![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 21 to 45 of 45. Go back in thread:
Posted by daisym on January 12, 2005, at 19:00:37
In reply to Re: I hate therapy. (Longish) » Daisym, posted by mair on January 12, 2005, at 17:12:26
I don't think it is a coincidence. I've been researching (of course) and there are a number of studies that point to medication as "threatening to the theraputic alliance." I guess, as in all things, you need balance.
I talked about this with my therapist today. I said I was worried that I was afraid to get better. He said he thought it was more that I was worried about losing him. If I was better, wouldn't that mean I didn't need him? He tried to reassure me that he wasn't sending me away, nor did he wish for me to stop sharing all this pain with him. He was simply wishing for more rest for me. I'm trying to believe him...
Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2005, at 19:04:47
In reply to Re: I hate therapy. (Longish) » mair, posted by daisym on January 12, 2005, at 19:00:37
Daisy, it really is a question of medication choice. SSRI's have always blunted my emotions. A bit of Klonopin or Risperdal help me deal with emotions stirred up. Completely different thing. A bit of Depakote helps my migraines and also seems to contribute to stability without affecting how I feel at all.
They've got me on Luvox (an SSRI) right now, and I'm plotting how soon I can decently stop it and conveniently forget to tell anyone.
But even on max dose Luvox, I was perfectly capable of being completely miserable.
Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2005, at 19:08:49
In reply to Re: I hate therapy. (Longish) » mair, posted by daisym on January 12, 2005, at 19:00:37
And as you know (I'm sure) in matters of psychology for every study there's an equal and opposite study. After all, we can't exist, right? Skepdic.com says so. There are convincing studies that say that if you don't talk to ego states, the patient stops making them up for attention. Sigh.
I tend to believe the middle of the road.
Research is good, but make sure you don't bias the results of your research by selective attention. I tend to do that when I have strong feelings about one thing or another.
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 12, 2005, at 19:58:38
In reply to Re: Seminar - Sorry, Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2005, at 14:05:19
> The Psychology board is bailing on the PB birthday party so that we can all go to Daisy's neck of the woods so that our therapists can learn to be better therapists at the hands of a master and we can have fun gossiping about them after we all meet them.
Should we just have the party there? :-)
Bob
Posted by daisym on January 12, 2005, at 20:01:26
In reply to Re: Seminar, posted by Dr. Bob on January 12, 2005, at 19:58:38
Absolutely! It is warmer here anyway and the rain has stopped. I bet I can arrange a tour of the Jelly belly factory as well as wine tours.
We would, of course, want you to be a featured speaker too. :)
Posted by fallsfall on January 12, 2005, at 22:03:56
In reply to Re: Seminar » Dr. Bob, posted by daisym on January 12, 2005, at 20:01:26
Any ice cream factories nearby?
Posted by annierose on January 12, 2005, at 22:09:39
In reply to Re: Seminar » daisym, posted by fallsfall on January 12, 2005, at 22:03:56
Starbucks?
Well ... if there's wine, we may not need the coffee.
Posted by daisym on January 13, 2005, at 0:02:17
In reply to Re: Seminar, posted by annierose on January 12, 2005, at 22:09:39
We have Ben and Jerry's in SF and a Cold Stone and Starbucks across the street from my office. I happen to have an "in" with Dryers too...
I make great brownies and cinnamon rolls too. Is that enough to entice you?
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2005, at 4:12:14
In reply to Re: Seminar, posted by daisym on January 13, 2005, at 0:02:17
I'm all set. I'll tell my therapist our plans today. :)
Posted by fallsfall on January 13, 2005, at 6:26:33
In reply to Re: Seminar, posted by daisym on January 13, 2005, at 0:02:17
I may need to word it as "A conference on Internet Support Groups". Somehow I think his ego would get in the way if I said "Daisy's therapist is going to teach all of you how to be wonderful".
Posted by annierose on January 13, 2005, at 6:49:55
In reply to Re: Seminar » daisym, posted by fallsfall on January 13, 2005, at 6:26:33
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2005, at 18:59:26
In reply to Re: Seminar » daisym, posted by fallsfall on January 13, 2005, at 6:26:33
My homework assignment before *tomorrow's* session is to find posts that show instances of why we all think our therapists could use some tips from Daisy's.
Anyone got any bookmarked?
Posted by gardenergirl on January 13, 2005, at 19:18:28
In reply to Mine didn't find it nearly as amusing as I do, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2005, at 18:59:26
Interesting assignment. I wish I had some bookmarked, but I don't.
I would love to hear his response to what you find, though.
Oh, and I don't plan to tell mine. I really don't talk much about Babble, and things feel a bit rough right now on my end. Something about being needy again. (yuck, hate hating that.) No sense potentially rocking the boat more than it is already.
gg
Posted by mair on January 13, 2005, at 19:40:54
In reply to Mine didn't find it nearly as amusing as I do, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2005, at 18:59:26
I don't have any bookmarked, but they've got to be easy to find on every page, together with the ever popular refrain: "I want daisy's therapist."
I'm with GG, though, I told my T today i was back on the Board, but I don't think I'll share the wonders of daisy's therapist just yet.
For the moment, her stengths are far more obvious to me than her weaknesses.
I can't wait to hear his reaction however.
Mair
Posted by Annierose on January 13, 2005, at 21:13:43
In reply to Re: Mine didn't find it nearly as amusing as I do » Dinah, posted by mair on January 13, 2005, at 19:40:54
None bookmarked, but I remember how wonderful he was to Daisy right before he went on vacation, I believe in August .. he gave her the talisman and photo.
Dinah, I just love this about you. You seem to be able to talk about everything with your T. I need to work on this. I even think about some of these threads while I'm in therapy.
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2005, at 21:16:08
In reply to Re: Mine didn't find it nearly as amusing as I do, posted by Annierose on January 13, 2005, at 21:13:43
I remembered that and found it. :)
I want to drown him in them. A virtual seminar. :D
Posted by annierose on January 13, 2005, at 22:25:21
In reply to Re: Mine didn't find it nearly as amusing as I do » Annierose, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2005, at 21:16:08
Please let us know how this went!!
Are you feeling better as a whole? I read your other posts. You have me a little worried. I find a long bath helps me too. Is it hard to take a deep breath?
Good Luck with your job. Did you and your father use to do the same line of work? I ask that because you mentioned that it wasn't fun working anymore without your father. It's hard going to work everyday when you do not feel valued or trusted. It takes even more energy to be productive, so much gets wasted on anger.
Posted by Dinah on January 14, 2005, at 6:34:10
In reply to Re: Mine didn't find it nearly as amusing as I do » Dinah, posted by annierose on January 13, 2005, at 22:25:21
I worked for over twenty years for my father. And I'm now wondering if what I thought was just the way things were there were that way only because I was the bosses daughter and they couldn't act the way they wanted to. I had thought after twentyfour years, things wouldn't have changed too much. And Daddy's been mostly retired for four years or so and things hadn't changed. But I get the distinct feeling they're flexing their boss muscles and putting me in my place. Having freedom and being trusted to do my work correctly were some of the very few upsides in what is an extraordinarily draining job that is very very bad for my health. People generally either thrive or crash and burn early. My father drank. The happiest I ever remember him was when I was working with him, because there was someone to share the load with. I was happier to have someone to share the load with too.
I'm going to create a resume. A very short one, I suppose. :) I don't know how long this will work.
Posted by Annierose on January 14, 2005, at 9:00:50
In reply to Re: Mine didn't find it nearly as amusing as I do » annierose, posted by Dinah on January 14, 2005, at 6:34:10
Dinah -
I used to work for/with my father too. But from the sound of it, you enjoyed that experience and cherished it. My dad fired me a few times. I finally left and opened my own business. But I know what you mean about being the bosses daughter. I always worked harder to prove myself to the other employees and in the end, they did look up to me. When I visit now, they always ask me to come back (my father doesn't though ... hmmm). Do you mind sharing what type of work you do? I'm in retail. My dad operates a hugely successful independent speciality grocery store (I have 2 siblings still in that business). I opened a speciality stationery store (think wedding invitations, baby/bridal shower, printing, card & gift store). I'm much happier not working there, but there are HUGE issues with the second generation and succession ... fodder for therapy. It's amazing. It's like I'm invisible.Getting back to original thread ... let us know what his reaction is to all the talk of Daisy's T
Posted by Dinah on January 14, 2005, at 19:34:48
In reply to Re: Mine didn't find it nearly as amusing as I do » Dinah, posted by Annierose on January 14, 2005, at 9:00:50
Well, I wouldn't idealize the experience. Because I was related, he yelled at me *a lot*. My therapist used to think it was a completely toxic environment for me to be in. Until Daddy partially retired. Then the symbiotic nature of the relationship became clear. Daddy may have treated me badly, but he was a much needed buffer between me and the rest of the world.
And we did get very close. And he was happier then than ever. Daddy felt loved when he was taken care of. He could call me to fill his tape dispenser or whatever. "Diiiinaaaah" would echo down the halls. :)
It was stressful, but not nearly as stressful as not working for him. I guess it helped that we actually liked each other. He drove me nuts at times, but I admired his intelligence and wisdom, not to mention his strict integrity.
I'm sorry you're working relationship didn't work as well. And yes, I've seen the chaos that can result. :(
Posted by Dinah on January 14, 2005, at 19:38:04
In reply to Re: Mine didn't find it nearly as amusing as I do » Dinah, posted by mair on January 13, 2005, at 19:40:54
We didn't get to it yet. I brought the posts but we didn't have time to read them. He'd rather have his fingernails pulled out than read something while not being paid, so I gave it to him but we'll not get to it till next time.
I only gave him the vacation ones. No need to overwhelm him with perfection all at once.
(Besides, when I was pulling up some of the examples, I realized that he could honestly say to a lot of it "But I do that too.")
He still needs the seminar.
Posted by ghost on January 15, 2005, at 9:42:36
In reply to I hate therapy. (Longish), posted by Daisym on January 11, 2005, at 10:12:06
i wrote recently somewhere else that therapy to me is like debriding a wound... you're poking and prodding at these wounds just trying to heal, bring up the old nastiness that makes it feel worse before it gets better. seems counterproductive.
however, in the end, the wound is better off and heals up with only a small scar left behind. at least, that's what i'm hoping for.
ghost
Posted by Susan47 on January 15, 2005, at 10:02:07
In reply to Re: I hate therapy., posted by ghost on January 15, 2005, at 9:42:36
What you say rings true for me, too.
When stuff comes up, I just sit there staring at the rug, never knowing what to say.
I look at the rug, then the bookshelf.
Then the rug again.
I usually start to feel quite resentful, like, "Why am I the one sitting in this chair? This doesn't feel right"
The more important the issue, the more resentful and threatened I feel.
Don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again.
I really need a therapist I can write to.
Posted by ghost on January 16, 2005, at 9:11:42
In reply to Re: I hate therapy. » ghost, posted by Susan47 on January 15, 2005, at 10:02:07
that's exactly it... like it feels like some kind of punishment or something?
I haven't even worked up to fully trusting the T yet. but maybe one day i will. and then i'll have to try writing to her because i won't be able to talk.
Posted by Susan47 on January 16, 2005, at 19:20:33
In reply to Re: I hate therapy. » Susan47, posted by ghost on January 16, 2005, at 9:11:42
Absolutely, it does feel like punishment. Yes, you put your finger on the right word. I get resentful, and feel like a little kid being chastised. So it's really hard to listen to anything even slightly negative coming from the other chair. Fortunately, I don't think I've had too much negativity thrown my way in therapy. Mostly it's been my own negativity that hurts me.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.