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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 39 to 63 of 63. Go back in thread:
Posted by toomuchpain on March 28, 2004, at 9:32:52
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!! » toomuchpain, posted by terrics on March 26, 2004, at 15:41:27
the link to my preoius post are on here the 1st one on there explains my situion and ytheother ones are what has happened since then and in between feel fee to ask me any ?s
Posted by terrics on March 28, 2004, at 11:57:28
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!! » terrics, posted by toomuchpain on March 28, 2004, at 9:32:52
Oh, I understand some. The awful part about getting the same T. is scary. Does he think you tried to find him?
You must feel sick. Do you have a pdoc who might be able to help you temporarily? terrics
Posted by toomuchpain on March 28, 2004, at 12:11:42
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!! » toomuchpain, posted by terrics on March 28, 2004, at 11:57:28
i dont really know what he thnks exceot that i am tryin to hurt him ... ruin his carrear .. which i am not .. i am only trying to settle things so i can move on with my life .. i dont want him to do this to another person ...
Posted by EmmyS on March 28, 2004, at 12:22:05
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!!, posted by toomuchpain on March 28, 2004, at 12:11:42
TMP - You are a hero for all therapy patients! You got stomped on, and you are standing up, brushing yourself off, and taking care that no one else goes through this. You are a wonderful woman! Blessings, and chocolate, and rose petals on you!
Emmy
Posted by gardenergirl on March 28, 2004, at 14:05:05
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!! » toomuchpain, posted by EmmyS on March 28, 2004, at 12:22:05
Posted by pegasus on March 28, 2004, at 23:00:13
In reply to a new beginning YEA RIGHT!!, posted by toomuchpain on March 24, 2004, at 9:43:06
Posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
In reply to Thinking of U and sending good wishes for Monday (nm), posted by pegasus on March 28, 2004, at 23:00:13
well it is 315pm eastren st time and i have just came home from my meeting ....
i had to speak in front of sevreal ppl and exlain the emotatinal state i was in and that i am in .. they evaulted me and my ex t .... he had to stand there and explain everything he did and reasons behind his actions ...
i had too sit in a waiting romm while the board memebrs discussed what was right and what was wrong and if ther were any crossing bouondrys .. that lasted for like a hour and half ... my ex t went to eat with a co worker that was there with him the whole .. he asked me to grab a bite to eat i told him no !!!!
when they came to there conclsion they came back to the room with papers and tape recoder and they said that there were boundrys crossed and that my former t had no reasonable explanition for anything he has done to me .. that it was all out of my hands that he should have been more professioal and he let too much of his personal feelings into my therpy and my discharge ... as of my t now .. i will no longer be seeing her and they are giving me a new t somone who dont know what has happen to me or dont know my former t that i just went through all this with ..
My former t has been suspened fromt he job intill futher notice and i was told that i will be notified when he does return and i was told that i should have no contact with him at all .. if he would comtact me to contact the board asap and report for they can futher actions ....
now that all of the meetings are over... and i can move on from this ... i guess it really stinks that it ook me all this pain and agnoy to prove to myself and others that therapist can affect u more then anyone can know and that this when u r been volited by someone .. u need to speak up and i also found out that he alot of things that went on in my therpy were not what they were supposed to be ...
so now that all this is over where do i go ??
how do i trust ??
how do i forgive myself for doing this to him ?
does the pain sunside when closure actually happens?
does my ex t hate me because of this ??
will i ever be me again?
questions that are running around in this head of mine .....
Posted by Joslynn on March 29, 2004, at 15:01:06
In reply to it is done, posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
WOW. You are my new hero. And kudos to the board for doing the right thing.
Please remember, you did not hurt your therapist, he hurt both you and himself with his actions. Of course, you will probably have all kinds of mixed feelings and maybe even tiny little regrets sneaking in there. Would it help to remember that an entire board of professionals thought his behavior was harmful too? If you doubt yourself in certain moments, just remember that his peers thought he did the wrong thing too. (And we here on this board agreed, and of course we are the ultimate authority, LOL.)
Wow. Justice was done.
Now, to congratulate yourself, can you do something nice for you? Is there nice spring weather in your state? Maybe you can sit outside, have some ice cream or buy yourself flowers to celebrate your bravery. Or take a long, cleansing nap.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 29, 2004, at 15:13:33
In reply to it is done, posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
Awesome...you did the right thing and it sounds so hard. HE DID THIS TO HIMSELF AND YOU so there is nothing to forgive. YOU had a board of his peers agree he is the one at fault. You will trust again..in time with the right T....but I am guessing it will be TIME ..Do what the board sez if he calls report it...and see the new T....STILL I feel soooo sorry for you cause of how hard this all is
hugs
Posted by lonelygirl on March 29, 2004, at 15:15:13
In reply to it is done, posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
Good job for standing up for yourself. It is definitely too bad that it had to turn out this way, but you know, the board heard both sides of the story and sided with you... As for your questions, I hope you recognize that the board realizes that what happened to you was wrong, and they are doing what they can to make things right for you. It is not easy or fun for them to take disciplinary actions, so they surely did not take this lightly. It is good to know that you can trust them to do the right thing. He is the one who did something wrong, so you don't need to feel guilty about it. You needed to go this so you could get a new therapist, and maybe you even saved someone else from having to go through what you did. A lot of people (myself included) probably wouldn't have had the guts to stand up for themselves. I hope your new therapist will be good and help you work through this.
Posted by terrics on March 29, 2004, at 15:30:54
In reply to it is done, posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
At this point I would not be worrying about your future. If it were me I would give myself some time and space and also congratulate myself. You have had enough suffering and anxiety for awhile. Hopefully this will be your new start. terrics
Posted by pegasus on March 29, 2004, at 16:21:32
In reply to it is done, posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
(Hmmm, that subject line comes out sounding a bit weird, doesn't it.)
But I am totally impressed with you! My favorite part of your story for today is that now you get a new therapist who doesn't even know your old T. Whew! That was about the hardest way to get a new T that I've ever heard of. I hope you really love your new T, and can work through all of this with him/her.
I agree that this is an excellent time to do something nice for yourself. You've been through a lot - and a lot more than you should have had to go through. I can understand some of the things you're thinking about today. I can imagine thinking those same things in your place. But on the other hand, it's not your fault that it all turned so difficult. You've been very poorly served by these people, and you deserve a whole lot better!
Big hug for getting through and your amazing courage ((((toomuchpain))))
- p
Posted by Dinah on March 29, 2004, at 18:30:35
In reply to it is done, posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
What you did took courage. I congratulate you.
And professionals don't sanction other professionals lightly, so please don't feel guilty about what happened. If he hadn't been totally out of line, he would have been just fine.
And you get to start over with a new therapist! That's great!
Posted by fallsfall on March 29, 2004, at 21:58:44
In reply to it is done, posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
I am so proud of you. That took a lot of courage. I wish that all your pain would just go away now.
so now that all this is over where do i go ??
*** The suggestion to take care of yourself was a really good one (I'm partial to ice cream, myself). You will get a new T, and I bet that your new T will be very competent. S/He will help you.
how do i trust ??
*** This is a really hard question. I tend to trust blindly and hope for the best. I still do this even after a very difficult termination with my previous therapist. I guess I don't know how to *not* trust. I guess you have to start slowly with your new therapist. You could spend a lot of time asking why you should trust him/her - and see what s/he says. I think that you will also be able to tell something about your new T by how they react to your story (your second T didn't seem to give your feelings any weight at all). There are some people in the world who are NOT trustworthy. Unfortunately, you have had close contact with too many of them. But there are also trustworthy people. I hope that you can believe that and try to stay open to the possibility that your new T is trustworthy.
how do i forgive myself for doing this to him ?
*** You did nothing to him. You simply told the truth. He has always known that what he was doing was wrong, but he kept doing it. He went into this with his eyes wide open. Don't feel badly for him - he chose this.
does the pain sunside when closure actually happens?
*** I think it takes a long long time for the pain to subside. I haven't seen my old therapist for 8 months now, and I'm still scared to run into her. But I never said goodbye to her, so I guess I haven't had closure. Maybe I'll ask YOU that question in 6 months, and see what you say.
does my ex t hate me because of this ??
*** If he does then he is very misguided. He made the mistakes, not you. All you did was tell the truth. Most (reasonable) people won't hate you for telling the truth - but he has proven that he isn't reasonable, so I don't know. I do believe that he has NO REASON to hate you. If he's going to hate anyone, it should be himself.
will i ever be me again?
*** You ARE you. And I'm so glad. I'm sorry that you were hurt so much. But I think that you have demonstrated just how wonderful a person you are. You had been through so much pain, yet you still stood up for "right". I think you should want to keep that quality.
*** What part of you do you think you have lost?
questions that are running around in this head of mine .....
*** What a confusing time. So many intense emotions. Please know that you did a good thing - the pursuit of truth is always a good thing. Please be extra nice to yourself for a while. You deserve it.
Posted by toomuchpain on March 30, 2004, at 11:07:42
In reply to Re: it is done » toomuchpain, posted by fallsfall on March 29, 2004, at 21:58:44
well i am going to meet with my new therapist in about one hour and i am really nervous ... but i am thinking very positive ... (or trying too)... i kno i wont run in to my former t so it makes it that much easier !!!!
i would like to thank u guys for all the supposrt and kind words!!!! i will keep updated hugs to all of yous
Posted by fallsfall on March 30, 2004, at 11:30:41
In reply to new therapist .., posted by toomuchpain on March 30, 2004, at 11:07:42
Posted by Dinah on March 30, 2004, at 16:45:28
In reply to new therapist .., posted by toomuchpain on March 30, 2004, at 11:07:42
That this one will be a competent caring professional. We all deserve that, don't we?
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 30, 2004, at 16:54:24
In reply to Re: Got my fingers crossed for you! » toomuchpain, posted by Dinah on March 30, 2004, at 16:45:28
Posted by toomuchpain on March 30, 2004, at 17:29:10
In reply to Re: Got my fingers crossed for you! » toomuchpain, posted by Dinah on March 30, 2004, at 16:45:28
well my new t is very nice she is very open and caring so it seems .. i cryed the whole way over there because i was scared .. i am so very scared of this change but i told her how i felt and how things have been for me since december and she couldnt understand how a therapist could do such a thing to someone ... that he is not a good professioanl and i do agree with her ... maybe there is light at the end every tunnel and things do get better .. i am learning so much from this experince that in a sick way i am glad i went through it and went through it with the therapist i went through it with .. in th eend he did teach me that i can do anything i want to do and that i am strong and even "the professianls" can mess up and not do what is right .. so that means there human too lol !! my former t has helped for a long time and i am grateful for it .. but i guess i relized there is life after him and that what he did to me only makes me stronger and a fighter ... i also know i dont need to depend on anyone for my happiness cus i am the only one that can produce that for myself ...
Posted by pegasus on March 30, 2004, at 18:15:24
In reply to Re: Got my fingers crossed for you! » Dinah, posted by toomuchpain on March 30, 2004, at 17:29:10
Oh, wow, I am so relieved that your new T seems nice and is understanding about this whole thing. I was secretly worrying that you'd get another bad T, which would have just been completely unfair. Not that any of it was fair to begin with.
So, yay! I am so happy that your new T seems nice.
And all of the things that you say about having learned something and become stronger sound so *healthy* and wonderful. Having heard how upset you were over the months about all of this, it is just great to hear you sounding positive. And I agree with every thing that you said about yourself. You're strong, and a fighter and you can make your own happiness!
Go tmp!
- p
Posted by fallsfall on March 30, 2004, at 18:48:28
In reply to Re: Got my fingers crossed for you! » Dinah, posted by toomuchpain on March 30, 2004, at 17:29:10
Posted by EmmyS on March 30, 2004, at 19:19:25
In reply to Re: Got my fingers crossed for you! » Dinah, posted by toomuchpain on March 30, 2004, at 17:29:10
You are inspirational. Print your last post and tape it to your mirror! You are so strong!
Emmy
Posted by Dinah on March 30, 2004, at 19:27:08
In reply to Re: Got my fingers crossed for you! » Dinah, posted by toomuchpain on March 30, 2004, at 17:29:10
That is so terrific! I'm so glad for you. :)
You're an inspiration to us all.
Posted by gardenergirl on March 30, 2004, at 23:17:45
In reply to Re: Got my fingers crossed for you! » toomuchpain, posted by Dinah on March 30, 2004, at 19:27:08
I'm so happy for you. Going through what you did must have felt like a nightmare, and anyone could have run from it at anytime. You saw it through and learned something valuable about yourself.
I'm so glad your new T and you did well your first day. I'm glad to hear that she is empathetic to your situation and willing to talk about it.
Yeay TMP!
gg
Posted by All Done on March 31, 2004, at 1:12:32
In reply to Re: Got my fingers crossed for you! » Dinah, posted by toomuchpain on March 30, 2004, at 17:29:10
tmp,
I’m sorry I haven’t posted to you earlier on this, but I do want to say that I’m so proud of you for what you did. It took *so much* courage and I know it must have been very difficult. You did the right thing, though, and it will pay off for you in the end. I’m glad you’re seeing that payoff already with getting a nice new T that’s open and caring.
I’m glad you’re looking on the bright side, too. You have learned a lot from this experience and what you’ve learned will help you get to the light at the end of the tunnel.
Good job!
Take care,
All Done
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