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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on November 6, 2003, at 11:36:55
I think I might have to stop going to church. Since our associate pastor quit teaching our Sunday School class, I have felt more and more out of place. She used to be able to normalize my viewpoint, she understood the theological basis for it, and she appreciated my understanding of theology and my ability to answer her questions. She saw my differences with humor and understanding, and while I may have been mascotted, I did feel accepted.
But now people give me these looks as I walk down the hall. I'm expecting them to start giving the sign of the cross as I walk by. No one has any context to understand the points I am trying to make, and they are just dismayed by my differences.
Last Sunday, I spent most of the service with tears running down my face over Sunday School.
I guess I could go just to service, and skip Sunday School. But I have no enthusiasm for that either. I need spiritual guidance, I suppose. But I don't want to talk to my pastor. Maybe an outsider.
Sigh.
Posted by judy1 on November 8, 2003, at 15:02:42
In reply to Problems with church, if not faith, posted by Dinah on November 6, 2003, at 11:36:55
Since you're not feeling support from the members of your Sunday School class and you're crying about it during service, doesn't it make sense not to attend the Sunday School? Do you feel like the actual Church service is helping you? If so, then I would continue going to the service and skip the school. If not, then I most definitely would look for another church. If the associate pastor is still at the church, would you feel comfortable talking to her about your feelings? Since she was so supportive of you during school, I would think she would be supportive of you now. I would definitely try talking to her.
best of luck-judy
Posted by Dinah on November 9, 2003, at 14:15:26
In reply to Re: Problems with church, if not faith » Dinah, posted by judy1 on November 8, 2003, at 15:02:42
She no longer has a job at the church, although she's still a member. I actually saw her today on my way to my husband's Sunday School class. He's a brave man. There is another church of my denomination that might be a bit more tolerant, but it's the church that a lot of my son's friends go to and any problems on my part would have larger repercussions there.
I do have someone that I think I can use as a spiritual advisor.
I really do realize the advantage of my husband and I attending the same church, and actually going to it weekly, in terms of what's best for my son.
But as much as I want what's best for him, I don't know if I can bear the intense feelings of aloneness that only come when I'm with others.
Posted by femlite on November 11, 2003, at 23:38:16
In reply to Re: Problems with church, if not faith » judy1, posted by Dinah on November 9, 2003, at 14:15:26
Such sad times help remind us what each soul knows is its end, standing before Him someday alone. When the soul feels such solitude it remembers that He is its only real comfort and hope. When the bride clings so dearly to the bridegroom, sweetness and healing can come. blessings
> But as much as I want what's best for him, I don't know if I can bear the intense feelings of aloneness that only come when I'm with others.
Posted by Elle2021 on November 14, 2003, at 7:07:40
In reply to Problems with church, if not faith, posted by Dinah on November 6, 2003, at 11:36:55
Dinah,
There is still a religious group that is the real Truth. It is the Church of Christ (conservative). It is not a denomination, it is non-denominational. We only call ourselves Christians, as that is the only name authorized in the Bible. Please go to the website http://www.bible.ca/seek-about.htm and find one near you. It is well worth it. I sincerely believe it is the one True church. God bless you.
If you have any questions I would be more than happy to answer them as best as I can.
Elle
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 16, 2003, at 7:37:58
In reply to Re: Problems with church, if not faith » Dinah, posted by Elle2021 on November 14, 2003, at 7:07:40
> I sincerely believe it is the one True church.
Saying only one church is True implies that all others are False. Sorry, but the idea here is support, so I'd like some aspects of some beliefs not to be posted.
Bob
PS: Follow-ups regarding posting policies, and complaints about posts, should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration.
Posted by Dinah on November 21, 2003, at 8:53:04
In reply to Re: Problems with church, if not faith » Dinah, posted by femlite on November 11, 2003, at 23:38:16
Which, I suppose, defeats the purpose of providing a united religious front to our son.
I'm not up to figuring it out now. I will later I'm sure.
Posted by femlite on November 21, 2003, at 21:29:46
In reply to Re: I just quit going, posted by Dinah on November 21, 2003, at 8:53:04
Im not sure what I said that made you feel this reponse. I ceraintly dont want to discourage you further. It sounds like youve had enough.
Forgive me If I have.> Which, I suppose, defeats the purpose of providing a united religious front to our son.
>
> I'm not up to figuring it out now. I will later I'm sure.
Posted by Dinah on November 22, 2003, at 21:21:36
In reply to Re: I just quit going » Dinah, posted by femlite on November 21, 2003, at 21:29:46
Oh, I'm sorry. It had nothing to do with your post. Just an update. I usually remember to do updates by replying to my own post, but I guess I forgot. I apologize.
Posted by mair on December 1, 2003, at 17:55:11
In reply to Re: Problems with church, if not faith » judy1, posted by Dinah on November 9, 2003, at 14:15:26
" There is another church of my denomination that might be a bit more tolerant, but it's the church that a lot of my son's friends go to and any problems on my part would have larger repercussions there."
Dinah - you are what you are - which is warm, bright, thoughtful, caring....and principaled. The parents of the kids in my own childrens' classes come in all shapes and sizes and colors (actually unfortunately very little color) and with all creeds.
I can think of a couple of instances where I've had some very favorable feelings about someone I otherwise thought was off the wall simply because he/she had such great kids. I can think of no instance where my negative feelings toward a kid were simply a reflection of what I thought about his or her parents.
Don't ever worry that you can't be yourself.
Mair
Posted by Dinah on December 9, 2003, at 20:00:07
In reply to Re: Problems with church, if not faith » Dinah, posted by mair on December 1, 2003, at 17:55:11
> Don't ever worry that you can't be yourself.
>
> Mair
>I wish I could do that. Although my self esteem is pretty good in most areas, my conviction that I am a social liability remains unshaken. Maybe because it keeps getting reinforced. :) I try to stay as small and still as possible at my son's school and still worry that I'll be a liability to him. I let my husband do all the school mom stuff, because he's far more socially skilled than I am. My poor son is enough like me not to need any additional trouble from my presence.
I talked about it with my therapist today. He reminded me of the risks I took with the teacher of my Sunday School class and how they paid off (until she left). He wants me to try to find a place in the new class (seeming to agree with me that the old class is no longer a possibility).
I don't know. It's one thing to write a letter to one person (who is a pastor to boot) apologizing for myself. And yes, it did work out well. It's another thing to take similar risks with several laypeople.
This is the end of the thread.
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