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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tinydancer on September 5, 2004, at 4:26:17
I would really like to hear from anyone who has had a serious habit for many, many years and managed to quit. Right now I'm in a major struggle to quit biting my nails. I have been biting them for 20 years, maybe even longer. I don't just bite them, I practically rip off the nail itself, as well as picking and tearing the cuticles off and more or less destroying the nail bed completely. Needless to say this has over time, deformed the nail.
About a month ago I felt like quitting. I haven't really had any desire to before, except for my wedding and I didn't manage. I quit by stopping biting one nail at a time, while biting the others, until I reached the point I am now and have been for about a month: I do not bite the nails at all.
I wanted to stop because:
1)People obviously could make a lot of judgements about my personality just by looking at my nails
2)It was painful to go around with swollen, bleeding hands all the time
3)It diminished my self esteemWe've been talking in therapy about it a lot, and dealing with the biting urge, because it is still there and its horrible! The other problem is that the amount of energy I use fighting the urge has caused my psychotic symptoms to go in overdrive, so I'm having a lot of hallucinations and hearing a lot more voices (difficult voices, like ones that won't stop)
Right now I feel like quitting this whole thing because it seems pointless, but I feel like I can't because no one believes in me, and I want to prove I can do this.
What are some of the techniques you have used to combat quitting a long habit?
Posted by tinydancer on September 5, 2004, at 4:26:57
In reply to Bad Habits Quitting, posted by tinydancer on September 5, 2004, at 4:26:17
Posted by fallsfall on September 5, 2004, at 12:20:23
In reply to Bad Habits Quitting, posted by tinydancer on September 5, 2004, at 4:26:17
My sense is that the urges get stronger after you quit for a while before they start to dissipate. So it doesn't surprise me that you are having more trouble now.
Two suggestions:
Can you paint your nails or put on fake nails to make it more "in your face" that you want to make this change?
Can you substitute some other nervous habit for the nail biting to get through the hardest time? Like carry a water bottle everywhere you go (they are acceptable in almost all social situations) - you can fiddle with the cap, or the label, trace the contours of the bottle. Different brands have differently shaped bottles, I have found many many ways to discharge energy with water bottles... Or carry something in your pocket (I carry a rabbit's foot - fiddle qualities plus comforting (soft) qualities), you can put your hand in your pocket and fiddle (usually without anyone knowing), or if it is socially acceptable (like in therapy...) you can pull it out and fiddle. Pocketbooks, rings, bracelets, watches, necklaces can also provide ways to release nervous energy. [I do find that I "need" the waterbottle and rabbit's foot more or less at different times. I guess that at some point I hope that I can "give them up", but in the meantime, they aren't hurting anyone and having water with me is healthy.]
I am really impressed that you are doing this. These kinds of habits are incredibly hard to break. Allow yourself some crutches a long the way.
Good luck!
Posted by shortelise on September 5, 2004, at 22:56:56
In reply to Re: Bad Habits Quitting » tinydancer, posted by fallsfall on September 5, 2004, at 12:20:23
I quit biting my finger nails by biting only my thumb nail. I bit only my thumb nail for about 6 months, and then quit that.
I have completely wrecked on of my teeth from biting my nails for 28 years, and biting my hair. I now have to be very careful with that tooth or I will lose it. My other teeth are perfect.
It felt ****really good**** to quit biting my nails. Really good!!!! I highly recommend it.
Now if I could just stop with my hair.
ShortE
Posted by tinydancer on September 6, 2004, at 1:34:06
In reply to Re: Bad Habits Quitting, posted by shortelise on September 5, 2004, at 22:56:56
When does the "really good" feeling kick in? Right now I just feel like crap!
Posted by sb417 on September 6, 2004, at 2:20:57
In reply to Re: Bad Habits Quitting » shortelise, posted by tinydancer on September 6, 2004, at 1:34:06
Hello tiny dancer. Congratulations on quitting nail biting! I was wondering whether you exercise on a regular basis? I've been exercising regularly for a number of years now, and I must say that many of my nervous habits "magically" disappeared when I made exercise a regular part of my life. Exercise is the best antidepressant/anti-anxiety agent that I know of. It greatly reduces tension that might otherwise manifest itself through nail biting, nervous eating, smoking etc. Before I made exercise part of my daily routine, I was a nervous wreck, and I was quite obsessional. I think it's very difficult to get rid of some habits entirely. Right now, the best I can do is to substitute healthy habits for the unhealthy ones. By the way, exercise doesn't have to be all drudgery. Pick something you enjoy doing, and you're more likely to stick with it. By the way, are you a dancer, tinydancer? Do you attend regular dance classes? Moving to music is a wonderful way to express your emotions, and it's great exercise, too.
Posted by shortelise on September 7, 2004, at 0:39:50
In reply to Re: Bad Habits Quitting » shortelise, posted by tinydancer on September 6, 2004, at 1:34:06
I sterted feeling good about it when the first bit of white nail showed up , and it grew with the length of the nail. As I let those white bits grow longer and longer, I felt better and better about it.
I would sometimes get angry at someone and bite them all off. I would be so upset with myself!
Another thing that really helped was that I never went anywhere without a nice new emery board. I filed my nails to keep them even, so as they grew out they were nice, not jagged because then I was tempted to bite them. By filing them a lot, I kept all those tempting bits filed down.
My cuticles, I got a good pair of scissors and made sure that I kept the hangnails trimmed.
I also got a nice handcream, and put it on regularly.
It is HARD! But I did it, so maybe you can too. I bit my nails for 24 years, and I used to use biting them as a way of expressing anger and anxiety.
My hands are not pretty - I have small, square, capable hands, not the beautifully proportioned, feminine hands I would love to have. My nails are short and sensible. Like me!
ShortE
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