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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Fallen4myT on February 23, 2004, at 12:39:17
Hi and thank you ahead. I am not sure if this is what we are allowed or suppose to be asking you but I am dxed as PTSD and have been seeeing my T for almost 3 years. I adore him he is very nice and can tell when to back off when pushing an issue or memory in my past. I want to enter first that I am not one to trust easy due to past issues. Here goes, I will never see another T I like mine and I do not stalk him he gave me his home number I seldom call it maybe 1 time or 2 in all these years. Yet I find I am so in love with him and he gives me mixed messages. Like he will tell me he was thinking about me and a party etc. I know more about him and his kids and parents than I do any man I have dated, he askes me advice and things...He almost held me once. I will not bug him or anything but if he is intrested and it seems he is should I just let him make the move if he ever does?...What would your opinion be as to what I should do SHORT of ending therapy I really cannot do that :( ???? tHANKS :)
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 25, 2004, at 2:29:41
In reply to Schmidt, LCSW need opinion on relationship with T, posted by Fallen4myT on February 23, 2004, at 12:39:17
The kinds of strong romantic feelings you have toward your therapist often occur in the course of therapy and can be very helpful in coming to understand yourself. However, for your therapist to make any kind of romantic or sexual overture is a violation of professional ethics and will subvert the therapeutic process as well.
Erika Schmidt, LCSW
Posted by noa on February 25, 2004, at 19:39:50
In reply to from Ms. Schmidt: relationship with T, posted by Dr. Bob on February 25, 2004, at 2:29:41
> The kinds of strong romantic feelings you have toward your therapist often occur in the course of therapy and can be very helpful in coming to understand yourself. However, for your therapist to make any kind of romantic or sexual overture is a violation of professional ethics and will subvert the therapeutic process as well.
>
> Erika Schmidt, LCSWIn light of Fallen4myT's question, what seems to me sometimes to be a proliferation of accounts on this board of therapists with poor boundaries, and your answer to Fallen, I wonder if you could let people know what they can do if they feel their therapist might have stepped over the line in terms of sexual overtures. How do they assess if the therapist has stepped over that boundary? What are their options in terms of taking care of themselves? What resources might be available to help them with this?
Thank you.
Posted by Racer on February 25, 2004, at 20:17:11
In reply to Ms. Schmidt: Question » Dr. Bob, posted by noa on February 25, 2004, at 19:39:50
noa's question is GREAT, and I hope it's answered soon. I have an additional part to that question:
Since so many people here on this board seem to have issues surrounding boundaries with therapists, could we have a single, simple rule that can be stated in one sentence about it? Something like:
"It is never appropriate for a clinician to form a personal relationship with any former client?"
Something that could make it easier to recognise the structural boundaries of the therapeutic relationship?
(And while you're at it, it *is* OK for me to fantasize about my pdoc now and again, isn't it?)
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 28, 2004, at 15:38:04
In reply to Ms. Schmidt: Question » Dr. Bob, posted by noa on February 25, 2004, at 19:39:50
Generally, the first line of recourse regarding any questionable intervention by the therapist is to talk with the therapist about it. Certainly you can say that you are confused by the therapist's statement or behavior and ask them to clarify it. If this kind of discussion is not satisfactory or if it doesn't feel possible, I would recommend a consultation with another therapist. The purpose of the consultation is to review the experiences in therapy and discuss whether the therapy is progressing, whether boundaries violations have occurred, whether they are harmful boundary violations or reparable boundary violations, and to decide how to proceed. These kinds of consultations are not that unusual and many senior clinicians are usually available for this purpose.
I would emphasize that concerns about therapy should be addressed, even though it may be difficult, and that if someone is wondering about the legitimacy of actions or statements, those wonderings should be taken seriously.
Erika Schmidt, LCSW
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 28, 2004, at 16:05:38
In reply to Re: Ms. Schmidt: Question answer this one!!, posted by Racer on February 25, 2004, at 20:17:11
Yes, fantasies are fine, and all people have them. By and large, they should be addressed in the course of therapy, especially important or persistent ones.
Unfortunately, simple rules are hard to come by. But I can say unequivocally that personal relationships and sexual relationships are not acceptable in the course of therapy. They represent ethical violations, often legal violations, and are destructive to therapy. In regard to relationships that develop after therapy has ended, again one has to be very careful. For the client, the therapy relationship probably always contains aspects of the transference expectations and longings which can easily be reactivated later, in which case it may be exploitive of the client's feelings. It also does not preserve the possibility for resuming therapy at a later date if the need should arise.
Now, this does not mean that all personal interactions are boundary violations. For example, it happens that one might attend the same party as one's therapist, or meet in some kind of social situation. These kinds of encounters may be the source of discomfort or anxiety and can be discussed.
Some boundary violations are more properly considered boundary "crossings" which are not necessarily of harmful proportions but may represent an exception to the general framework of the therapy situation. Distinguishing between violations and crossings, what's harmful and what's not, can be confusing. One should listen to one's feelings about it and use consultation if necessary to sort it out.
Erika Schmidt, LCSW
Posted by noa on February 28, 2004, at 19:54:45
In reply to from Ms. Schmidt: Question, posted by Dr. Bob on February 28, 2004, at 15:38:04
Thank you.
This is the end of the thread.
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