE
Posted by Poet on April 9, 2005, at 18:08:55
In reply to T says regressing/feeling like kid is progress (?), posted by Poet on April 8, 2005, at 18:18:56
Posted by Poet on April 11, 2005, at 18:38:19
In reply to Re: T says regressing/feeling like kid is progress (?) » Poet, posted by pinkeye on April 8, 2005, at 18:28:43
Hi Pinkeye,
I've been trying to write things down for my T to read (I hand it to her as I run out the door...) Adult me is censoring what regressed kid needs to say. If I can get myself to stop doing that, then this regression will be progress.
I will try to think of something positive and healing to associate with. Good idea!
Poet
Posted by Poet on April 11, 2005, at 18:52:04
In reply to Re: T says regressing/feeling like kid is progress (?) » Poet, posted by daisym on April 8, 2005, at 19:36:22
Hi Daisy,
At least my sometimes a bit far out there therapist is in agreement with yours. She is practically begging me to admit those kid feelings. I think she'd sing and dance if I did.
T keeps telling me to write, but I'm censoring anything that little kid me wants to say. I rip it up. I have poetry that I wrote when I was a teenager (lots of it, nobody, but me has ever seen it) and I'm trying to get myself to just bring it to her and let her read it on her own. That scares me just writing it to you.
I hope that we both can let it out in our Ts offices. If you can do it, I can do it. It'll just take time, lots of time. Sigh.
Poet
Posted by Poet on April 11, 2005, at 18:57:58
In reply to Re: T says regressing/feeling like kid is progress (?) » Poet, posted by fallsfall on April 8, 2005, at 19:41:03
Hi Fallsfall,
I hope this ego state is temporary. I am going to talk to my therapist about it being temporary.
I trust my T more than I trust anyone else, but I still don't trust her more than about 60 percent. I hope this regressed part of me is able to overcome adult me and let some of this out.
Thanks for your insight.
Poet
Posted by Poet on April 11, 2005, at 19:05:56
In reply to Re: T says regressing/feeling like kid is progress (?) » Poet, posted by Shortelise on April 9, 2005, at 0:37:57
Hi ShortE,
My therapist is definitely encouraging these feelings as hard as I am fighting them. I hope that I can go back to that place where I wasn't safe, find safety and grow like you did.
Thank you for sharing your experience and encouragement. This is so hard for me, it helps to hear a positive story from someone's who has been through it.
Poet
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