![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by terrics on March 25, 2004, at 17:50:02
As most of you know I have started with the DBT program. They are going to assign me an individual counselor. The csw asked me to discuss it with my current T. first though.
I got a surprise. I think we have become friends after all the boundary crossings and nonsense that has gone on. She will see me for $10.00 if I want to see her. She does not want to charge anthing , but thinks that is unhealthy.
Do you think it is safe to stay friendly with her?
terrics
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 25, 2004, at 18:12:07
In reply to I guess it may be friendship after all, posted by terrics on March 25, 2004, at 17:50:02
I think it is but to sound like a T do YOU think it is????? She sounds nice and the 10 dollars sounds good. Mostly really what do YOU think?? Do you feel gut level that you wanna stay?
HUGS
Posted by Dinah on March 25, 2004, at 18:36:05
In reply to I guess it may be friendship after all, posted by terrics on March 25, 2004, at 17:50:02
That depends. :) If you are doing it so that you can continue to see her and do therapy for you, it's one thing. If you are doing it so that she can continue to see you and focus on *her* problems, then I think the $10 an hour is rather high.
Posted by fallsfall on March 25, 2004, at 19:08:42
In reply to I guess it may be friendship after all, posted by terrics on March 25, 2004, at 17:50:02
This looks like a red flag to me. I'm sorry, Terrics.
The point of getting a DBT therapist was because there was so much question about how she was behaving in your therapy. The DBT crew would be out of line if they DIDN'T tell you to check with your current therapist.
Anytime a therapist offers to see you for a greatly reduced rate, that is a time for caution. Why is she offering to do this? Does she want you to see her instead of a DBT individual therapist? Or is she suggesting that you see both individual therapists and the skills training group?
I'm starting to remember now - your insurance will only pay for one therapy (but, DBT skills training should be cheaper than individual...). DBT will require you to have an individual therapist. What does the DBT team say about the insurance situation?
"I think we have become friends" is a very dangerous phrase for a current patient to say about her therapist. You aren't supposed to be friends. She is supposed to be your therapist.
Please, please be careful.
As I remember, there is coordination between the individual therapists and the group therapists. They are supposed to meet weekly to talk about all of the Skills Training members. When I did Skills training my (non-DBT) therapist attended those meetings (at no charge to me - I think she saw it as DBT training for her). I think that the coordination is important. If you stayed with your current therapist would she go to the meetings?
I'm sorry to be so negative, but that is how your post has hit me. If I'm missing something, please let me know (and forgive me...).
Best luck
Posted by terrics on March 26, 2004, at 15:51:38
In reply to Re: I guess it may be friendship after all » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on March 25, 2004, at 18:12:07
Actually what I was thinking of doing is going to the DBT therapist and the DBT group. I want to keep my pdoc cause she is excellent with meds. What T. has offered me is support every other week. The rationale that I find justifies this is that when I am stronger I will let this strange relationship fade away. It is hard for me to see objectively because I love her. I asked her if it was transference and she said no. She is definitely odd and does cross boundries big time and I know this could cause a major problem for me. It is: Should I go with my heart or my brain? terrics
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 26, 2004, at 18:24:18
In reply to Re: I guess it may be friendship after all, posted by terrics on March 26, 2004, at 15:51:38
Posted by fallsfall on March 26, 2004, at 19:06:49
In reply to Re: I guess it may be friendship after all, posted by terrics on March 26, 2004, at 15:51:38
Your new DBT therapist could help you sort this out, and help you figure out how to transition from one to the other.
Posted by terrics on March 26, 2004, at 20:40:37
In reply to I vote for heart anyday :-) (nm), posted by Fallen4myT on March 26, 2004, at 18:24:18
unfortunetly so do I. terrics
Posted by terrics on March 26, 2004, at 20:44:53
In reply to Re: I guess it may be friendship after all » terrics, posted by fallsfall on March 26, 2004, at 19:06:49
You may be right. Hope I don't like the DBT therapist too much because I won't learn anything. It is possible that she/he can help me straighten out these crazy feelings I have for currenyt T. thanks terrics
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 26, 2004, at 20:49:41
In reply to Re: I vote for heart anyday :-) » Fallen4myT, posted by terrics on March 26, 2004, at 20:40:37
Maybe that is not so unfortunate. How about heart and brain? See her and add the DBT therapist ...you will only be out 10 extra a week..till you really know what you want to do :) I am such a heart kinda gal and wanna see all your bases covered :) I mean at our tender age of..19 its hard, right ? :D So cover all areas
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2004, at 20:58:10
In reply to Re: I vote for heart anyday :-) » Fallen4myT, posted by terrics on March 26, 2004, at 20:40:37
But in the end I try to let my head use the information my heart provides along with all the other data, and make the decision that's best for all concerned. And in this case, only you are concerned. She's a therapist. Her needs shouldn't be a factor.
What is best for you?
Posted by 64Bowtie on March 27, 2004, at 12:57:04
In reply to The heart provides interesting and valuable info, posted by Dinah on March 26, 2004, at 20:58:10
(((Dinah))),
I am so glad you are here....
Rod
Posted by terrics on March 27, 2004, at 21:33:05
In reply to The heart provides interesting and valuable info, posted by Dinah on March 26, 2004, at 20:58:10
You're probably right. But would you want to hurt someone if you did not have to? I think this 'love'? 'mutual fascination'? will fade away and hopefuly neither of us will get hurt. I hope DBT will make me a sturdier person mentally.
Thank you Dinah. terrics
Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2004, at 21:46:27
In reply to Re: The heart provides interesting and valuable info » Dinah, posted by terrics on March 27, 2004, at 21:33:05
I just think it's sad that you have to feel responsible for her feelings. :( I agree, our therapists are people too. I'd never ever want to hurt mine. But I'm really really glad that he'd never put me in the position of feeling like I'd hurt him if I did what was best for me.
It's an unfortunate situation all around, and hopefully you're right. A bit of distance might do wonders. You're only going to be seeing her occasionally, right?
Let me know how the DBT goes - not that I ever think any groups will be offered in my neck of the woods. :(
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.