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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 19:11:06
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » SandyWeb, posted by Elle2021 on July 15, 2004, at 14:21:54
(((Elle)))
Have you told your pdoc about these voices? I'm almost afraid to bring it up to mine. Who wants to admit that they hear voices, right?
Like you, I can't imagine ever even THINKING the horrible curses that my guy says. I'm wondering if maybe it's things that we've heard in movies or tv programs, and since everything we've ever heard is supposedly saved in our brains, it comes out this way??? Or maybe things we've read in books??? Because I certainly couldn't come up with these sentences myself! Although I really don't know why my voices are MALES.
I wish you all the best, hun!!
Hugs,
Sandy
Posted by Elle2021 on July 15, 2004, at 19:37:01
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » Elle2021, posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 19:11:06
Hi Sandy,
> Have you told your pdoc about these voices? I'm almost afraid to bring it up to mine. Who wants to admit that they hear voices, right?I have told my therapist. She was pretty good about it. I really hope that you can tell your pdoc about the voices you hear soon. He will know the right questions to ask you so you and figure out what is going on. Please especially mention to him the part you said about being able to hear a radio and just barely being able to hear the dj. That sounds particularly important to me.
> Like you, I can't imagine ever even THINKING the horrible curses that my guy says. I'm wondering if maybe it's things that we've heard in movies or tv programs, and since everything we've ever heard is supposedly saved in our brains, it comes out this way??? Or maybe things we've read in books??? Because I certainly couldn't come up with these sentences myself!
I'm not sure how those thoughts pop into my head. For me, the things "she" says just are not thoughts I would normally have myself. Some of them I find completely terrible. I think your theory about having heard them in a movie, tv, read them in a book is just as valid as any other theory. We will get to the bottom of this.
>Although I really don't know why my voices are MALES.
That is interesting isn't it. When they say something to you, do you answer? Out loud or do you respond by "thinking" your answer. Have you ever tried asking either one of them to be quiet?
You may want to read this thread:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040703/msgs/364407.html> I wish you all the best, hun!!
I wish you all the best too!
((((Sandy))))Elle
Posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 20:31:33
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » SandyWeb, posted by Elle2021 on July 15, 2004, at 19:37:01
Hi Elle,
I began to read some of the messages in the thread you mentioned. I know exactly about dissociating!! I have it happen in highly stressful situations. I just had it happen in my last session with my "team" last week. My pdoc's voice was so far away, and when I talked, I was talking through a tunnel. So I stopped talking, other than to say yes or no. I do NOT like feeling so disconnected. But, just like me, I can't let anyone even have the slightest suspicion that I'm anything other than all there. *smile*
Now, as to your comment about the music and the dj that I hear. Why do you think that is important to mention to my pdoc? I can't make out what the dj is saying, and I can't even really tell what the music is. But it certainly is outside my head, and sounds like it's coming from the walls and ceiling. Almost like an AM station. Ick, huh? Lol.
As for the voices, I most certainly do NOT answer the fowl voice. He is just too vulgar and disturbing. I do not want to spend any amount of time on remembering his words. The quicker I get away from him, the better.
As for the other male voice, yes...sometimes I will answer him and he answers IMMEDIATELY right back. We can have a high-speed conversation, without any pauses to think. Just boom-boom-boom. But he never says anything bad at all. He just likes to yak and yak. I don't know who he thinks he's yakking to. *smile*
No, I've never asked them to be quiet. Have you asked yours? I don't want to communicate with the fowl voice. I'll never admit to him that I hear him. As for the other guy....well, he doesn't seem to be doing any harm. Other than I can't sleep when he gets really excited and noisy. Lol.
Are you on meds for your voices? Is it okay to hear the voices? Mine didn't start until this whole mess began about a year and a half ago. Before that, it was just little ole me in this body. Lol. How about yourself?
Take care!
Sandy
Posted by Elle2021 on July 16, 2004, at 15:40:20
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » Elle2021, posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 20:31:33
>My pdoc's voice was so far away, and when I talked, I was talking through a tunnel. So I stopped talking, other than to say yes or no. I do NOT like feeling so disconnected.
Oh yeah, I know what you mean. The voice sounds far away and the entire room looks "wavy."
>But, just like me, I can't let anyone even have the slightest suspicion that I'm anything other than all there. *smile*
:) It might actually be a good idea to let him know. You mentioned you don't like it, and there are a few techniques he can teach you to help it a little bit. Things like breathing. It helps me to pick an object and describe it throughly.
> Now, as to your comment about the music and the dj that I hear. Why do you think that is important to mention to my pdoc?
It just seems like an important symptom to me. It couldn't hurt to look into it. There was a thread several months back that someone wrote. Said that she could hear music playing constantly. I think she mentioned it sometimes sounded like an orchestra!
> As for the voices, I most certainly do NOT answer the fowl voice. He is just too vulgar and disturbing. I do not want to spend any amount of time on remembering his words. The quicker I get away from him, the better.
How do you get away from him?
> No, I've never asked them to be quiet. Have you asked yours?
Yes, when she starts talking I tell her that I am the one in control here and she needs to be quiet. Usually she stops after I tell her to.
>As for the other guy....well, he doesn't seem to be doing any harm. Other than I can't sleep when he gets really excited and noisy. Lol.
Oh my! That must be frustrating sometimes!! What do you do when he won't be quiet?
> Are you on meds for your voices?I was on Chlorpromazine, but I don't take it anymore. I do take it when I get hypomanic.
>Is it okay to hear the voices?
I can't really answer that. It's hard to say. We all have an inner-voice, but I'm not sure where we start to distinguish it between healthy and problematic. I'm not sure.
>Mine didn't start until this whole mess began about a year and a half ago. Before that, it was just little ole me in this body. Lol
Hmm, I read your other post and it sounds like you had some really traumatic things happen to you. I'm sorry if I already asked this, but what is your dx?
>How about yourself?
I think my voices started about 2 years ago. I remember creating "people" to talk to when I was younger. I began having inner-conversations with myself? about the trauma I was going through. Maybe that's why I here the voice now. I'm dxed with PTSD, OCD, depression, panic disorder, etc... ugh! lol :)
> Take care!You take good care of yourself too!! It's so good talking to you.
Elle
Posted by TexasChic on July 16, 2004, at 16:13:29
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices?, posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 8:26:08
>But I do hear music outside my head. It sounds like a radio station. I can almost hear the DJ talking over the music.
I just wanted to say I experience this too. Its not loud like some people have described. Its almost inaudible. The harder I try to listen the more it seems to fade out. What struck me about your post was that you said it sounds like its coming from the ceiling or walls. That's exactly like mine! The odd thing is, one time I was talking to my Mom about it, and she said she hears it too. We both speculated about whether someone could actually be in the attic or walls listening to a radio, but decided it wasn't really possible. I kind of think maybe its a hearing thing.
Posted by SandyWeb on July 16, 2004, at 18:43:22
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » SandyWeb, posted by Elle2021 on July 16, 2004, at 15:40:20
>
> Oh yeah, I know what you mean. The voice sounds far away and the entire room looks "wavy."<His voice and MY voice sound far away. And I'm not connected to my body. I feel like I'm about a couple inches to the side of my body. And the room, and everyone in it, seem like a dream. I hate it because I know I look normal on the outside, and I have to continue to act normal. Scary stuff.
> :) It might actually be a good idea to let him know.<I suppose it would be a good idea to let him know that I'm not connected, but I just can't do that. I still have the very strong value of handling my difficulties by myself. I can not accept help. I haven't really learned....or want to learn, for that matter...how to tell someone that I'm in trouble. I have to handle it by myself.
> How do you get away from him?<The fowl male takes a lot of energy to get away from. I have to focus on my prayers to God. Even though, sometimes he still is able to throw in a couple more HORRIBLE curses....right in the middle fo my talk with God. And then I pray even harder, asking for forgiveness. By focusing on God strong enough, and not allowing the fowl male to draw me into a discussion with him, I am able to eventually get him to go away.
> What do you do when he won't be quiet?<
The other male voice comes around a lot more than the bad guy. I don't really do anything when he won't shut up. Sometimes I listen to his ramblings, sometimes I chat with him, other times I just wish he would be quiet long enough so that I could sleep through the night. But he's not a bad guy at all.
> I'm sorry if I already asked this, but what is your dx? <I've never told my doc about the voices...or about a lot of other things...so I'm sure I have more "wrong with me" than what they have listed in the medical records. Lol. One doc said I had social phobia with avoidant personality behavior. Another doc said that I didn't have a mental disorder other than that I CRACKED. Lol!! But I'm sure they would have more to say if I told them everything.
Have yourself a wonderful night.
Sandy
Posted by SandyWeb on July 16, 2004, at 18:45:39
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices?, posted by TexasChic on July 16, 2004, at 16:13:29
> Its almost inaudible. The harder I try to listen the more it seems to fade out.<
That's interesting. Actually, when I turn my attention to it, the music and male dj become MORE audible. But I tend to try to ignore it and just leave it as background noise.
Take care!
Sandy
Posted by shadows721 on July 18, 2004, at 2:14:25
In reply to Have I been hearing voices?, posted by holymama on July 14, 2004, at 12:24:00
Holymama,
Personally, I think that you would know if you indeed had heard voices.
Dissociatives hear them "inside" their heads. It can be static, music, noises, voices (male, female, child, or adult). Dissociatives also have auditory flashbacks. In other words, they will have a flashback of hearing anything from their past. As a child, I used to hear my name called when no one was there. That too was a flashback.
Schziophrenics hear the voices or noises "outside" their heads. An example: A person may think the person on the tv is talking directly to them.
I started writing down what the voices say. The other day I heard, "I WAS ROBBED." Then, I had dreams about my wallet being stolen with my identification. In another dream, I had my wedding ring guard stolen. With me, I believe the voices are trying to tell me something that I have not consciously accepted or realized.
Medications can have an influence on hearing things too. Some can make things quiet and some can make your mind a noise box.
Posted by Elle2021 on July 18, 2004, at 3:37:13
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » Elle2021, posted by SandyWeb on July 16, 2004, at 18:43:22
> His voice and MY voice sound far away. And I'm not connected to my body. I feel like I'm about a couple inches to the side of my body. And the room, and everyone in it, seem like a dream. I hate it because I know I look normal on the outside, and I have to continue to act normal. Scary stuff.
I completely agree. I think dissociating is so vexing. It always happens to me in my therapist's office. I try to fight it, but after it's started, it's hard to fight it. I guess sometimes I appreciate it, but just not in my T's office.
> I suppose it would be a good idea to let him know that I'm not connected, but I just can't do that. I still have the very strong value of handling my difficulties by myself. I can not accept help. I haven't really learned....or want to learn, for that matter...how to tell someone that I'm in trouble. I have to handle it by myself.Well... You have taken the step to see a pdoc, and in a way that was/is asking for help. And you have asked for help here. So, in a way you've made a lot of progress. :)
>How do you get away from him?<
> The fowl male takes a lot of energy to get away from. I have to focus on my prayers to God.So through refocusing, that is a good idea.
>Even though, sometimes he still is able to throw in a couple more HORRIBLE curses....right in the middle fo my talk with God.
That almost sounds like OCD to me. I've experienced the same thing and I know how extremely uncomfortable I feel when it happens.
What do you think the foul male wants from you?
I don't know what "she" wants from me. I asked her and she doesn't answer.
Elle
Posted by Elle2021 on July 18, 2004, at 3:38:49
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices?, posted by TexasChic on July 16, 2004, at 16:13:29
Could it be Tinitus maybe?
Elle
> I just wanted to say I experience this too. Its not loud like some people have described. Its almost inaudible. The harder I try to listen the more it seems to fade out. What struck me about your post was that you said it sounds like its coming from the ceiling or walls. That's exactly like mine! The odd thing is, one time I was talking to my Mom about it, and she said she hears it too. We both speculated about whether someone could actually be in the attic or walls listening to a radio, but decided it wasn't really possible. I kind of think maybe its a hearing thing.
Posted by holymama on July 18, 2004, at 15:36:02
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices?, posted by shadows721 on July 18, 2004, at 2:14:25
Hi shadows,
Wow, that is a realy interesting idea to write down what your voices say. I'm fascinated by the idea that the voices are trying to tell you something you have not become conscious of yet, like dreams may be doing. I'm going to try that; that is, if I start hearing them again.
I've never thought much about disassociation. I suppose I do it.
I'm intrigued by all of this.
Posted by SandyWeb on July 22, 2004, at 10:45:06
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » SandyWeb, posted by Elle2021 on July 18, 2004, at 3:37:13
Hi Elle,
How are you doing today?
Sandy
Posted by partlycloudy on July 22, 2004, at 17:14:07
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » Elle2021, posted by SandyWeb on July 22, 2004, at 10:45:06
She has decided to leave Babble :( , see further down on this board. Very sad and undoubtedly wise on her part.
(I wonder if she will lurk and read, though.)
Posted by SandyWeb on July 27, 2004, at 8:55:55
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » shadows721, posted by holymama on July 18, 2004, at 15:36:02
Good morning,
I have to admit that I've developed a new "voice" over the past 2 1/2 weeks. I've only heard it three times so far, but it is DEFINATELY outside my head.
I hear someone whisper "Sandra". I actually will spin around and go look for the voice, thinking one of the kids is hiding around the corner or has whispered to me from within their bedrooms. But.....no one is ever there.
I have NEVER gone looking for a voice. But this one sounds like they are in the same apartment with me. It's a little bit on the scary side.
The other voices, other than the music, have always been inside my own head. I call them "my second brain". But this new one is totally different. I don't like hearing my name whispered.
Do you think hearing voices becomes more intense according to the pressure one is under? Do you find that the voices tend to fade off when you are in a more stable environment? If I could just stop flip-flopping up and down all day long, maybe this new voice wouldn't have been created??
Take care!
Sandy
Posted by gardenergirl on July 27, 2004, at 9:51:31
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices?, posted by SandyWeb on July 27, 2004, at 8:55:55
Sandy,
This sounds frightening. I am sorry you are going through this. Please consider sharing this with your team. It may actually be an effect of medication. Sometimes if the dopamine system is too stimulated by meds it can result in hallucinations.Please take care.
((((Sandy))))
gg
Posted by SandyWeb on July 27, 2004, at 15:57:17
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices?, posted by gardenergirl on July 27, 2004, at 9:51:31
Hi gg,
I no longer have a "team". Short-term follow-up ended today, smack on my backside. I'll be starting the Day Treatment Program next month.
I won't be telling anyone, other than you guys here on Babble, very much about myself. I'm not about to mention that I "hear voices". They would probably tell me that I was imagining it. Well...duh!!! I mean, they're not REAL voices. They just SOUND real.
I'm very, very, very, very dissappointed in this whole psychiatry business. They don't GET it.
Anyways.....the last time I heard the whispering was yesterday. Maybe I just need to cocoon myself and stay away from people. Nothing much to offer anyways.
Gotta go. Amazing Race is on tonight.
Sandy
Posted by holymama on July 27, 2004, at 16:53:02
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices?, posted by SandyWeb on July 27, 2004, at 8:55:55
Hi Sandra,
I DEFINITELY think that voices or any other symptom of brain dysfunction gets worse with stress. Any illness does. I know that when I have been having a 'nervous breakdown' (I've had what would qualify 3 or 4 times), my body and mind are under quite a bit of stress, and I start 'hearing' things outside of my head. I also start wondering if things I've heard have come from my children, or from my childrens' toys. I have to look around for the source of the voice. THis only happens when my body and mind are at its breaking point.
Why do you not have any mental health care? Why do you not have anyone to talk to about this? With kids, you need to take your health as a #1 concern, or else the whole family will be suffering. I'm not preaching, I'm talking out of experience. I have 3 young ones and I can't properly mother them if my mental or physical health is out of whack. I hope you're going to make it your priority to FIND a team to work with. Do you have a supportive husband or other family? I know that the whole mental health field can be frustrating to work with, but please try to stick with it until you find the right people who you can trust and who will support you in your desire for health. They are out there!!!!! I'm on my third pdoc in 6 months, and finding a new doctor requires work, but it is worth it to find someone who will be with you for a long while.
~~Autumn~~
Posted by TexasChic on July 27, 2004, at 17:07:57
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » gardenergirl, posted by SandyWeb on July 27, 2004, at 15:57:17
I was just thinking, if you don't share all your symptoms with your doctors (like the voices), they won't be able to treat you for it. I mean, what if you have a condition entirely different than what you/they think and it could be kept in control with the right meds? Now I'm not saying I don't understand your hesitation, because believe me, I do. I know I don't share all with the doctors. I just thought it might be something to consider.
Posted by SandyWeb on July 27, 2004, at 17:19:49
In reply to Re: Just a thought » SandyWeb, posted by TexasChic on July 27, 2004, at 17:07:57
Hi, thanks for your advice.
Actually, my "team" was only for a follow-up interim until I got into the Day Treatment Program. The follow-up had to do with my short-term stay on the crisis unit after I slit my wrist. So, basically, the follow-up was only concentrating on my coping abilities. It had nothing to do with any other factors. And when I mentioned some other "problems", I was told in no uncertain terms that the "team" was not there for therapy for me outside of the suicide attempt. *sigh*
So....now I go through a 6-week Day Treatment Program that is mainly just trying to raise your self-esteem and all that other wacky stuff. It has nothing to do with any type of mental health issues outside of trying to make you feel better about yourself.
THEN...after the six weeks, I can have another assessment and be referred to a counsellor of some type if I want it. I suppose THAT would be the time I'd mention voices and all the other problems....like still being suicidal! *sigh*
I think this whole process is ridiculous. I could be DEAD by the time I finally get to see a counsellor...who may not even be a pdoc!
Sorry....it's just been a really crappy day. My appointment made me feel be-littled today....and left me out on my own....just when I had told them that I didn't want to hoof this alone. *sigh*
Take care.
Sandy
Posted by SandyWeb on July 27, 2004, at 20:09:58
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » SandyWeb, posted by holymama on July 27, 2004, at 16:53:02
Hi Autumn,
What a beautiful name you have! My name is so standard.....how neat to have a unique name!!! Your mum knew what she was doing, sweetie!!!
Yes, I agree with you. I find that my "second brain" becomes very aggressive when I'm unstable. But I don't know what to make of this new edition. It seems like this whisper is something entirely different from my experience with the other voices. I don't like it at all. And it can't be right to go looking for it, right?? Argh.
I have no idea when I can talk to a "professional" about the voices. I don't think I want to, for one thing. From my experience, "professionals" seems to be pretty darn narrow-minded. If I mention "voices", well....I'll be labeled a schiphrenic (sp). I don't know. I think after today, I've lost any hope or faith in the profession. They send patients through like an assembly line, and all we are is a LABEL. It makes me SICK what I've seen. I don't ever want to be committed or "analyzed" again. Bunch of crap!
Sorry...sorry...sorry. Today was just plain BAD. No one was interested in anything other than my short-term crisis. Doesn't it matter that there are other things going on in CONJUNCTION with the suicide attempt????? Maybe it wasn't all just stress????? Maybe I've been fighting "cracking" for years and years???? Maybe I've been to Hell and back again, and it affects me just as much as the pressures of my current life??????
I'm sorry. Again...just rambling. What do you do with your voices?
Sandy
Posted by TexasChic on July 28, 2004, at 9:43:53
In reply to Re: Just a thought » TexasChic, posted by SandyWeb on July 27, 2004, at 17:19:49
I'm glad you didn't take my post the wrong way. I worried last night that maybe I didn't phrase it right.
I'm sorry you had such a bad session. I agree they should be treating the whole problem and not just the short term reaction to it. The process can be ridiculous. But it can help too. I think it depends on the person and what they choose to get out of it.
Try to take it one step at a time. I've read your posts and know from them that you are a strong person. I hope that strength enables you to continue to fight the fight – and win. There are alot of a people here routing for you, myself included.
Posted by SandyWeb on July 28, 2004, at 10:15:57
In reply to Re: Just a thought » SandyWeb, posted by TexasChic on July 28, 2004, at 9:43:53
Oh TexasChic, you're a sweetie for worrying that you may not have worded your message properly. Your concern showed through, and you always are friendly in your posts.
Yesterday just put me in a funk because of how the appointment went. When I finally went to bed last night, I literally cried myself to sleep. But that must have a refreshing effect because I feel much better today....even after having begun my period in the night and bloodied up my jamies!! Lol!!!
Take care!
Sandy
Posted by holymama on July 28, 2004, at 10:23:25
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » holymama, posted by SandyWeb on July 27, 2004, at 20:09:58
Dear Sandy, thank you for the compliments on my name, though I can't take any credit for that. It did make me name my three children very unique names, though! I always appreciated having a name I could live up to or fit into.
Do you have a diagnosis? Not that it's so nice to be labeled, but if you are treated with medication, the diagnosis determines which meds can help you feel better. I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time with the system -- I've been really frustrated with it too, especially during 'crisis' times. It doesn't always work well. It sucks. I'm really sorry. It's so hard when you feel so bad to be dealing with a system that doesn't work very well.
Please remember that they mean well, however, and sometimes it takes going through a few people before you get to the one that you really click with and who really seems to care and makes a huge effort to help you. I've found a few people like that and they are the ones who I credit as having gotten me through the roughest patches in my life.
Have faith that there is kindness and compassion in peoples' hearts, and you'll find it.
Keep us updated on how things are going. I'm really curious to see how things go. You're obviously feeling pretty badly, and aren't getting good support. But having reached a low, things have to get better, and good doctors and the right meds really can restore you back to the way you used to be -- just imagine the best you've felt, and you can be that way again. Really -- it's happened to me, and I was SOOOOOOOOOOOO low and hospitalized less than 2 months ago. Please keep it in mind to keep you going.
~~Autumn~~
Posted by holymama on July 28, 2004, at 10:29:52
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » holymama, posted by SandyWeb on July 27, 2004, at 20:09:58
Sandy, I forgot to say what I do with my voices...
The ones that seemed outside my head came just a few times when I got back from the hospital. I'm not sure what it was -- it may very well have been myself second guessing my own sanity, if you know what I mean. I felt so out of sorts, so confused, low, having gone through so much psychologically, that I really expected to hear voices, I think. I also second guessed things I would see out of the corners of my eyes. I was jumpy and panicked at the thought of having had a nervous breakdown. But that stopped as my meds started working, and now, a couple of months later my mind feels really strong. ~~Autumn~~
Posted by TexasChic on July 28, 2004, at 11:22:04
In reply to Re: Have I been hearing voices? » SandyWeb, posted by holymama on July 28, 2004, at 10:29:52
I just thought of another instance of not necessarily hearing voices, but more of an annoying internal dialog. It happens alot when I'm driving. I imagine I'm talking to a friend from high school who lives in east tx as if she was sitting beside me. I describe to her everything I see and what's significant about them, "that's where I got my first ticket", or "I remember when that building wasn't even there". I don't know why I always imagine the same friend who I haven't been in touch with for a while. But sometimes I become aware of what I'm doing and I try to stop but just find myself doing it again. Its very annoying. I'm thinking the repetitiveness of it is OCD, which I'm beginning to think I suffer from more than my T is aware. I don't know why I do it though. I'm usually alone when I do it, so it may be a defense mechanism for loneliness. I have found myself doing it a couple of times while riding with someone else though. I've never thought to tell my T about this, but this thread made me think of it. It makes me feel like I can understand hearing voices as yall have described, like maybe its just a step removed from what I experience. Anyway, I just thought I'd share.
This is the end of the thread.
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