![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on October 3, 2011, at 14:39:30
I have an appointment with them soon. They assigned me a counselor and told me they where going to do a psychological evulation and get me some work but I have to wait until the counselor gets me in his email. Now, this is the problem. My mother may take the car if she finds out im trying to get on my own. The reason is because she thinks I can't take my medication right. She will take the car I know it because she has done this before. I need to get the locks changed and I don't know if I have the money to do it. I need some help with this because their is no persuading my mother once she has made her descion about what she wants to do.
I do have people that can help me get to where I go if she takes the car away. My friends from Narcotics Ananymous, they will help me out if this happens. I am really glad but im stressed about this because they will send me to doctor and if my mother finds out im seeing a doctor besides the one im seeing right now she will have a fit and take everything away.
What should I do? Most of this hasnt happened yet and I have no idea if this will happen but im planning for the worst.
Posted by mellow on October 3, 2011, at 14:55:04
In reply to I called DARS and this is whats going on, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on October 3, 2011, at 14:39:30
It sounds like your mom is really codependent. She seem really caught up in your behavior. If she doesn't see the value in you being able to have your own apartment, a job and even see your doctor alone then she is a bit misguided. I would keep this appointment with DARS. I would tell them you are involved in 12 steps and staying clean. Then try and move somewhere where you can walk to a job. Your NA friends will give you rides to meetings. Let your mom have your car. If you want to survive on your own you have to accept that she may not like that and withdraw support like a car or money. You have to be willing to do what it takes if you really want to go off on your own.
This will not change the fact that you are prone to stimulant abuse and continue to seek them. Maybe DARS could hook you up with a doctor who is a little more creative than your current pdoc. There has to be a way to feel good without stimulants. Wouldn't that be progress?
mellow
Posted by Solstice on October 3, 2011, at 17:43:50
In reply to I called DARS and this is whats going on, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on October 3, 2011, at 14:39:30
Aren't you proud of yourself? You should be!
Here are my thoughts on your dilemmas:
1) On being independent: You have a lot of small steps to succeed at before you can be on your own. DARS will only enroll you in one program at a time - i.e. you have to start with either getting a job, or getting help with independence. You'll need a job to be independent - so I would start there. If your mom knows you have contacted DARS for help with getting a job, she may very well be happy about that. So just leave it at that. After you get a job and are successful at keeping it.. then you can start on the goal of independence. I don't blame her for being worried about it because you have steadily maintained that you wanted to be independent so you could get access to drugs you'll abuse. But, if she sees you working toward getting a job - you might start earning some respect and trust. Start with small, incremental steps. You are working with DARS to get help in finding employment. Period. That's the first step - and that's all you and your mom need to be thinking about. One thing at a time.
2) The psychologist that does the testing is not the same as the psychiatrist that prescribes for you. When you meet with the counselor, that's when you'll sign releases so they can get your medical history. Your current psychiatrist will be the one who continues to manage your medications. The DARS psychologist is someone you will only see one or two times - and it's purely for testing. They usually contract with private psychologists, and after the testing they will send you and DARS a report of the evaluation. The testing has nothing to do with medication, so your mom has nothing to fear. You aren't trying to get drugs.. you're trying to get a job. The psychiatrist you have will continue to be your psychiatrist during this part of the process.
3) Your privacy rights: DARS can not and will not talk to your mother without your written consent. If you have $60, go to your local post office and get a six-month post office box so you have a mailing address where you can be sure that no one else opens your mail. I assume you have a cell phone.. if so - give that phone number out as your 'home phone,' so that no one else answers your calls or gets your voice mail messages.
I'm so excited for you!
Solstice
> I have an appointment with them soon. They assigned me a counselor and told me they where going to do a psychological evulation and get me some work but I have to wait until the counselor gets me in his email. Now, this is the problem. My mother may take the car if she finds out im trying to get on my own. The reason is because she thinks I can't take my medication right. She will take the car I know it because she has done this before. I need to get the locks changed and I don't know if I have the money to do it. I need some help with this because their is no persuading my mother once she has made her descion about what she wants to do.
>
> I do have people that can help me get to where I go if she takes the car away. My friends from Narcotics Ananymous, they will help me out if this happens. I am really glad but im stressed about this because they will send me to doctor and if my mother finds out im seeing a doctor besides the one im seeing right now she will have a fit and take everything away.
>
> What should I do? Most of this hasnt happened yet and I have no idea if this will happen but im planning for the worst.
Posted by Phillipa on October 3, 2011, at 19:06:03
In reply to Re: I called DARS and this is whats going on, posted by Solstice on October 3, 2011, at 17:43:50
Matt fingers crossed your Mom doesn't find out. You can do it. I know you can. Love Phillipa
Posted by floatingbridge on October 3, 2011, at 20:42:22
In reply to Re: I called DARS and this is whats going on, posted by Phillipa on October 3, 2011, at 19:06:03
Matt,
I'm reading along and want to wish you steady successes in your efforts. The advice in this thread seems really solid. Good luck.
Posted by jono_in_adelaide on October 3, 2011, at 20:50:37
In reply to I called DARS and this is whats going on, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on October 3, 2011, at 14:39:30
Dont tell your mother whats happening until you're gone, then it will be too late?
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.