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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Cass on October 5, 2004, at 13:46:28
My sex drive has recently returned after being mostly absent for several years. It's great to be enjoying that pleasure again, but for me there is a downside. I find that when my sex drive is absent, I feel more mature and in charge of myself. I feel like a self-respecting adult. When it comes back, I feel like I'm not fully in control of myself. I feel diminished somehow. It's not like I'm engaging in promiscuous sex. I'm married, and I only have sex with my husband, but I've started having fantasies about some of his friends, and that makes me feel guilty. My sex drive is very high right now, so I also have trouble focusing on tasks because all I can think about is sex. I'm having lots of sexual fantasies throughout the day. I know there are worse problems to have, but this is effecting my self-esteem.
I don't know if it's a coincidence or not, or a hormonal thing, but my frustration level in general is pretty high right now. I get bent out of shape pretty easily.
Posted by shortelise on October 5, 2004, at 23:15:37
In reply to Sex drive, posted by Cass on October 5, 2004, at 13:46:28
Are you in your 30's?
My libdio was just jumping (no pun intended) when I was in my 30's. It was great. My husband and I both enjoyed it a lot, often, in many places and ways. I would get pretty grumpy if he wasn't in the mood, would feel hurt sometimes, too.
Fantasies are fantasies. I've never seen a reason to feel guilty about them.
Are you dealing in therapy with how you feel about the sexual you?
ShortE
Posted by Cass on October 6, 2004, at 10:17:14
In reply to Re: Sex drive, posted by shortelise on October 5, 2004, at 23:15:37
Hi Shortlie,
Thanks for your reply. I'm past my thirties now. My sex drive disappeared for some latter years of my thirties, and it was extremely high during my 20s and my early thirties.
I suppose you're right about not feeling guilty about fantasies. I just feel that they are interfering with life a little bit. This sex drive is a mixed blessing.
When my sex drive went away for years, I was really suprised about how much better I felt about myself. Strange, huh? Like I said, I felt so in charge of myself. I started to feel like an adult.
I'm looking for a new therapist right now. So I guess I'll have to talk about my sexual identity with her. Maybe I have some things to work out. It is nice feeling all this excitement and pleasure. For some reason, it just seems to come with a price.
This is the end of the thread.
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