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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2004, at 16:32:45
Ok, so I started seeing a T from my uni when I wasn't working with anyone. Then a couple of weeks later my p-doc offered to give me psychotherapy. So I have been working with them both for a couple of months now. My p-doc can only see me fortnightly, though, and that really isn't enough though he says that it is the best he can do. I see the T from varsity every week.
A month or so back I told T2 (from varsity) about my p-doc giving me psychotherapy. She didn't mind because she said that our university service is supposed to be short term and so she couldn't work with me unless I was getting outside support as well. She did say, though, that she couldn't really keep seeing me without him knowing because it is (understandably) considered unethical to see someone else's client without them knowing.
I said I'd tell him. I was going to. But then I thought about it some more and decided that nope I wasn't going to do it. I have everything to lose. If he gets pissed at me then I could end up with nothing. I told her that I'd changed my mind and that maybe it would be best if I stopped seeing her. She said 'nope, you aren't ready to talk about this yet, I'll bring it up again in a couple of weeks'. But I am not going to change my mind. But she won't accept it when I say I won't see her anymore. But I am not going to change my mind. I am not sure whether I should just send her an email saying I won't be going back. Or whether she will figure out that I am not going to change my mind soon enough...
My p-doc only offered to give me therapy becuase nobody else would. I am worried that he will withdraw his offer if he thinks he can dump me off onto someone else.
I feel all guilty about this, like I am keeping secrets. But then fortnightly isn't enough. It is not.
Posted by pegasus on November 17, 2004, at 18:01:10
In reply to The ongoing saga of the two T's..., posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2004, at 16:32:45
So, let me make sure I have this straight . . .
Your pdoc sees you fortnightly, and can't see you any more frequently. But he will see you indefinitely at that frequency.
Your university T sees you weekly, but can only do it for a short period of time. Once you stop seeing her, you have no one else to see.
Under these circumstances, I would personally not tell my pdoc. As you say, he might dump you, and then when your time with your univ T runs out, you'll have no one. That seems pretty understandable to me. Can your explain that to your univ T? When it comes down to it, you have to take care of yourself.
pegasus
Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2004, at 21:17:08
In reply to Re: The ongoing saga of the two T's... » alexandra_k, posted by pegasus on November 17, 2004, at 18:01:10
Yup, that is pretty much right. Usually our university service sees people for a max of three sessions. But she has agreed to see me weekly. But she can't committ to how long she can do that for. She said that she would be unwilling to see me if he stopped seeing me.
I have tried to explain to her that if he takes it badly then I will end up with nothing and that I am not prepared to do that, but she still says it is unethical for her to see me without him knowing.
But I think you are right, I am not going to tell him. Thanks for replying.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 18, 2004, at 0:11:28
In reply to Re: The ongoing saga of the two T's... » pegasus, posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2004, at 21:17:08
I was supposed to see my p-doc today. I go all the way into town and when I arrive reception tries telling me that he is on anual leave today. Then they check the book and say 'oh, you are scheduled in for 3.00'. Bollocks, I should be scheduled in for 2.00 (our regular time). I wait until 3.10 anyway and he doesn't turn up. They tried to contact him (incase he's up at hospital doing an admission or something) but couldn't.
Rationally I understand that something must have come up.
But emotionally it hurts really bad.
Why can't feelings even try just a little bit to be rational sometimes???
Posted by Bent on November 18, 2004, at 11:20:07
In reply to and then he doesn't even show up., posted by alexandra_k on November 18, 2004, at 0:11:28
I know what you mean. It seems like the intellect and the emotions just cant communicate clearly. The intellect knows this was probably an accident or that something came up. But the emotions go crazy. It hurts. This happened to me once. My T had left for the day and i showed up for my 4:00 appointment. I cried going home. How could she forget me? I felt so unimportant. If she hadnt handled it in the way she did it could have been detrimental to our relationship.
Has your T gotten in touch with you? Try to keep cool and rational. I know its hard but mistakes happen. Talk to him about how you feel when you see him.
Posted by alexandra_K on November 18, 2004, at 16:40:54
In reply to Re: and then he doesn't even show up. » alexandra_k, posted by Bent on November 18, 2004, at 11:20:07
I just sent him an email 'what happened to our appointment yesterday?'. A few years back I went all the way in to see my T and was told that she had to cancel. I was so upset that I SI'd. Then she phoned the next day and said that she was in a car crash and had to go into hospital. I felt so bad after that. But I learned my lesson about jumping to conclusions about missed appointments.
It is hard, though, that emotions seem to just ignore reason sometimes. Grr.
Posted by Dinah on November 18, 2004, at 17:17:06
In reply to and then he doesn't even show up., posted by alexandra_k on November 18, 2004, at 0:11:28
Completely rational. If someone has an appointment they're either supposed to keep it or contact you. Very occasionally there may be valid reasons for why it couldn't be kept, but even in that case a certain amount of (perhaps unexpressed) irritation seems reasonable. Your time has value.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 18, 2004, at 17:50:50
In reply to Seems rational to me, posted by Dinah on November 18, 2004, at 17:17:06
Thanks Dinah. Yeah, it was a waste of a whole afternoon.
This is the end of the thread.
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