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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 5, 2003, at 0:15:33
how am i suppose to know if i should "ditch"
my pdoc...if i cant descide what i should make for supper?
i think i am realizing..hospitalation was a horrid thing for me,,,pdoc cant seem to deliver,,meds are raging havoc on my body,,
mabe if i am so "high and mighty" i should take control and leave the system?
leave myself...
i need help,,yet when i asked for it,,i feel so betraded?
j
Posted by fallsfall on July 5, 2003, at 9:40:34
In reply to when to know when?, posted by justyourlaugh on July 5, 2003, at 0:15:33
Boy, can I relate. I have just changed therapists - when my problem is that I am too dependent on my old therapist. It is very hard.
I guess that I got to a point where the pain was too unbearable. Where I thought the pain of staying was greater than the pain of leaving.
But I, like you, don't trust my ability to make a decision. So I took a survey. I asked my close friends (3). I asked my support groups (1 for depression, the other unrelated to mental health). I asked Babel. They all said I should leave. I guess I trust their combined wisdom more than my own.
I told my therapist. She said OK. (Of course, I find out later that she doesn't understand the reason that I'm leaving)
Then I needed to find a new therapist. I asked for referrals. I asked my therapist and pdoc and GP. I asked two friends who are therapists (one was really helpful and helped me all through the process). I asked a friend who I trust who has been in therapy in this area for 15 years.
I looked for names that came up more than once (there were 2, I think), and guessed on the others. I trusted my therapist and pdoc's referrals more than the others. I had been in group therapy with one - she was a finalist. I called to arrange an interview and discounted a couple after the phone interview. I saw 4 therapists and the interviews were very informative. That brought it down to 2 finalists.
I decided between the two by talking to my therapist and my friend who is a therapist.
I now have a new therapist.
So my solution when I don't trust myself is to get a consensus from people who I do trust.
It sounds like you are in pain. That is enough to start the process. Or you can give more details to those who know you and get their opinions.
Do you think that your pdoc understands the pain you are in? Are you clear, and do you tell all in your appointments? If you have been clear with your pdoc and you think that he understands your situation then you should move on.
It is hard. It is very stressful, but it is worth it.
Is there a depression support group in your area? They will know who the good pdocs and bad pdocs are. Do you have friends who have a good pdoc? There are fewer restrictions about friends seeing the same pdoc than there are about friends seeing the same therapist.
How long have you been seeing your pdoc? How long have you been miserable?
((((((JYL))))))
Let me know how it goes.
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 5, 2003, at 13:14:43
In reply to Re: when to know when? » justyourlaugh, posted by fallsfall on July 5, 2003, at 9:40:34
thankyou fall for the input...
i really only have my husband to talk to..i cut myself off from everyone decades ago...
i have been seeing the head of pdoc in a large hospital and he says he can only see my every 5 weeks or so...its been about 10 months...
he says things that are not true about me and i always let it go...
pretty important issues get bushwacked..
i feel cheated but cant speak out!
j
Posted by fallsfall on July 5, 2003, at 15:21:35
In reply to Re: when to know when? » fallsfall, posted by justyourlaugh on July 5, 2003, at 13:14:43
You need to speak out. You need to tell him what is true. He can't make good decisions if he doesn't have correct information. If he is a good doctor he will want to hear everything you have to say. If he doesn't want to hear from you then you should leave.
It is hard to speak sometimes. Those darn "authority" figures. Are you afraid for him to know the truth? Are you afraid yourself to admit the truth? Do you think he will think less of you if he knows the truth? I have a friend who doesn't talk because she feels that she isn't important enough, not worthy to speak. There are lots of different reasons not to speak.
But I think that it is really important to give your pdoc all the information you can so he can make better decisions for you.
It also sounds like you think he is too busy to take care of you - that you want to see him more often. You can ask if there is medical reason that he likes 5 weeks, or is it logistical (he only has an opening then)? If it is medical, then you need to try to understand what he is saying, to see if you agree that it is a good reason. If it is logistical, then you should find another doctor.
These are such hard decisions, made doubly hard when we don't feel well.
I'll be here.
I wish you luck.
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 5, 2003, at 15:34:13
In reply to Re: when to know when? » justyourlaugh, posted by fallsfall on July 5, 2003, at 15:21:35
thanks again fall,,
you have great insight...
he said he cant see me much but wants me to go to a day program...i am on a list...?
he is very busy,i trust him though because i can make him laugh...
i booked a second opion for this week...
my md is very open ...he never wants me to make an a oppointment if i need him..just show up..
but he always sends me to emerg..when i do...
i feel like i am being bounced...
J
Posted by fallsfall on July 5, 2003, at 23:21:49
In reply to Re: when to know when? » fallsfall, posted by justyourlaugh on July 5, 2003, at 15:34:13
Day programs can be very good. The one I went to is in the hospital where I stayed - the day patients just join the in-patients for all of the groups etc. It gave me lots of help at one time and that was helpful. It can help you stabilize enough so you start moving up instead of going down. You might get them to give you a little tour before you get to the top of the waiting list.
I'm glad you have a second opinion scheduled. If this new guy says that he thinks you should be making changes, but you don't like the new guy's bedside manner, please remember that you can keep trying. Also, since psychiatric meds are more of an art than a science, the two pdocs can disagree quite a lot and both still be right.
Do you have a therapist?
When you have an appointment with your MD, then you want to talk to him and have him fix it. Does he do a reasonable exam before sending you to Emergency? Maybe you are just really good at knowing when you need to go to Emergency?
It sounds like you are doing the right things. Let me know how your second opinion goes.
((((JYL))))
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 6, 2003, at 0:05:13
In reply to Re: when to know when? » justyourlaugh, posted by fallsfall on July 5, 2003, at 23:21:49
fall,,
you have really giving me great advice..like a true caring friend..
thankyou for not judging...
i will take my second opion with "true"knowledge this time....
when i was in the hospital i too was to be intergraded with the day program...but i wouldnt leave my room...i couldnt get out of bed and they understood and left me alone...
did the have to play "bingo"out side my door every afternoon though!!!lol
thankyou once again friend
j
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