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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Poet on February 28, 2004, at 19:15:09
Thank you to all fellow-feelers who were able to resonate with my situation.
The house is a big decision and I was brave and made an offer. I have to stop imagining being fired from my job and the bank taking the house back. It's not rational to be worried the sheriff will knock on my door until I own that door. But I'm never rational when it comes to believing I deserve good things. I will be in therapy forever.
I had a scoop of mint chocolate chip and it did make me feel better. It didn't trigger a binge, either. I'm going to make my lunch for Monday, tomorrow, so I won't be late for work.
Thanks again.
Poet
Posted by Crooked Heart on February 29, 2004, at 6:19:39
In reply to Indecisive, but better, posted by Poet on February 28, 2004, at 19:15:09
Posted by Dinah on February 29, 2004, at 8:48:32
In reply to Indecisive, but better, posted by Poet on February 28, 2004, at 19:15:09
Good luck with your offer. I think it's perfectly natural to be scared when making such a big commitment. I remember lying awake and worrying after. But it's been twelve years and none of my worries have happened.
Posted by 64Bowtie on February 29, 2004, at 12:52:59
In reply to Indecisive, but better, posted by Poet on February 28, 2004, at 19:15:09
>>>But I'm never rational when it comes to believing I deserve good things. I will be in therapy forever.
<<<If dysfunction is a collection of bad habits, and I collect therapy as a new habit, when can I break free of dysfunction by continuous therapy? I must extinguish my dysfunction. I can't have "a life" till I do! I can't have "a life" and be in therapy, period! So what do I do?
OBTW and FWIW, chronic indecision locks me into dysfunction. Denial throws away the key! Avoidance scares away any new information while arrogance scares away any new friends with new information. I can be a mess forever if I want to. I only want "a life" not a mess.
Rod
Posted by Dinah on February 29, 2004, at 13:32:50
In reply to Re: Indecisive, but better-er or worser-er » Poet, posted by 64Bowtie on February 29, 2004, at 12:52:59
> I can't have "a life" and be in therapy, period!
Beg pardon? Are you saying those of us in therapy don't have a life? That one or two hours a week rob us of our lives the other hours?
Or are you speaking only of yourself, and saying that you personally have found it impossible to have a life while in therapy? In which case, I am sorry to hear that. Perhaps a different modality would have been more beneficial?
Posted by Dinah on February 29, 2004, at 13:33:17
In reply to Re: Indecisive, but better-er or worser-er » Poet, posted by 64Bowtie on February 29, 2004, at 12:52:59
Posted by 64Bowtie on February 29, 2004, at 20:52:57
In reply to Re: Indecisive, but better-er or worser-er, posted by Dinah on February 29, 2004, at 13:32:50
dear (((Dinah))),
I learned the hard way not to discuss or imply anything about someone else on this board. I have been seeking alternatives to therapy all my life. I have a life. If I tread into therapy, me and only me, (I), will have to give up on having a life I can call my own for only my reasons, and I don't want to have to do that.
Further, I can't and won't say what's good for anyone else but myself. Did I say that clear enough to not be misunderstood? You know how people talk.......lol.....
I am here asking for clarity. I am not here to cross swords. I am not here disparaging anyone in any way. What I say about myself is true for me, (at least mostly true......lol).....
Please, Nice-person, try not to read so much into what I ask. I am curious not bossy. I want to hear how others have solved problems. I will ask them how they did it.
Are you doing better?? You sound one-with-yourself. That's a good way to be. You're rapid return after your "meltdown" as you called it, is very encouraging to me. I feel my trust in you is well placed.
Let's both keep up the good work...
Rod
Posted by gardenergirl on March 1, 2004, at 0:12:14
In reply to Re: Indecisive, but better-er or worser-er » Dinah, posted by 64Bowtie on February 29, 2004, at 20:52:57
Posted by noa on March 2, 2004, at 19:12:02
In reply to Indecisive, but better, posted by Poet on February 28, 2004, at 19:15:09
Congratulations on making the offer on the house.
It IS hard to make big decisions like that. It's scary.
I don't know if this will help or not to tell you this, but the funny thing is that once the big decision about buying is done, be ready for zillions of other decisions to make. They drove me nuts! I got totally obsessive about paint colors, tiles, you name it!!
It can get exhausting to have to deal with one decision after another, etc. But it was worth it now that I'm on the other side. And I'm still working and no sherriff at my door yet, LOL!!!
Risk is always going to create some anxiety. I think the trick is not to expect it to feel anxiety free. I think the anxiety comes with the territory. So that can't be the main criteria for deciding if it is a good risk. Well, you can and should use your gut to a certain extent but be realistic and accept that all risk comes with at least some anxiety.
If it is a worthwhile risk, go for it.
Good Luck!
Posted by Dinah on March 2, 2004, at 19:14:53
In reply to Indecisive, but better, posted by Poet on February 28, 2004, at 19:15:09
Posted by Poet on March 2, 2004, at 22:11:19
In reply to Any word yet? (nm) » Poet, posted by Dinah on March 2, 2004, at 19:14:53
In less than 24 hours, my offer was accepted. It really is my offer as my husband just signed the paperwork, he hasn't seen the inside of our new house. Seriously. He left this entirely up to me, we got into fights when I asked him to look at houses that I really liked on my own, so he said this decision was all mine.
New job, new house. I feel like throwing up, but I get this way when depressed/stressed/anxiety ridden. I will try hard not let my inner demons tell me that I'll get fired and lose the house.
We hopefully will see it together tomorrow, but he will love it. He has no choice, I made a decision for the both of us, and that's okay! Wow!
Poet
Posted by Dinah on March 2, 2004, at 22:18:45
In reply to I made a decision!! Thank you all for the help!, posted by Poet on March 2, 2004, at 22:11:19
Wow! What a husband!
I have to admit that mine just went through the motions. When I found the house I loved, he made an offer that night. (lots of closet space)
It'll be great. :)
Posted by All Done on March 3, 2004, at 8:33:07
In reply to I made a decision!! Thank you all for the help!, posted by Poet on March 2, 2004, at 22:11:19
Congratulations, Poet! You did a great job and I bet you're going to be so happy in the new house!
Posted by fallsfall on March 3, 2004, at 10:00:28
In reply to I made a decision!! Thank you all for the help!, posted by Poet on March 2, 2004, at 22:11:19
Awesome!!! Picking a house is hard, and negotiating a process with your husband is hard. You did both.
Enjoy!
Posted by gardenergirl on March 3, 2004, at 14:57:03
In reply to Re: I made a decision!! Thank you all for the help! » Poet, posted by fallsfall on March 3, 2004, at 10:00:28
Woo hoo! That's so exciting. I'm sure you will love your new home. Dealing with all the details in buying a house is a pain. It sounds like you are doing great! Good job.
A round of applause for poet! Better yet, standing O!
gg
Posted by terrics on March 4, 2004, at 14:15:44
In reply to I made a decision!! Thank you all for the help!, posted by Poet on March 2, 2004, at 22:11:19
This is the end of the thread.
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