![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by madison88 on September 10, 2002, at 22:41:13
I have been seeing my psychologist for a little over a year. to be honest, nothing ever really clicked from the beginning. she has asked me what i needed and i said i needed her to be direct and insightful. she is great at sympathizing, but it makes me feel like i am just spitting out shit and she is just agreeing with me that yes life is difficult and yes i have problems. i have been putting this off for the last four months and have to find somebody else. I don't know how to tell her. I have never done that before and it is causing panic on my part.
i have some background on the types of therapy out there, but i am wondering if maybe there are certain types that work better with OCD, depression, and anxiety? I know i definately do not want psychoanalytic therapy (Freudian). I am a person who is very rational and logical, and i have to have therapy that works with ideas, with abstract reasoning. if anybody has any suggestions as to how to end a theraputic relationship or any experience in helpful therapies, i would love to hear from you!
Posted by bookgurl99 on September 10, 2002, at 22:52:12
In reply to therapy not working, what to say, who to see???, posted by madison88 on September 10, 2002, at 22:41:13
I'm sorry that you're going through this right now; it sounds like a tough situation.
I'm going to reverse the advice you gave me and say that you need to talk to her about it. If you feel like you're wasting your time, she may agree that your arrangement is just not working out -- and may know of someone who's had success with ocd types.
When I met my current therapist, I had shopped around a bit. I stuck with one that grabbed me, who was able to -- manipulate me or motivate me so that I actually changed my behavior instead of staying stuck.
It's sort of like a romance or friendship; I think when you finally do meet the right one, you'll know in your gut. So while this is tough, if you do decide to try another therapist, I'd listen to that feeling that something isn't clicking and sort of shop around until you find something that does.
*hugs* Hope things get better.
bookgurl99
Posted by madison88 on September 10, 2002, at 23:25:59
In reply to Re: therapy not working, what to say, who to see???, posted by bookgurl99 on September 10, 2002, at 22:52:12
Thanks. Never had a cyber hug before. i don't know that talking about anything will get me anywhere. she just does not have the ability to work with subtles. and that is what is hard. if she wants me to explain why i want to end it, i can't stand saying to her face that she is not able to help me. I mean, i know she has helped others, but she isn't helping me. this sucks.
Posted by bookgurl99 on September 10, 2002, at 23:56:59
In reply to Re: therapy not working, what to say, who to see???, posted by madison88 on September 10, 2002, at 23:25:59
> Thanks. Never had a cyber hug before. i don't know that talking about anything will get me anywhere. she just does not have the ability to work with subtles. and that is what is hard. if she wants me to explain why i want to end it, i can't stand saying to her face that she is not able to help me. I mean, i know she has helped others, but she isn't helping me. this sucks.
Well, I think good therapists can tell whether they're helping you or not. I'd go to work on the transition of leaving, just so you don't end up not going again and then feeling awkward about it ever after.
Posted by Dinah on September 11, 2002, at 0:16:10
In reply to therapy not working, what to say, who to see???, posted by madison88 on September 10, 2002, at 22:41:13
I understand that CBT works well for OCD, although it tend to get annoyed with the classroom atmosphere of it. But my therapist sneaks it in, and it has been useful for my OCD and anxiety. Perhaps less useful for other things.
I agree with bookgurl that you should talk this over with your present therapist.
I can't say I had instant bonding with my therapist. I must have quit 5 or 6 times, each time coming back. It was several stormy years before I started trusting him, at least in part because of how well he handled my terminations. And now I'm glad I stuck with him.
But I'm sure there are at least as many circumstances in which leaving is the best option. How she discusses the possibility with you might clarify matters a lot.
Good luck with clarifying what is right for you. If you do go elsewhere, interview, interview, interview. :)
Dinah
Posted by Medusa on September 18, 2002, at 10:12:04
In reply to therapy not working, what to say, who to see???, posted by madison88 on September 10, 2002, at 22:41:13
DH's therapist is very problem-solution oriented. We're seeing her on Tuesday - I'll ask what her approach or school is.
Sympathetic, she ain't. She doesn't laugh at jokes, and she doesn't allow distraction from the topic. She wouldn't say Oh Poor Baby about anxiety attacks - she'd probably ask where they started, how you benefit from them. I don't know. Tues' session is going to be about questions for our relationship, so I'll be under the gun more. We'll see.
M
Posted by Chris A. on September 18, 2002, at 17:43:42
In reply to therapy not working, what to say, who to see???, posted by madison88 on September 10, 2002, at 22:41:13
It sounds like to you don't have a good "fit" with your psychologist. It's the most important aspect of successful therapy. Remember, you are the "employer" in this situation. Any therapist who is professional will be understanding and supportive of your need to find someone who can really help you. A truly professional therapist or doc will not take it personally. I changed gyns within the same office this year after twelve years. It was really hard for me to do so, but I finally got some long term health issues successfully treated (whew)! I even see my old doc around the office, which makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, but the important thing is that I got better and quit wasting time, money and my suffering was reduced at the same time. Contact a University medical school/hospital psychiatry department for a referral if possible. My pDoc recommended my current therapist, who is the best I have ever had, but then my pDoc has pretty high standards. I understand how difficult it is to tell her it isn't working out. I still have the same primary care doc that took over the practice of the one that delivered me, and I am pushing fifty! It's not because he's such a great doc, it's just that I'm too scared to change. He should be retiring soon.... Part of my issue is that I want everyone to approve of me and like me.
Blessings,
Chris A.
Posted by goldfish on October 5, 2002, at 13:58:09
In reply to Re: therapy not working, what to say, who to see???, posted by Chris A. on September 18, 2002, at 17:43:42
Hi Madison88- Everyone's advice so far seems spot on, but I just wanted to add another word of support for cognitive-behavioral therapy. I did it for anxiety and it worked great. It's got a generally good track record treating anxiety problems, and it is time-limited so you can control the cost. I'm a logical-rational person like you, which is why I went for a type of therapy that was empirically proven to be successful with my type of problem.
Plus, if you want to avoid taking medication, cognitive therapy can help.
Good luck!
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.