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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Elle2021 on January 13, 2004, at 18:16:37
I had the worst therapy session today. I have to tell you what my therapist said because it is just too much of a coincidence. I finally begged him to let me look at my file. He didn't say no, but didn't say yes either. I didn't get to see it, but he told me what was in it. He said that he has pretty much diagnosed me Schizoid/Schizotypal with borderline traits and OCD. I have to admit, I was happier not knowing. But oh no, I just had to ask. Now I feel really awful. And now I have to learn to spell "schizoid." I don't even know if thats right, but I'm way too upset to try and figure it out. More later...
Elle
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2004, at 19:26:22
In reply to Dinah!!, posted by Elle2021 on January 13, 2004, at 18:16:37
Take heart, don't despair. I happen to think OCD schizoid/schizotypal with borderline traits are the very finest sort of folk.
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2004, at 20:57:15
In reply to Dinah!!, posted by Elle2021 on January 13, 2004, at 18:16:37
You like me, don't you? Think I'm a worthwhile human being with many fine qualities? I've been told exactly what you've been told. If you like me, then don't feel bad about yourself.
(OK, OK, you can feel bad for a while. It really stinks to be told you have a personality "disorder" like your personality is broken or something. They really need to change the name of Axis II. I spat that out to my therapist for at least a year - that he thought there was something wrong with my personality. Took me a long time to trust him again. So I do understand how you're feeling.)
Posted by DaisyM on January 14, 2004, at 10:26:54
In reply to Dinah!!, posted by Elle2021 on January 13, 2004, at 18:16:37
Elle, I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Please don't let some "word" throw you for such a loop...it doesn't change who you are from one minute to the next. Think of it as something the insurance company needs.
As far as being able to tolerate therapy...again, don't take it too seriously. I swear, if anyone who knows me saw me in a therapy session, they would be shocked. I'm NOT the same person, maybe I'm more real, but certainly I keep my competent self out front everywhere else, including the doctor's office. I often think if my therapist saw me at work, he would be shocked (ok, he does how much I hide stuff). You just have to find someone you want to work with and then build trust.
I think the hardest part of all this is having someone say out loud and confirm stuff we've always suspected. Like, I know I can't sing...but I LOVE to sing...but when my husband agrees I'm awful, it hurts my feelings. *sigh* Try not to give the diagnosis too much power.
I'm thinking about you today.:)
-D
Posted by Elle2021 on January 14, 2004, at 18:47:54
In reply to Re: Dinah!! » Elle2021, posted by DaisyM on January 14, 2004, at 10:26:54
> As far as being able to tolerate therapy...again, don't take it too seriously. I swear, if anyone who knows me saw me in a therapy session, they would be shocked. I'm NOT the same person, maybe I'm more real, but certainly I keep my competent self out front everywhere else, including the doctor's office.
See, that is exactly how I am. I think he's basing this on how I act with him, which is reasonable. But, I think I would open up more to a woman, even though I have major trust issues with women (and men).
I often think if my therapist saw me at work, he would be shocked (ok, he does how much I hide stuff).
If my therapist saw me anywhere outside of his office, he would be shocked. I think he thinks I'm some kind of seriously delusional person. I'm not, I'm actually quite competent.
>You just have to find someone you want to work with and then build trust.
Thanks for that advice. Thats what I'm going to force myself to do with this therapist. I am determined to get my life back in order. I can't live like this forever.
> I think the hardest part of all this is having someone say out loud and confirm stuff we've always suspected.I totally agree!
>Like, I know I can't sing...but I LOVE to sing...but when my husband agrees I'm awful, it hurts my feelings. *sigh*
Oh who cares! I say you sing your heart out. :) Why not, I do!!!!
> I'm thinking about you today.:)
That's so sweet of you! Thanks so much for everything!
Elle
Posted by Elle2021 on January 14, 2004, at 18:51:00
In reply to Re: Dinah!!, posted by Elle2021 on January 14, 2004, at 18:47:54
Posted by DaisyM on January 14, 2004, at 19:11:08
In reply to Re: Dinah!!, posted by Elle2021 on January 14, 2004, at 18:47:54
It is a funny coincidence but today we spent the time discussing some career plans I had/have and what a next step might be and why I was afraid right now to take it. I totally explained my business and some of my skills...I think he said WOW like 10 times. So there! I can be competent in therapy.
Of course, everytime he tried to turn the discussion to the hard stuff, like how I FELT about a career change, I shut him down. Yeah, I know, wasted time, wasted money. *sigh*
Posted by Elle2021 on January 14, 2004, at 19:17:19
In reply to well, I showed him today » Elle2021, posted by DaisyM on January 14, 2004, at 19:11:08
> I totally explained my business and some of my skills...I think he said WOW like 10 times. So there! I can be competent in therapy.
See, it's fun to throw them off huh!! :) Why is it that they always want to discuss career plans? Mine is constantly asking where I see myself in 10 years, etc. I never have a good answer... I'm glad you showed him how competent you are! Wow, is a really wonderful compliment!
> Of course, everytime he tried to turn the discussion to the hard stuff, like how I FELT about a career change, I shut him down. Yeah, I know, wasted time, wasted money. *sigh*
Okay, well I think everyone here pretty much knows all my sessions are a big waste of money, that is if you base it on how much I talk about how I feel. I can't talk about that with him right now. I don't know why yet. But I can only tell him about superficial feelings right now. Hopefully it will be different with my new therapist. :) Keep me updated!
Elle
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