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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shrinking violet on April 6, 2005, at 18:26:21
Hi everyone,
I apologize for cluttering up the boards with my nonsense lately. But I figure while I'm on a roll, I may as well go all the way and ask for some feedback on a goodbye gift for my T.Here's what I've come up with so far:
1) Along with a gift (see below), I'm thinking of giving her an audio CD with some of my final thoughts on it. As opposed to writing her a letter....since I've given her so many writings over the past two years, and I think my written musings are losing their effectiveness....andn since she values the spoken word more (obviously), of which I've given her too little....I thought it would be more meaningful to "say" my final "letter" to her which she can then play on her cd player. Any thoughts on this? Stupid idea? The only thing is, I'll die if she wants to listen to it when I'm there with her, as I HATE the sound of my voice. :-/
Gift ideas:
1. "Magic Beans" http://www.brylanewishes.com/brylanewishes/product/product_pr.asp?pf_id=63890&dept_id=5934&search_token=1
Why this gift: I know my T likes to garden, and I thought this could symbolize all of the things she has taught me and shown me over the past two years with her.2. T.S. Eliot's "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats"
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0151686564/qid=1112826255/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-7867898-8403853?v=glance&s=books
Why this gift: My T loves to be read to (I'm one of the few people who knows this about her) and she enjoys books and reading, and she loves cats (she has two of her own), so I thought this gift would provide her with some enjoyment (and I could inscribe it with something like, "May you always find someone willing to read to you...")3. Weeping Buddha Figurine
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=6168930697
Why this gift: My T is Buddhist, and I came across this one day online, and I like the idea behind it, that it can absorb the negative energies and worries of its owner...and given a T takes on others worries, I figure this way she can give them to the statue and not shoulder them all herself.4. A while back, I came across an anecdote in a book about how, in ancient times, when two strangers met and became friends but then had to depart, they would break a clay pot and each keep a piece, so that they would know each other if they met again in the future. I really like the symbolism of that story, and I like the idea of my T having the only other half to a whole (so-to-speak). But I can't find the story online anywhere, and I'm not sure handing her a piece of broken pottery would go over too well. Still, the idea behind it appeals to me, so if anyone comes up with any ideas along these lines, I'd appreciate it.
Of course, other ideas are welcome.
So, opinions? I'm almost tempted to get her all of the above, since they aren't terribly expensive and I'll never see her again, and each gift sort of represents a different part of her and/or our time together, so what the hay....But I don't want to look like I'm going overboard either.
So, I don't know.
I'm not even sure if this gift idea will come to fruition....It all hinges on whether I'm able to have at least one more session with her after next week's, but in the meantime I thought I'd gather some feedback.Thank you. I apologize again for the silly post(s).
SV
Posted by LadyBug on April 6, 2005, at 21:14:04
In reply to Goodbye Gift.....Ideas/feedback, posted by shrinking violet on April 6, 2005, at 18:26:21
I really liked those beans. The are pretty neat. But then again, I think in terms of something my T. could put on her shelf and keep there for years to come. I love things that symbolize the relationship. I've looked casually over the years for such a thing for the day I'm shopping for a good bye gift. I've seen a picture of an adult holding on to a child's hand. That reminds me of therapy. I gave my T. a darling figurine of a little girl a few years ago. She has it on her shelf. I like it there as it makes me feel like there is a part of me that is with her each day, my little girl inside. I took the little girl home a few weeks ago and told my T. she needed to hang out somewhere else. I was angry at the time. The following week I took her back and put her on the shelf. We talked about it. I said, this little girl is so adorable how could anyone hurt her? But it happens. As it happened to me. I didn't get the love and nurturing I needed as a child so I have lots of issues.
Maybe you could give her a stone for her garden that has something on it that would symbolize your work with her. I love rocks, stones or whatever.
I've always thought a Bonsni plant would be cool too. They last for years and symbolize growth, the growth you have made with your T. She could keep it in her office and it would remind her of you and it wouldn't take up much space. You could tell her that though you are leaving, you will continue to grow as this plant will continue to grow with the right care.
If I think of any other ideas I will let you know.
I know you want it to be just the right thing.LadyBug
Posted by thewrite1 on April 6, 2005, at 22:40:45
In reply to Goodbye Gift.....Ideas/feedback, posted by shrinking violet on April 6, 2005, at 18:26:21
Just wanted to say I love your ideas. Any one of those would be great. I hate my voice, too, and probably wouldn't do that with my T just 'cause I'd feel like I was torturing her. That's just how I feel about my voice.
Posted by happyflower on April 6, 2005, at 22:47:32
In reply to Goodbye Gift.....Ideas/feedback, posted by shrinking violet on April 6, 2005, at 18:26:21
I love your ideas! I have never seen those bean before! Another idea is since she likes gardening, is to get her some summer or fall bulbs to plant in her garden. They will last for years and every time they come up, they will remind her of you and the good job she did with you. If she like roses, there are many roses with names like peace, serenity, grace, etc.. Or I know back in the victorian times it was not proper to talk about your emotions so they just gave certain flowers to mean different things that they were feeling. Good luck, let us know what you do!
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on April 6, 2005, at 23:43:33
In reply to Goodbye Gift.....Ideas/feedback, posted by shrinking violet on April 6, 2005, at 18:26:21
Posted by Shortelise on April 7, 2005, at 0:33:32
In reply to Goodbye Gift.....Ideas/feedback, posted by shrinking violet on April 6, 2005, at 18:26:21
I love the idea of the weeping Buddhist.
I also like the idea of bulbs she can plant in her garden - maybe ones that naturalize, so they'll go on and on and on (if you're anything like me, that'll remind her of you :-)).
Bonsai plants are very specialized, and require careful care. They die fairly easily if you don't know the basics - they aren't like other plants. I have had one for about 15 years, it's now about 30 years old, and I must be very careful with it. It would be a pity if you gave her something that died later.
I am going to give my T a drawing or painting I've done since I've been seeing him. I think I'll give him one of the early ones that are so full of turmoil.
There is an indoor (tropical) plant called a maternity plant that has little babies that drop off and root.
Something that will remind her of your success. Something she can keep in her office, and if ever she is discouraged about one of her clients, she might look at it and be reminded of how well you did. That's one of the reasons I like the idea of the weeping Buddha.
I love Eliot's Old Possum's etc.. I've always had a copy, for as long as I can remember. There is a version that's illustrated by "Edward Gorey" that is glorious, absolutely my favourite edition.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0571105580/drbobsvirte00-20Hope this helps.
ShortE
Posted by alexandra_k on April 7, 2005, at 1:35:28
In reply to Re: Goodbye Gift.....Ideas/feedback » shrinking violet, posted by Shortelise on April 7, 2005, at 0:33:32
I love T.S Elliot.
Did peoples know that Andrew Loyd Webber put it to music for Cats???I didn't know that till a couple years later.
Amazing that it turned out so well to music.
Posted by shrinking violet on April 7, 2005, at 11:04:53
In reply to Goodbye Gift.....Ideas/feedback, posted by shrinking violet on April 6, 2005, at 18:26:21
Hi everyone,
I'm at work right now so I can't respond in length to everyone as I'd like, but I want to thank you all for your input so far. I think I'm definitely going to go with something for her garden, if not the magic beans, then something that she will be able to plant and have it regrow every year, I really like that idea (although, I admit I know nothing of plants or flowers, or which of these would be the best to get her?). Also, I've never seen her garden, and given that she is in a wheelchair I'm not sure if it's a traditional garden or one that is in a flower box...? So, I need to make sure it would fit and be unobtrusive, etc. And, again, I know nothing of flowers or plants (so any help in this area would be very much appreciated!)....But I still also like the Buddha figurine and the book as well....
As for things she could keep in her office, she already has a painting that I painted her, hung on her wall, that I gave her for Christmas. So, unless she takes it down after I'm gone (I keep thinking she will...), she'll have that to remind her. Also, I gave her a mug she uses to drink tea out of at meetings, and she has a small glass bottle filled with stones that I also gave her, sitting on her bookcase. So, I don't want to go overboard and have her office turn into some sort of shrine to me. :-P
Other opinions, ideas, would be very helpful. Thank you all so far!!
I just hope Tuesday's session goes well enough so that 1) I get another and 2)I'll actually *want* to give her a gift after I see her again...
SV
Posted by Poet on April 7, 2005, at 22:06:33
In reply to um, so yeah, I'll just get her everything....lol, posted by shrinking violet on April 7, 2005, at 11:04:53
Hi SV,
I vote for a buddah for her garden. Very peaceful and thoughtful (just like you!)
Take care.
Poet
Posted by Pfinstegg on April 7, 2005, at 23:56:02
In reply to Re: um, so yeah, I'll just get her everything....lol » shrinking violet, posted by Poet on April 7, 2005, at 22:06:33
A thought for a flower for her garden. If you aren't in too hot a climate, what about a day-lily? My favorite is "Happy Returns". It blooms profusely in June and early July, and if you dead-head it (remove the dead blossoms), it will start blooming again a little throughout the summer, and then a lot from September through Thanksgiving. It requires very little care- fertilizing once a year, and deadheading (it will bloom a lot even if you don't do that). They go on year after year, getting fuller and prettier. I have never had one die on me. "Happy Returns" is a wonderful light yellow color, and is a miniature- about 18 inches high. You can put them in a large pot or in the ground. It's considered one of the easiest plants to own. so it might really suit her. You can buy them in most garden centers, and can also order one from White Flower Farms in Connecticut.
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