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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by vic80 on March 6, 2010, at 7:12:04
I have had no history of any mental illness or any other major illness. I do not use any intoxicants, am a non-smoker and a vegetarian.
I have had a very stressed past 3-4 years with a lot of personal/familial and financial problems which I think brought on my sever anxiety and depression which I was diagnosed for 2 months ago.
I have been on escitalopram 10mg for over 8 weeks. It has made my dysphoric/depressive spells less.... but of late I realised I am not able to feel much emotion... like some sort of zombie state of mind
I keep trying to sing songs in my mind to avoid the blank feeling... keep talking to myself in my head...
I am not even letting my mind silent for a second for the fear of blanking out... and when I am concentrating on any physical work which does not involve reading or talking... i start staring into blankness... and immidiately after that I panic badly...
I 'have an above average individual ability and my personality type is neurotic' according to a psych. therapist I consulted a couple of months ago.
I am very sorry for the incoherence in my question. I guess I am feeling quite stressed.
What has made me utterly distressed is that past 4-5 days I have realised/felt that I am not thinking much too. I have very few thoughts. And this scares me.I am not sure firstly if I am emotinally-numbed - I do have to say that I am not reactive - I do not light up at seeing people I know... I feel apathetic and disinterested in most things.... not that I do not enjoy at ALL if I participate..
Before medication I recall being quite anxious and had spells of severe depression. But this current state of being numb is very very difficult to take. It is making me further depressed in a way.
I have read a lot about SSRI's emotional-numbing effect, but is thought-numbing too a side-effect?Could it be that because for the past 3 months or so I have been caught inside my mind, constantly watching myself and have been disconnected fromt the outside world has made me suddenly realise as though I have nothing to think..
I also feel a bit unreal at times.... especially in eveningscould it be that I am trying to run away from my own negative thoughts that keep going on in my subconscious... sometimes when I feel blank i feel as though theres another thought processin my deep mind which I am not aware of....
I have some very nihilistic thoughts in mind once in a while which scare me a lot...
I am very concerned... I am not sure if this thought-numbing/ lack of thoughts thing has been going on through the entire time of the medication, or I suddenly felt it a couple of days ago.
Its definitely making life difficult beyond words.
I am infact to the extent of feeling stupid distressed. I keep wondering "how I used to think", "what I used to think" etc.... it has made my situation quite horrible.I also feel that i react to strong emotional situations - with a knot in my throat and feel overwhelmed - anxious and feel as though I am swooning.
I have been a very creative person, very well read, philosophical and interested in arts... my intellectual abilities too seem rather dulled..
I guess my question is not just to do with the medication, but to know how I should handle the obviously difficult situation.
Is this some sort of a web I have cuaght myself in... where outside my head nothing seems to exist? Is it a part of depression (I have never ever felt like this before)...
My psych. doc whom I met today was not very empathetic and was rather dismissive of my concerns as my imaginings... and my financial condition / place of stay doesnt permit me to have many options..."
Posted by conundrum on March 6, 2010, at 8:48:02
In reply to Feel blank, thoughtless - Lexapro or Depression, posted by vic80 on March 6, 2010, at 7:12:04
It could be the lexapro. Do you know why your psych thinks its in your head? You may be able to take half the 10 mg pill and still find relief from depression and feel more vibrant. If you still feel blunted and blank you could try half of a half. Some people respond to low doses of lexapro.
As for blank thoughts, I've never heard of that with SSRIs, but anything is possible.
Posted by polarbear206 on March 6, 2010, at 10:38:53
In reply to Feel blank, thoughtless - Lexapro or Depression, posted by vic80 on March 6, 2010, at 7:12:04
> I have had no history of any mental illness or any other major illness. I do not use any intoxicants, am a non-smoker and a vegetarian.
> I have had a very stressed past 3-4 years with a lot of personal/familial and financial problems which I think brought on my sever anxiety and depression which I was diagnosed for 2 months ago.
> I have been on escitalopram 10mg for over 8 weeks. It has made my dysphoric/depressive spells less.... but of late I realised I am not able to feel much emotion... like some sort of zombie state of mind
> I keep trying to sing songs in my mind to avoid the blank feeling... keep talking to myself in my head...
> I am not even letting my mind silent for a second for the fear of blanking out... and when I am concentrating on any physical work which does not involve reading or talking... i start staring into blankness... and immidiately after that I panic badly...
> I 'have an above average individual ability and my personality type is neurotic' according to a psych. therapist I consulted a couple of months ago.
> I am very sorry for the incoherence in my question. I guess I am feeling quite stressed.
> What has made me utterly distressed is that past 4-5 days I have realised/felt that I am not thinking much too. I have very few thoughts. And this scares me.
>
> I am not sure firstly if I am emotinally-numbed - I do have to say that I am not reactive - I do not light up at seeing people I know... I feel apathetic and disinterested in most things.... not that I do not enjoy at ALL if I participate..
> Before medication I recall being quite anxious and had spells of severe depression. But this current state of being numb is very very difficult to take. It is making me further depressed in a way.
> I have read a lot about SSRI's emotional-numbing effect, but is thought-numbing too a side-effect?
>
> Could it be that because for the past 3 months or so I have been caught inside my mind, constantly watching myself and have been disconnected fromt the outside world has made me suddenly realise as though I have nothing to think..
> I also feel a bit unreal at times.... especially in evenings
>
> could it be that I am trying to run away from my own negative thoughts that keep going on in my subconscious... sometimes when I feel blank i feel as though theres another thought processin my deep mind which I am not aware of....
>
> I have some very nihilistic thoughts in mind once in a while which scare me a lot...
>
> I am very concerned... I am not sure if this thought-numbing/ lack of thoughts thing has been going on through the entire time of the medication, or I suddenly felt it a couple of days ago.
>
> Its definitely making life difficult beyond words.
> I am infact to the extent of feeling stupid distressed. I keep wondering "how I used to think", "what I used to think" etc.... it has made my situation quite horrible.
>
> I also feel that i react to strong emotional situations - with a knot in my throat and feel overwhelmed - anxious and feel as though I am swooning.
>
> I have been a very creative person, very well read, philosophical and interested in arts... my intellectual abilities too seem rather dulled..
>
> I guess my question is not just to do with the medication, but to know how I should handle the obviously difficult situation.
> Is this some sort of a web I have cuaght myself in... where outside my head nothing seems to exist? Is it a part of depression (I have never ever felt like this before)...
>
>
> My psych. doc whom I met today was not very empathetic and was rather dismissive of my concerns as my imaginings... and my financial condition / place of stay doesnt permit me to have many options..."
>
>Well you could be having some residual depression here. You can raise the dose and see what happens. If this continues, you could be experiencing SSRI induced apathy. I would suggest you switch to SNRI which targets norepinephrine as well as serotonin. If your symptoms don't abate, you may need augment your AD. Might want to suggest this to your p-doc. Good luck.
Posted by Phillipa on March 6, 2010, at 10:39:24
In reply to Re: Feel blank, thoughtless - Lexapro or Depression » vic80, posted by conundrum on March 6, 2010, at 8:48:02
I'm sorry for 15 years I've felt the same feelings and try and blank out to avoid negative thoughts. Phillipa
Posted by manic666 on March 6, 2010, at 14:33:50
In reply to Feel blank, thoughtless - Lexapro or Depression, posted by vic80 on March 6, 2010, at 7:12:04
10mg was your starter dose, you felt better for a time an now you stuck.////you need to raise your dose or you will stay in limbo// your in no mans land at the moment // not enough to help but just enough not to.
Posted by g_g_g_unit on March 6, 2010, at 22:16:55
In reply to Re: Feel blank, thoughtless - Lexapro or Depression, posted by manic666 on March 6, 2010, at 14:33:50
it sounds like what you're experiencing is depersonalization (something i've battled with for a while, and have just recently been diagnosed with).
i often used to experience it during the early stages of SSRI trials, which is the primary reason i would abandon them early. it's like they end up dulling all thoughts - good and bad - which can be really alienating. that was part of why i posted a thread asking what exactly an SSRI therapeutic effect should look like - does that emptiness go away, or do you just grow more comfortable with it, and eventually forget about it? i can't remember the last time i felt like myself.
it's sad your pdoc lacked empathy over your situation - you're obviously intelligent and in distress. i can't say i've had much more luck dealing with professionals.
Posted by manic666 on March 7, 2010, at 4:55:20
In reply to Re: Feel blank, thoughtless - Lexapro or Depression, posted by manic666 on March 6, 2010, at 14:33:50
THATS RIGHT GGG. the 10mg helped his brain slow to help the healing process, but has he hasnt moved on in mg,s , /// he is stuck an needs a kick start of another 10 mg , then in a week mabye another 10mg .you will no one way or the other what way your going then.// but just let me tell you your takeing a med ,/// your not going to be the same person while you do.// but you will be a better person than if you didnt take any. so up to you now, stay safe
Posted by connor on March 12, 2010, at 10:54:39
In reply to Feel blank, thoughtless - Lexapro or Depression, posted by vic80 on March 6, 2010, at 7:12:04
This is what antidepressants do to you - at least that's what they did to me. Not much you can do - I have found certain supplements that have been somewhat beneficial but ultimately the problem will always be there
This is the end of the thread.
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