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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 4, 2004, at 13:20:53
i am so confused..
i just cant seem to get on with things,
i stopped taking clonazepam ,never really used it much because it interfeared with alcohol too much..
started picking and hair pulling again,,now i even look a mess..
saw pdoc a few days ago with husband,thought they were laughing at me,minamizing me..
ill never suggest he come along again..
i am begining to think that c is right ..i am crazy..
how do i keep my hands off myself...i am afraid it will snowball back into cutting...
i want to cut but i know i cant..
i thought getting help would mean i would feel better...
?
j
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 4, 2004, at 16:29:31
In reply to can i do this?....may trigger, posted by justyourlaugh on March 4, 2004, at 13:20:53
Hi it sounds like your husband was insensitive. I am wonderng what your T said about this and hope you two talk it over. I am a cutter so I HEAR you. Some ideas that may help is to WRITE, throw ice in the shower, draw, latch hook , sew or whatever your talent and give it to a battered wives shelter or to the poor. Call your T. Call friends, mostly I find doing busy and HAND stuff helps like crossword puzzles or word finds...writing out my anger or upsetness and so on...Ill find you more ideas later if I see youre still at odds
Posted by EmmyS on March 4, 2004, at 16:43:17
In reply to can i do this?....may trigger, posted by justyourlaugh on March 4, 2004, at 13:20:53
Different things seem to help different people. What's helped you in the past? I know one woman who draws in bright red crayon, pressing really hard. Fills the whole page. It helps her vent the anger and pain. Other people find writing helps. Crocheting, knitting, is great - and donating is such a nice suggestion. American Cancer Society looks for hats too for chemo patients.
If you have the time and are able - maybe add some activity? A class, or volunteer some place that is meaningful to you?
I'm glad you are posting about this. Please try to be gentle with yourself. Emmy
Posted by fallsfall on March 4, 2004, at 16:50:18
In reply to can i do this?....may trigger, posted by justyourlaugh on March 4, 2004, at 13:20:53
JYL,
Please try to read this the way I intend it - as a caring, hopeful suggestion.
Maybe the clonazepam would be more helpful to you than the alcohol.
Concerned,
Falls.
Posted by EmmyS on March 4, 2004, at 16:53:28
In reply to can i do this?....may trigger, posted by justyourlaugh on March 4, 2004, at 13:20:53
P.S.Take a look at this. It's from a site created by a woman who SI's. It's a self-help link.
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/self.html#fpain
Emmy
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 4, 2004, at 22:32:49
In reply to Re: can i do this?....may trigger » justyourlaugh, posted by EmmyS on March 4, 2004, at 16:53:28
thankyou all for the posts..
it was a bad day.
i really do take in every piece of advice....
and fallow every link that was offered...
j
Posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 0:14:16
In reply to can i do this?....may trigger, posted by justyourlaugh on March 4, 2004, at 13:20:53
I think getting help puts you on the road to feeling better, and I have every faith that you will one day feel better. I'm aware that that isn't much help today. :(
I will never have my husband go with me to therapy either. The one time he went, he hurt me, quite inadvertantly I'm sure.
((((JYL))))
Posted by gardenergirl on March 5, 2004, at 11:14:11
In reply to Re: can i do this?....may trigger » justyourlaugh, posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 0:14:16
Posted by fallsfall on March 5, 2004, at 12:34:46
In reply to ((((jyl)))) (nm), posted by gardenergirl on March 5, 2004, at 11:14:11
JYL -
How are you doing today? I'm thinking of you and hoping that you are finding some peace (or at least some ice cream!)
Falls.
Posted by terrics on March 5, 2004, at 21:41:30
In reply to Re: can i do this?....may trigger » justyourlaugh, posted by Fallen4myT on March 4, 2004, at 16:29:31
Hi, Does doing things with your hands really help keep you from cutting? I wish I could find an alternative that would be better than cutting. No one knows about it except T; not even my husband. Cutting puts an end to the periodic anger that I cannoy dispel. Could there be anything else that works? terrics
Posted by Apperceptor on March 5, 2004, at 22:00:00
In reply to Re: can i do this?....may trigger » Fallen4myT, posted by terrics on March 5, 2004, at 21:41:30
Ask your therapist about the ice technique for cutting.
Posted by Elle2021 on March 5, 2004, at 22:36:28
In reply to Re: can i do this?....may trigger, posted by Apperceptor on March 5, 2004, at 22:00:00
Whats the ice method? My pdoc suggested a rubberband method but I just wound up breaking all the rubberbands on my wrist. Any other suggestions for quitting?
Elle
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 23:58:58
In reply to Re: can i do this?....may trigger » Fallen4myT, posted by terrics on March 5, 2004, at 21:41:30
Yes I have found that tearing things up, throwing ice cubes in the shower....hard making noise and in anger like, also slamming a basketball into the side of the house..I love summer for gardening tearing weeds up and digging...so many things..It doesnt always work but does a lot
Posted by Apperceptor on March 6, 2004, at 4:32:57
In reply to Re: can i do this?....may trigger » Apperceptor, posted by Elle2021 on March 5, 2004, at 22:36:28
Elle-
I wish I knew the specifics...I think the basic premise is to rub ice cubes on the places where you are feeling the urge to cut. I can't say I understand the technique, but I've heard many clients say it helped them a great deal. Please do check with your therapist,or I believe Linehan may have addressed it.
I do trust you will find your own, healthy substitute, and I'd be interested to hear how it works. Take care.
Posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 9:01:23
In reply to Re: can i do this?....may trigger » Apperceptor, posted by Elle2021 on March 5, 2004, at 22:36:28
The ice method, and many other alternatives, are described at:
Posted by fallsfall on March 6, 2004, at 9:36:10
In reply to Re: can i do this?....may trigger » Elle2021, posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 9:01:23
I don't cut, but I do the "skin picking" thing. When I find myself getting tense and starting to search out my favorite places I try to substitute something calming instead. This idea is sort of the opposite of the rubber band or ice ideas, because it doesn't give me an alternative way to "hurt" - it gives me comfort. Just as there are many ways and reasons to SI, there are many ways to decrease SI. If the standard ones don't work, you might want to try mine.
I carry a rabbit's foot in my pocket (and have for 8 years). When I need comfort, I feel the soft fur on my rabbit's foot. The rabbit's foot is small enough to hide in my pocket (along with my chapstick). Sometimes, I just put my hand in my pocket, and that is enough. It is also small enough so that if I take it out of my pocket, it is not particularly intrusive - often people do not know that I am "using" it. It also has a chain, so if I am very needy, but I also have to get something else done, I can hang it off one of my fingers and have my hand free for whatever I have to do.
A couple of words of caution:
1. Check for toenails, and cut them off.
2. I recently found a beautiful purple rabbit's foot, but when I "work" it the dye comes off on my hands - I'm trying to rinse the dye out but I haven't succeeded yet. A second (red) rabbit's foot that I bought at the same time doesn't stain my hands.
3. If you have shallow pockets, put a safety pin through the pocket and through the chain to ensure that it doesn't fall out of your pocket.
4. I had one rabbit's foot for more than 7 years - I wore it out. When I got my new rabbit's feet, I put it on my headboard, so that if I needed a rabbit's foot when I was in bed (and didn't have a pocket nearby) I would have one handy. My dog ate it. I was very upset.
5. I found my latest rabbit's feet at a small, downtown hardware store. I had looked many other places.
One favorite story. My son went into the Army and I went to visit him to see his Basic Training Graduation. It was a difficult time for me (for reasons unrelated to my son) and I was very glad to have my rabbit's foot with me. At one point, just after Graduation, my son and I were walking across the base and a soldier came running up behind me. He had seen me drop my rabbit's foot, and wanted to return it to me. I was pleased that our Army was encouraging such compassion and attention to detail - and I was so glad to have it back.
Posted by terrics on March 6, 2004, at 16:14:38
In reply to Re: Another suggestion, posted by fallsfall on March 6, 2004, at 9:36:10
I really like the rabbit's foot idea. It does sound comforting and you can spend time picking them out too. e.g. right color and right feel. terrics
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 16:44:28
In reply to Re: Another suggestion » fallsfall, posted by terrics on March 6, 2004, at 16:14:38
terrics and all I found that site I was looking for...well one close ro it...
Try something physical and violent, something not directed at a living thing:
Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock.
Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at. Cut and tear it instead of yourself. *I actually have a voodoo doll*
Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go.
Hit a punching bag.
Use a pillow to hit a wall, pillow-fight style.
Rip up an old newspaper or phone book.
On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture.
Make Play-Doh or Sculpey or other clay models and cut or smash them.
Throw ice into the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it.
Break sticks.
I've found that these things work even better if I rant at the thing I am cutting/tearing/hitting. I start out slowly, explaining why I am hurt and angry, but sometimes end up swearing and crying and yelling. It helps a lot to vent like that.
Crank up the music and dance.
Clean your room (or your whole house).
Go for a walk/jog/run.
Stomp around in heavy shoes.
Play handball or tennis.
Do something that creates a sharp physical sensation:
Squeeze ice hard (this really hurts). (Note: putting ice on a spot you want to burn gives you a strong painful sensation and leaves a red mark afterward, kind of like burning would.)
Put a finger into a frozen food (like ice cream) for a minute.
Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root.
Rub liniment under your nose.
Slap a tabletop hard.
Snap your wrist with a rubber band.
Take a cold bath.
Stomp your feet on the ground.
Focus on how it feels to breathe. Notice the way your chest and stomach move with each breath.
Draw on yourself with a red felt-tip pen.
Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.
Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you've made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells.
Paint yourself with red tempera paint.
Posted by underthecs on March 6, 2004, at 23:49:23
In reply to Re: Another suggestion/ list terrics and all » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 16:44:28
Posted by fallsfall on March 7, 2004, at 9:20:42
In reply to Link to site that sells rabbits feet, posted by underthecs on March 6, 2004, at 23:49:23
Hey, Thanks!!!
If you do get them from the internet, get a bunch - individual ones are very different from each other. You will want to be able to choose one that feels "right" to you!
Posted by terrics on March 7, 2004, at 11:08:44
In reply to Link to site that sells rabbits feet, posted by underthecs on March 6, 2004, at 23:49:23
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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