![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alysa on November 24, 2003, at 19:54:55
Hi,
I'm hoping someone here can supply some sort of answers to my questions about the kind of therapy I have been subjected to (and quite commonly as well!).
I've stopped going, stopped trying, to get help with my depression because no matter who I see, no matter what kind of therapy I request, I always wind up with a therapist who demands that I "take responsibility". I psychologically flayed myself for years in the belief that if I could just be "responsible" enough...my depression would go away. It finally occured to me, after observing other "normal" nondepressed and rather irresponsible people that perhaps being irersponsible was not the cause of my problem.
Can anyone explain to me what the theory or purpose is behind a therapist who responds to all of the client's concerns and problems with "that's because you're not taking responsibility"?
I've noticed (rather painfully) that therapists don't like it when I point out their irresponsible behaviour...and promptly go into denial.
I can't seem to get help for abuse trauma.
Thanks for whatever knowledge/ideas/opinions you can offer,
Alysa
Posted by Dr. Rod on November 25, 2003, at 4:48:32
In reply to Question re: Taking Responsibility Therapy, posted by alysa on November 24, 2003, at 19:54:55
Sounds like "responsible" is in the eye of the beholder... Ask these ubiquitous therapists what taking responsibility would look like, so you can get a better clue as to what they mean... Also, these sound like public mental health types... Am I close???
I like Dr. Phil's books, "Life Strategies" and "Self Matters"... I particularly like the workbook companions for both of these books... The workbooks are also cheaper and still hit all the high points of the books…
I also promote "The Peck Protocol"… You can find a tiny smidge about it at Decisionhome.com on the WEB... David Peck taught that poor impulse control went hand in hand with “obligatory thinking” which has no options, to be replaced by "Outcome Thinking" containing options... By learning to harness your impulses, you will discover love, acceptance, respect, and responsibility, to replace (or update) your obligations to the baggage of your life...
Essentially you start living at the age of that body you are inside of, and stop acting out the same ways you did as a child, when impulsiveness wasn't necessarily irresponsible... "Outcome Thinking" helps you keep track of the context you are operating in so you can act appropriately by your own design, not just how you think people want you to act... You get to take charge of your life…
Posted by TexasChic on November 25, 2003, at 11:05:14
In reply to Question re: Taking Responsibility Therapy, posted by alysa on November 24, 2003, at 19:54:55
I think I may know what they are trying to say. Its one thing to search for the root of your problems. I know my crappy childhood is the cause of the anxiety, depression, and low self esteem I grew up to have as an adult. However, I can either continue to blame my parents and never change, or take 'responsibity' for who I am today, and work at changing myself into the person I would like to be. My therapist does very little if any discussing about the past. Its all about who I am now and what steps I need to take to become the confident, happy person I dream of being. I'm not saying childhood trama is a breeze to overcome or anything, but once you realize its up to you to decide to leave it behind, only then can you stop being the victim of those who hurt you and move on.
Posted by Dr. Rod on November 25, 2003, at 18:42:09
In reply to Question re: Taking Responsibility Therapy: Alysa, posted by TexasChic on November 25, 2003, at 11:05:14
You really are getting this stuff... I am enjoying hearing your take on things... Just don't measure your insides by anyone elses outsides... I don't hear you doing it... I just want to encourage you to trust yourself... You got the goods...
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 26, 2003, at 0:21:15
In reply to Re: Question re: Taking Responsibility Therapy » alysa, posted by Dr. Rod on November 25, 2003, at 4:48:32
> I like Dr. Phil's books, "Life Strategies" and "Self Matters"...
I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
The first time anyone refers to a book without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
Thanks!
Bob
Posted by Dr. Rod on November 26, 2003, at 1:01:31
In reply to Re: double double quotes » Dr. Rod, posted by Dr. Bob on November 26, 2003, at 0:21:15
I'm jsut still confused as to what a double-double quote might look like and how I go about doing it... I'm not being recalcetrant, jus' "igorant"... I'm certain that as time goes on, I'll do the right thing more and more... I'm trainable.........lol
Posted by fallsfall on November 26, 2003, at 7:01:45
In reply to Re: double double quotes » Dr. Bob, posted by Dr. Rod on November 26, 2003, at 1:01:31
This is a double quote: "
If you put two of the before the title of the book and two after the title of the book: "Title of book"
Then before you confirm you post, at the bottom of the window you will get choices for links to your Title of book. Choose the right one and Bingo! you have it.
Posted by fallsfall on November 26, 2003, at 7:04:34
In reply to Re: double double quotes » Dr. Rod, posted by fallsfall on November 26, 2003, at 7:01:45
I was afraid that wouldn't do it. That was only one "double quote" before and after the title (even though I typed two...)
So, let us pretend for a minute that " is '. (sort of like Algebra, you will replace the ' that I type with a " that you type)
''Title of book''
Posted by fallsfall on November 26, 2003, at 7:08:20
In reply to Re: double double quotes - revised, posted by fallsfall on November 26, 2003, at 7:04:34
That didn't work either. I had typed ' twice before and after, but it looks like I typed " once. If you look carefully enough though you can see the difference between one double quote " and two single quotes ''.
Anyway, you just want two of these double quote things: " before and after your title and it will be magic.
If you are still confused, write to me at babble fallsfall at hotmail dot com and I will send it to you in an email that won't change my quotes all the time.
P.S. yes, I am having fun. Yes, I am also procrastinating...
Posted by TexasChic on November 26, 2003, at 8:57:38
In reply to You are so right..... » TexasChic, posted by Dr. Rod on November 25, 2003, at 18:42:09
> You really are getting this stuff... I am enjoying hearing your take on things... Just don't measure your insides by anyone elses outsides... I don't hear you doing it... I just want to encourage you to trust yourself... You got the goods...
Well, its one thing to know what's the right thing to do, and another to actually always follow through. I guess I'm a work in progress.
Thanks for the incouragement.
Posted by alysa on November 26, 2003, at 21:20:03
In reply to Re: Question re: Taking Responsibility Therapy » alysa, posted by Dr. Rod on November 25, 2003, at 4:48:32
Well, thanks for your take on it, after all I haven't been quite able to figure out what these people are trying to get at....
Not sure what you mean by "public" types...these are ones that want cash up front...
I guess I have a problem with this type of therapy given I don't have an impulse control problem...I'm a "stick in the mud" and I've been that way since I was about 6...very conscientious...maybe I should get some impulses! I don't know necesarily that "harnessing impulses" results in all that good stuff...most of the happy people I know are quite impulsive and really don't suffer many consequences as a result...and even if they do..it doesn't bother them much. People must require some degree of impulsiveness to live (live, not exist). I think I'll work on developing more impulsiveness and stronger ego defense mechanisms to match! I just find it rather frustrating that after years I keep encountering the same type of thing yet when I protest that being even super responsible has not helped me at all I am ignored or put down as "not trying hard enough". I have been routinely told "Well, you should feel better" but I don't.
I've often experienced this same problem in therapy that my therapists kind of well ***assume*** that I have some problem I don't have and rather than asking, proceed to administer therapy without really clarifying my problems, resulting in great confusion on my part. I guess this has a lot to do with therapists' expectations of clients rather than with my behaviour. Or perhaps it is an example of gross misattribution that irresponsible behaviour caused my depression?
Well, each to his/her own...if it works for ya, all the power to you.
Take Care,
Alysa
> Sounds like "responsible" is in the eye of the beholder... Ask these ubiquitous therapists what taking responsibility would look like, so you can get a better clue as to what they mean... Also, these sound like public mental health types... Am I close???
>
> I like Dr. Phil's books, "Life Strategies" and "Self Matters"... I particularly like the workbook companions for both of these books... The workbooks are also cheaper and still hit all the high points of the books…
>
> I also promote "The Peck Protocol"… You can find a tiny smidge about it at Decisionhome.com on the WEB... David Peck taught that poor impulse control went hand in hand with “obligatory thinking” which has no options, to be replaced by "Outcome Thinking" containing options... By learning to harness your impulses, you will discover love, acceptance, respect, and responsibility, to replace (or update) your obligations to the baggage of your life...
>
> Essentially you start living at the age of that body you are inside of, and stop acting out the same ways you did as a child, when impulsiveness wasn't necessarily irresponsible... "Outcome Thinking" helps you keep track of the context you are operating in so you can act appropriately by your own design, not just how you think people want you to act... You get to take charge of your life…
>
>
>
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.