Psycho-Babble Administration Thread 952980

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Re: what might help muffled

Posted by olivia12 on September 27, 2010, at 14:45:02

In reply to Re: what might help, posted by muffled on September 27, 2010, at 14:31:44

I am more confused than ever now. If one doesn't want to be involved in facebook/twitter exchanges then do not click on the link. I have no idea what all of the fear over lack of privacy is about!

 

Re: what might help

Posted by muffled on September 27, 2010, at 15:35:08

In reply to Re: what might help muffled, posted by olivia12 on September 27, 2010, at 14:45:02

> I am more confused than ever now. If one doesn't want to be involved in facebook/twitter exchanges then do not click on the link. I have no idea what all of the fear over lack of privacy is about!

*LOL, its a long and sordid story.
But at one time this site was quite busy and we developed a close knit group of people. People came and went and new people came and were welcomed and it was good.
The site was always searchable by google, which makes it very easy to find.
However for some reason unbeknownst to me, Bob felt the need to add the buttons that make it easy, and puts it in your face, that you can just click and post posts to facebook/tweets etc.
This could have been done before, but would have requiered much more effort, eg cutting and pasting, or copying links etc. This is much more of a conscious action than just clicking a button.
So anyways, we had felt reasonably safe here and would post about how we were doing etc, but now I am reluctant, cuz its just waaaay too easy to spread stuff around that I post. Whether on a thread of my own or someone elses. Bob in fact seems to be actively interested in spreading babble as far and wide as he can....and I don't know why??? It certainly hasn't made it a busier place....just more scarey.
Also, the posts are all archived here forever, they are not deleted after a time. As well, Bob will seldom remove posts, even if they are very hurtful and causing ongoing probs for someone.
As well, there is a possibility we will be 'studied' becuase that is what Bob(the owner) does and has in the past.
I post on a diff site, that is googlable, but doesn't archive posts, doesn't encourage posts to be placed elsewhere. So it feels more private, though we are all still careful there as it is the net.
However, there we feel more like we are talking in a restaraunt, rather than having what were are saying displayed on some large screen TV in the street....
THAT is the difference.
Its also in HOW Bob brought it into being. Most were against it, and spent much time expressing why etc, but still he did it, and he has done things like this in the past. The people that made babble, babble didn't seem to matter to him, he only cared about the 'bigger picture'. Which is why most babblers bailed on him.
Hope that answers your question.

 

Re: what might help muffled

Posted by olivia12 on September 27, 2010, at 15:51:04

In reply to Re: what might help, posted by muffled on September 27, 2010, at 15:35:08

Thank you, Muff. However, if you don't wish to partake in FB/twitter, just don't click on the links. I didn't and feel that my privacy is respected.

 

Re: what might help

Posted by Dinah on September 27, 2010, at 17:03:23

In reply to Re: what might help muffled, posted by olivia12 on September 27, 2010, at 15:51:04

> Thank you, Muff. However, if you don't wish to partake in FB/twitter, just don't click on the links. I didn't and feel that my privacy is respected.

For the record, the links aren't just for you to post your own posts elsewhere. Anyone can use the links to post your post anywhere they wish. The links have numbers next to them. On at least one of your posts in this thread, there's a number next to the Facebook link that shows at least one person clicked that link. It doesn't mean that they necessarily followed through and posted it anywhere. But someone, either you or someone else, used the button.

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100714/msgs/963975.html

 

Re: what might help

Posted by muffled on September 27, 2010, at 17:25:08

In reply to Re: what might help, posted by Dinah on September 27, 2010, at 17:03:23

> > Thank you, Muff. However, if you don't wish to partake in FB/twitter, just don't click on the links. I didn't and feel that my privacy is respected.
>
> For the record, the links aren't just for you to post your own posts elsewhere. Anyone can use the links to post your post anywhere they wish. The links have numbers next to them. On at least one of your posts in this thread, there's a number next to the Facebook link that shows at least one person clicked that link. It doesn't mean that they necessarily followed through and posted it anywhere. But someone, either you or someone else, used the button.
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100714/msgs/963975.html
>
>

*Thx Dinah, I think alot of people are not clear on that.

 

Re: what might help

Posted by muffled on September 27, 2010, at 17:26:04

In reply to Re: what might help, posted by muffled on September 27, 2010, at 17:25:08

just testing...

 

Re: I have an idea for Babble-------Dr Bob

Posted by PartlyCloudy on September 30, 2010, at 7:26:22

In reply to I have an idea for Babble, posted by Deneb on July 2, 2010, at 15:03:50

Dr Bob,
How about a decision or declaration from you regarding this proposal of a point system for posts?

Have you reached a decision? I hope you'll agree, from looking at the length and emotional tone of this thread, that the Babble community is seeking resolution here.

A word from you regarding whether or not a point system will be instituted would seem to be suitable.

Thank you
pc

 

Re: being blocked again

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 3, 2010, at 13:08:17

In reply to what might help, posted by twinleaf on September 22, 2010, at 20:10:30

> communications by the moderator are that poor and inaccurate.

Would anyone be willing to try to show twinleaf how she might rephrase the above or to encourage her to apologize? You may have the power to help her avoid being blocked again.

Bob

 

Re: requests were overridden

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 3, 2010, at 13:08:55

In reply to Re: what might help, posted by muffled on September 27, 2010, at 15:35:08

> these people's strong/ heartfelt/ sometimes-frantic/ clearly-put-forth requests were overridden. They might have been "heard" but they weren't acted on.
>
> I'd like it if the wishes of a HUGE number of participants here were respected. To me, in the case I mention, the wishes of a vast number of members were just ignored.
>
> Kath

I value input even when I don't act on it. At the same time, a quote I saw the other day:

> > "If I had asked my customers what they wanted," Ford said, "they would have said a faster horse."

--

> The site was always searchable by google, which makes it very easy to find.
> Bob felt the need to add the buttons that make it easy, and puts it in your face, that you can just click and post posts to facebook/tweets etc.
> This could have been done before, but would have requiered much more effort, eg cutting and pasting, or copying links etc. This is much more of a conscious action than just clicking a button.
> there we feel more like we are talking in a restaraunt, rather than having what were are saying displayed on some large screen TV in the street....
>
> muffled

Clicking a button is easier than cutting and pasting, but not doing anything is even easier than clicking a button, and not doing anything is what's required for posts to be displayed on Google's large screen. You can hide the buttons, and maybe make it feel more like a restaurant here, but that may be a false sense of security:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/951109.html

I think there's more concern now than there used to be about "the perils of the early digital age". Among "a great many people", not just Babblers:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100714/msgs/955800.html

Maybe one difference here is that someone else can be seen as responsible.

Bob

 

Re: being blocked again

Posted by olivia12 on October 3, 2010, at 16:19:01

In reply to Re: being blocked again, posted by Dr. Bob on October 3, 2010, at 13:08:17

Frankly, I find the idea of blocks to be condescending and a bit over the top, Doc Bob. I know your intentions are good, but we are all adults and so maybe the "time-outs" do not ring well with those on this site. Yes, the MI are fragile, but isn't everyone? The "normal" adult population does not do well with criticism and such. Disrespectful posts should be addressed, but maybe just a "wow, you are so not nice!" would suffice. Is just IMO.

 

retraction

Posted by twinleaf on October 3, 2010, at 16:28:15

In reply to to conclude....., posted by twinleaf on September 23, 2010, at 15:44:21

I will be glad to withdraw that sentence. It's a strange experience to have you overlook the many positive things I said (very truthfully) about your work here, in favor of preparing to block me for a year over a very tiny issue which probably only you have difficulty with. It would be wonderful if you would address some of the other more important issues which I discussed. These are the larger issues which concern everyone here. We do not expect that you will do things the way we ask, necessarily, but an honest, mutually respectful discussion would do wonders for the morale of Babble.

 

Re: other more important issues

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 3, 2010, at 17:08:55

In reply to retraction, posted by twinleaf on October 3, 2010, at 16:28:15

> I will be glad to withdraw that sentence.

Thanks.

> It would be wonderful if you would address some of the other more important issues which I discussed.

What other issues? I don't always keep reading when a poster becomes uncivil.

Bob

 

Re: retraction twinleaf

Posted by olivia12 on October 3, 2010, at 17:25:10

In reply to retraction, posted by twinleaf on October 3, 2010, at 16:28:15

It is in my opinion only that you should only say your "I'm sorry's" to those that you offended--IF you feel this way. You should not be forced to respond in a childlike fashion and be afraid that you will be booted if you do not behave. There are a lot of support sites out there and I feel it is not okay to feel "shunned" for your opinions or carelessness. We all get angry and speak out of turn--I have no idea what you said that landed you in this position. Nevertheless, I strongly feel that you should not beg to be a participant here. Maybe I am outta line, but I mean what I say. Good luck to you:)

 

Re: retraction olivia12

Posted by twinleaf on October 4, 2010, at 10:43:04

In reply to Re: retraction twinleaf, posted by olivia12 on October 3, 2010, at 17:25:10

The statement which received a "civility warning" was:

"communications by the moderator are poor and inaccurate."

It's not important to me how any one statement is perceived, and if it will help my overall message to be received with an open mind, I'm willing to remove any statements which Bob finds personally offensive.. Bob finds this particular sentence uncivil; others may well find it both civil and true. I do put a lot of caring and effort into my posts here, and naturally hope that the messages they contain will be given thoughtful consideration.
That's what matters to me.

 

Re: other more important issues

Posted by twinleaf on October 5, 2010, at 17:33:27

In reply to Re: other more important issues, posted by Dr. Bob on October 3, 2010, at 17:08:55

I did not intend any incivility towards Bob, and never have; I was drawing attention to what has been widely perceived to be a communication problem at Babble. I used language nearly identical to that used by a number of previous posters. It had not drawn civility warnings prior to the one I was given; this led me to believe it was accepted language for a known problem. Even so, I understand that there are bound to be uneven applications of the civility rules. If withdrawing a particular statement will be helpful, I do not mind doing it.

I do feel that Bob's reply, indicating that he did not read my posts, which I did my best to ensure were as supportive and constructive as I could make them, raised additional difficulties for me. "What other issues? I don't always keep reading when a poster becomes uncivil" is an example of how quickly and painfully communication can break down here. To know that, as part of the consequences for me, the posts I had put my best effort into would not be read felt like a hard slap in the face. I feel that it is very......uncivil.

 

This is place is owned and controlled by Bob twinleaf

Posted by muffled on October 5, 2010, at 18:20:24

In reply to Re: other more important issues, posted by twinleaf on October 5, 2010, at 17:33:27

It is HIS site. It is not a democracy. He is King.
:(

awww Twinleaf.....give it up. You can't win w/him. It's like beating your head against a wall.
Sometimes there's a crack or a chip of brick comes off, but the wall is 3 ft thick and you never gonna succeed.
You just gonna make yourself nuts.
You can say what you want and Bob may 'take it under consideration', but the reality has been...
That this is Bobs site.
It is owned by Bob.
It is run BY BOB.
It is HIS site, HIS toy.
People who post here are incidentals who truly have no power to influence here.
This has been proven again and again.
There has been change good and bad, but not alot, and ONLY because the owner/operator of this site deemed it should be so.
I am NOT saying Bob is bad.
I am saying Bob is Bob, and this is HIS site, and the consistant history to date has been that posters here have very little influence on him, he is NOT a good communicator, he frequently disappears mysteriously.
That is what Babble is.
I didn't like it, so I got out.
I hate to see people hurt here.
It was once a special place, but alas is no more.
It is NOT safe here IMHO. But that is MY feelings. Others are content here, tho most of the original and long time posters have now left :(
TC
M

 

Re: This is place is owned and controlled by Bob

Posted by olivia12 on October 5, 2010, at 19:04:06

In reply to This is place is owned and controlled by Bob twinleaf, posted by muffled on October 5, 2010, at 18:20:24

You all raise very good points. I don't know that Dr. Bob intends for this to be feeling so militant, but I agree that the flavor seems to be heading in that direction. I still feel that this is a "safe" site to voice opinions and feelings, while sharing very good info and insight. However, I do strongly oppose the use of "blocks"--this adult version of "time-out" is best left for a young child having a temper tantrum. We are all adults, MI or not, and RESPECT is paramount in maintaining a solid communication. While some have spoken out of anger or been somewhat rude in attempting to convey a sensitive message (I certainly have been!), what has been written does not warrant a reprimand for "bad behavior". Please. Regardless if this is a "controlled study" or whatever...people are still just people with strong voices. If Doc Bob feels the need to control this "control" group in a parent-like fashion, then I would imagine folks will just seek support and advise elsewhere. Is just IMO. I'm not angry, just wondering WTF is going on here...

 

Re: This is place is owned and controlled by Bob olivia12

Posted by muffled on October 5, 2010, at 19:47:34

In reply to Re: This is place is owned and controlled by Bob, posted by olivia12 on October 5, 2010, at 19:04:06

I think that I feel hurt by what I THOT Bob represented.
He seemed to care, this seemed to be a community, including Bob.
But it turned out that Bob was the King and would do what HE chose irregardless of what other consistant and supportive, itelligent long time posters had to say.
He didn't appear to care that we would leave :(
So many did.
:(

 

Re: This is place is owned and controlled by Bob

Posted by olivia12 on October 5, 2010, at 19:49:29

In reply to Re: This is place is owned and controlled by Bob olivia12, posted by muffled on October 5, 2010, at 19:47:34

Don't take it personally--you said what you mean and you mean what you say. That is all that matters:)

 

thx :) (nm) olivia12

Posted by muffled on October 5, 2010, at 20:07:45

In reply to Re: This is place is owned and controlled by Bob, posted by olivia12 on October 5, 2010, at 19:49:29

 

Re: other more important issues Dr. Bob

Posted by rskontos on October 30, 2010, at 0:09:41

In reply to Re: other more important issues, posted by Dr. Bob on October 3, 2010, at 17:08:55

> > I will be glad to withdraw that sentence.
>
> Thanks.
>
> > It would be wonderful if you would address some of the other more important issues which I discussed.
>
> What other issues? I don't always keep reading when a poster becomes uncivil.
>
> Bob

Now bob, What's grown up about saying you don't always keep reading when a poster..... In my humble opinion, Twinleaf wasn't uncivil. I don't get it. I've been gone for quite a while, I came back for the same reason as Muffled and I have missed some babblers and low and behold it same sh@t different day!

Bye all, I really wanted to rejoin but it ain't in the cards.

Take care all and know I will think of you guys fondly.

Some familiar names were nice to see, but this stuff, not so much.
rsk

 

Re: other more important issues

Posted by Toph on November 1, 2010, at 13:44:56

In reply to Re: other more important issues, posted by Dr. Bob on October 3, 2010, at 17:08:55

> What other issues? I don't always keep reading when a poster becomes uncivil.
>
> Bob

Didn't you mean "...when a poster posts an uncivil post."? Isn't it uncivil to describe a poster as uncivil instead of their post?

 

rofl! (nm) Toph

Posted by muffled on November 1, 2010, at 13:48:13

In reply to Re: other more important issues, posted by Toph on November 1, 2010, at 13:44:56

 

Re: other more important issues

Posted by olivia12 on November 1, 2010, at 20:25:10

In reply to Re: other more important issues, posted by Toph on November 1, 2010, at 13:44:56

You seem to want to antagonize--I know, I get this way too sometimes...

 

Re: saying what you mean and meaning what you say

Posted by Dr. Bob on November 6, 2010, at 0:36:14

In reply to Re: This is place is owned and controlled by Bob, posted by olivia12 on October 5, 2010, at 19:49:29

> you said what you mean and you mean what you say. That is all that matters:)

I know it matters, and don't mean to dismiss how difficult it can be, but is it really all that matters?

Bob


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