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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on August 4, 2004, at 10:21:59
I have a question about this. One of our members is having an affair with her therapist and she states in one post that she's terrified of getting another t who won't be available to her when she needs him outside of therapy.
How common is this, and what are the coping methods used when one is feeling extreme anxiety (i.e. at two in the morning) but has attached to her therapist?
Posted by lucy stone on August 4, 2004, at 10:34:17
In reply to Therapists being available outside therapy, posted by Susan47 on August 4, 2004, at 10:21:59
I am very attached to my T and he is available to me outside of therapy. During work hours I can call him and he always calls back as soon as he can, usually within 2 hours. He calls between session, though, so we can only talk for a few minutes. He has a pager for urgent situations outside of work hours. I have used it once in 4 years. He also gives he a number where I can contact him when he travels for work or vacation. I have never called him when he is out of town but I appreciate the gesture. If I called rountinely outside of office hours we would talk about it I am sure and try to find out why I needed so much extra contact. I already see him 4x/week so I have plenty of access.
Posted by Poet on August 4, 2004, at 11:00:17
In reply to Therapists being available outside therapy, posted by Susan47 on August 4, 2004, at 10:21:59
Hi Susan,
My therapist has always been very open to talking to her outside sessions. She gave me her home phone number and told me to call her anytime I need her, but she won't answer in the middle of the night.
If I were in a real bad state at two in the morning I would wait it out until 8 and then call her. The ER option is there, too. I came close to being hospitalized last Spring and it scares me, but it's way to stay safe.
Poet
Posted by DaisyM on August 4, 2004, at 11:05:59
In reply to Therapists being available outside therapy, posted by Susan47 on August 4, 2004, at 10:21:59
I think it completely depends on what you are working on in therapy. If you are working on trust and opening up, you would probably be encouraged to call in when you are really stressed out. If you suffer from anxiety "all the time" then you would probably be working on coping methods with your therapist.
There are a wide variety of coping methods that people use. Babble is a huge one for me, I write when I'm stressed. Journaling or writing letters "as if" you are talking to your therapist is another.
Having real life friends or family who understand what is going on is a great one, if you can get it. For some of us, our issues are so private that we feel we can't share. Other people here have talked about support groups that they get a lot out of. Some people run, or do other kinds of exercise, some listen to music... My son has a whole arsenal of breathing exercises and visualizations he was taught. (He is 12)
Ideally, one would get a place where their therapist is internalized. This way they have them at 2am, at least in their heads.
In my own therapy, we talk a lot about the concepts of attachment, safe base and internalization. He feels the part of me that was so badly damaged by the sa was my ability to trust that anyone else could help me emotionally. So learning that he can, and will, has been huge. This means regressing to needing him a lot, touching base, very much like a young child does. The idea being that this trust will strengthen me, globalize and I'll be able to move further and further from my safe base and trust other people too. It is a slow process. It does not mean that I act like a dependent child all the time and can't live my life without talking to him every 2 seconds. And if my life hadn't gotten so overwhelmingly complicated, I would never have thought I needed emotional support or help from anyone else.
It is my understanding that when you become overwhelmed to the point of not functioning in your day-to-day life, medications are a good choice.
Posted by Susan47 on August 4, 2004, at 11:15:26
In reply to Re: Therapists being available outside therapy, posted by DaisyM on August 4, 2004, at 11:05:59
Beginning to realize I had a very bad therapeutic relationship, in part because I was simply unable to meet his financial agenda.
Posted by DaisyM on August 4, 2004, at 13:58:11
In reply to Re: Therapists being available outside therapy, posted by Susan47 on August 4, 2004, at 11:15:26
What does that mean, financial agenda? Did he give you the impression he was "in it for the money"? Ouch. I would agree that this is not the thing to base your relationship on.
Posted by Susan47 on August 4, 2004, at 19:11:06
In reply to Re: Therapists being available outside therapy, posted by DaisyM on August 4, 2004, at 13:58:11
Good question. What does that mean. I suppose it means that he was a very cold person outside therapy. He never inspired any trust for me to be able to ask him for anything.
Isn't that interesting.
This is the end of the thread.
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